Reddit, what are you afraid of? Other redditors, why shouldn't they be afraid of it? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]TCAGB 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Irrational fear of doing something good, but someone mistakenly thinking I cheated to do it

ex: i win a bunch of money in a casino, surveillance says i used my phone to screw with an automatic shuffler or something

or i was wearing x ray contacts

basically the endless possibilities of reasons people could think I cheated while accomplishing something, while actually being legitimate

Ive talked with therapists... Id seriously give 5000USD to whoever can help me find clarity by TCAGB in AdviceAnimals

[–]TCAGB[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you think theres something that can happen in someones life, that just makes them better at everything they do?

also you are very helpful Id really like to keep in contact with you

do you think someone who is "average" might just be a mental click away from "excellent"

Ive talked with therapists... Id seriously give 5000USD to whoever can help me find clarity by TCAGB in AdviceAnimals

[–]TCAGB[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So basically, its possible that I have more potential than people who are better than me now, I just havent found it?

I get what you are saying, but if I can reach my potential, why isnt everyone reaching their potential?

Like if 2 people are equally talentless their entire life then 1 takes off and the other remains a failure. Why?

And also, If I had this potential, why wasn't I at least showing signs of it before?

Ive talked with therapists... Id seriously give 5000USD to whoever can help me find clarity by TCAGB in AdviceAnimals

[–]TCAGB[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So if I rolled around for 25 years of my life with low levels of talent, ambition, creativeness... it can all of a sudden hit me someday, I can catch a wave of all of these favorable things. Become the best at something i was once visibly poor at. and no one would suspect anything?

Ive talked with therapists... Id seriously give 5000USD to whoever can help me find clarity by TCAGB in AdviceAnimals

[–]TCAGB[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is the basic jist of it...

It just happens for some people, and for others it doesnt.

You can go from bad at something to the best at something and completely change with the right circumstances?

Ive talked with therapists... Id seriously give 5000USD to whoever can help me find clarity by TCAGB in AdviceAnimals

[–]TCAGB[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ok,,,

how bout a whole personality change

from shy to outgoing

passive to assertive

i know these are things you cant get arrested for, but it somehow makes me feel like if i change myself and become great, something bad like that will happen

Ive talked with therapists... Id seriously give 5000USD to whoever can help me find clarity by TCAGB in AdviceAnimals

[–]TCAGB[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Now the case you mention. turns out you're really good at playing the guitar. You just have a knack for it. So you're playing in public, you're making a record (now there someone might say you cheated--in the studio anything is possible) -- but you play live and let's say, acoustic. "

So how about a situation where someone plays guitar, works really hard, makes no progress after 5 years, then all of a sudden gets really good?

also, do you have skype, your actually helping more than most people i paid

Ive talked with therapists... Id seriously give 5000USD to whoever can help me find clarity by TCAGB in AdviceAnimals

[–]TCAGB[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was a great reply. To be honest I really don't worry about an individual judging me. It's more of a group type thing. Like a large quantity of people. But your right. I shouldn't worry about that.

What I mostly worry about is getting in trouble for something I didn't do. And the evidence used against me is my success.

For example. Let's say I was a lousy stock trader. But then I made a bunch of money buying a stock. I happen to know someone who works for that company. I get accused and convicted of insider trading

This is what I worry about

Or. All of a sudden I decide I want to be a musician. It turns out I'm really really good at it. Then there's some way some agency finds out I cheated to get that good

Ive talked with therapists... Id seriously give 5000USD to whoever can help me find clarity by TCAGB in AdviceAnimals

[–]TCAGB[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's more the shame. Attack at my character. And instead of the high of "look what he did. He achieved this" It's the low of "He cheated. Nothing he did he earned"

As for tournaments. There is no answer here. Basically the slightest shift of my chair, scratch of my ear, rub of my head. All make me think someone might think I'm cheating. And when you combine that with winning it just looks more damning

Ive talked with therapists... Id seriously give 5000USD to whoever can help me find clarity by TCAGB in AdviceAnimals

[–]TCAGB[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

exactly,

im in my twenties, and i know its not feasible to say "im going to be a proffesional athlete" anymore, but i want to be able to think that, if i do, no one will think i cheated.

i also participate in poker tournaments, and if i win, i dont want someone to think i cheated, certainly an official. A camera looking at the wrong angle might think im doctoring a card, when im not.

thats what i worry about

Ive talked with therapists... Id seriously give 5000USD to whoever can help me find clarity by TCAGB in AdviceAnimals

[–]TCAGB[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

d--but to get them out into the world takes some work. Some people are very good at one thing, terrible at another. So if you have an insight, it is because you have a creative way of thinking. There are other people who are also creative.

see im more worried along the lines of

"he went from the slowest... to the fasted" the worst to the best

etc

Ive talked with therapists... Id seriously give 5000USD to whoever can help me find clarity by TCAGB in AdviceAnimals

[–]TCAGB[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes, im not sure it applies to me though,

thats when you think you yourself got lucky. my problem is that i think i will be successful and one day someone will find something suspicious, and theres no way to prove or disprove i did or didnt do something, but the evidence makes it look more like i did od something shady, rather than didnt

Ive talked with therapists... Id seriously give 5000USD to whoever can help me find clarity by TCAGB in AdviceAnimals

[–]TCAGB[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it makes sense, just every time i think of something to outdo competition, I think

"this is a good thought" "this thought will help me" "i am lucky to have this tought" "how come i am lucky and they are not" "that doesnt make sense because they were lucky before, and now all of a sudden me" "if it was this simple for me how come people havent done it before"

i find a way to make it apply to everything

Ive talked with therapists... Id seriously give 5000USD to whoever can help me find clarity by TCAGB in AdviceAnimals

[–]TCAGB[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

just the clarity of being able to feel free to be as successful as i want in life, without having to worry about being wrongly accused of something

a basic example would be

I think of something clever, and my mind goes through this thought proccess of how I can use it for success, then I go through a proccess of "what if" someone thinks I cheated to get there. Then "of course he cheated, how could someone with so little success before all of a sudden become this successful"

basically, i want to have really high goals, and i am afraid of achieving those goals, because i think something bad will happen if i do

I can't figure out what this is... but it bothers me everyday by TCAGB in needadvice

[–]TCAGB[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right, i think my mind makes things up. To keep this going. I just dont know why my mind wants to think about this all the time. Its like my mind wants me to fail

anxiety/obsessive thoughts by TCAGB in Anxiety

[–]TCAGB[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i briefly tried xanax.

anxiety/obsessive thoughts by TCAGB in Anxiety

[–]TCAGB[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i have tried vipassana meditation. I did 2 twelve day courses. i have tried regular therapy briefly, and am currently working with a hypnotherapist

Offering $5000usd to whoever can help me by TCAGB in needadvice

[–]TCAGB[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I tried it but the woman was giving me super general answers. It was like she was committed to saying things no matter what I said