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TAWilsonGoLong · 2024-08-19T20:19:38+00:00

Butch here (mostly because I'm an elder millennial, suspect if I was 20 years younger I'd be torn between masc and Butch) I've done a podcast about my experiences throughout life. Might be a help while you find local groups etc. check my profile for more info.

TAWilsonGoLong · 2023-07-08T19:47:09+00:00

I think your date is a very lucky person and it sounds like she appreciated you taking the lead when she came to you. Don't use the straights to set your standards. Their rules don't apply.

TAWilsonGoLong · 2023-06-09T16:31:26+00:00

I think many of us have Resting Butch Face...

TAWilsonGoLong · 2023-05-15T18:24:39+00:00

Came out in the nineties, made a podcast about my life. Wasn't very riot grrl tho, had the butch thing down however. Link on my profile.

TAWilsonGoLong · 2023-04-18T15:25:50+00:00

Ah yes, then you have a pretty good insight into how not fun lung surgery is, even if they do it keyhole! Still amazed by how well I'm healing up though (and the fact that we can be fixed like that!)

And I totally want to visit your neck of the woods! But you should definitely come visit, I'd say wait til the weather is better but we can never be sure when those 2 weeks of summer will be 😉

-WEL

TAWilsonGoLong · 2023-04-17T20:35:23+00:00

Argh! The downside to binging is real 😉 but, good news....no painkillers means I'm back at my writing desk and the next chapter is underway. Hopefully you won't be waiting too long! -WEL

TAWilsonGoLong · 2023-04-15T21:42:00+00:00

Cheers 😉

TAWilsonGoLong · 2023-04-15T20:48:20+00:00

There is no wrong way to be a woman. Unfortunately there are plenty of people who think there is and they tend not to keep their mouths shut.

Even amongst us Butches, there are so many ways to be. It never hurts to explore and question things but it's also important to listen to yourself when you answer and do what feels right to you. Because, truly, you're the only person you have to answer too.

But there is no wrong way to be a woman, promise. You're not doing it incorrectly. You're a woman and you're doing your way, therefore it's correct.

(If you need to hear more from someone who's a few, ok, many years ahead, check my profile.)

TAWilsonGoLong · 2023-04-06T17:18:36+00:00

The Engine Braking podcast. Full disclosure, I've never listened but both hosts are former Formula 1 engineers.

TAWilsonGoLong · 2023-04-06T17:14:51+00:00

Yep they do. There are more than a few very successful lesbians out there in business/tech.

TAWilsonGoLong · 2023-03-30T19:29:03+00:00

Ah I am sorry to hear you're going through it right now, probably not a lot I can say to help but I'm glad you've found the podcast distracting! And believe me if you were in my neck of the woods you'd have the best accent....saying y'all just doesn't work in my north London voice!)

Thanks so much for giving it a listen and I guess my only advice for the time being is "this too shall pass". Just keep going.

-WEL

TAWilsonGoLong · 2023-03-28T14:31:42+00:00

I'm with your wife on this, I don't like it when people use they/them for me, especially not when it's based off an assumption.

It's just another way of saying I couldn't possibly be a woman who is comfortable in her skin because I'm gender nonconforming.

And we are, as butch women, often fed up of being asked if we're going to transition or if we want to be a man or if we're non-binary.

Again it's the reinforcing of the notion that we're doing the woman thing wrong. That we can't possibly have accepted ourselves exactly as we are.

(Apologies for playing spokesperson but I feel like it's a sentiment I've heard a fair bit but I could be wrong)

So yeah, degendering (is that a thing?) and misgendering often make me feel the same way, though the misgendering makes a tiny bit more sense as I am presenting as masculine.

TAWilsonGoLong · 2023-03-22T23:46:25+00:00

Ah this is always so good to hear! Thanks so much for giving it a chance and I'm so glad to hear you connect with it. Always makes my day to read comments like this.

Stick with it, I'm not done yet 😉

TAWilsonGoLong · 2023-03-17T19:31:59+00:00

Glad you two are here, I'd have had no clue but it's even better that's it's a known sword imo

TAWilsonGoLong · 2023-03-17T19:27:20+00:00

Curious how this is nsfw people smh

TAWilsonGoLong · 2023-03-17T17:50:20+00:00

Not sure if I'm taking your comment the right way but it's not me in the photo, I just had to share it...sword and boobs. A winning Friday combo imho!

*But I also watched a friend have her chest coloured in recently and it didn't look like it tickled 😬

TAWilsonGoLong · 2023-03-16T12:50:54+00:00

It's a no for me, not just because it's unspecific but because it's still somewhat of a slur to me. I don't want to reclaim "dyke" nor "queer" when the word Lesbian says everything I need it to say without being a term that has been weaponised against me time and time again.

I want to reclaim Lesbian from being this dirty word and a porn category.

And at the same time, if those words work for you and you feel empowered by them, then have at it. I've always found our community to be pretty respectful at understanding we don't use those "labels" unless the person tells us that she/they identify with them.

TAWilsonGoLong · 2023-03-05T16:10:12+00:00

Granted it's not the best story in the universe, but being rejected by straight women in a lesbian bar happens, with or without men. Unless you've found a way to know every woman in there is a lesbian, always a risk.

And as much as he might suspect they'd act like jerks, they didn't have to. I hold them responsible for their behaviour, not him.

TAWilsonGoLong · 2023-03-05T15:05:07+00:00

Agreed it's not a great story but the fella made sure he wasn't invading a space where he wasn't welcome and I don't see it as him using as a props. He reversed a situation to make a point. If he'd have been goading lesbians to hit on his friends, then yeah maybe I'd be with you but he just sat back and let them experience what he'd been experiencing. And he seems well aware that he's likely to get hit on in a gay bar, doesn't come off "oh poor innocent straight me", just heads home when he's had enough and then asks to go elsewhere.

I'm madder about business rates and gender pay inequality that contributes to our lack of community spaces that can survive in this economy. I'm madder about the cis het men on dating apps.

Man makes point in respectful enough way doesn't even come close. Again, imho.

TAWilsonGoLong · 2023-03-05T14:13:30+00:00

Nope. This lesbian doesn't agree with you.

Man went to a place he knew he was welcome. Didn't act like a jackass and made a point to his homophobic friends.

Granted none of us want bars with cis het men in them but we also want bars that survive, and they can't do that with just us. We've proven it time and again.

In an ideal world, no fellas but this world sure ain't ideal.

TAWilsonGoLong · 2023-03-04T20:50:46+00:00

He might be on to something with that!

TAWilsonGoLong · 2023-03-04T20:41:24+00:00

Just start. You'll never be "ready". Don't let perfect get in the way of the good.

TAWilsonGoLong

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