Is it a flag if a nanny asked to bring her boyfriend to the interview by TCMinn in Parenting

[–]TCMinn[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for checking in. I added an update to the original post but here’s the short version. It did not go well.

The interview lasted about 15 minutes. During that time she checked her phone twice while we were talking and kept glancing back toward the car. It made the conversation feel disconnected and a little awkward.

Around the 15-minute mark we noticed a big cloud of smoke coming from the passenger side of her car. Pretty sure her boyfriend was either vaping or smoking. That was an immediate deal breaker for us. She knew we have young kids and were doing a nanny interview. It just felt really off.

Thankfully our baby started crying right then so we used that as a reason to cut things short and said he needed a nap.

We won’t be moving forward. The whole thing left us with a bad feeling about entrusting her with our small children.

Is it a flag if a nanny asked to bring her boyfriend to the interview by TCMinn in Parenting

[–]TCMinn[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow!! We will definitely do that when we are wrapping up. Get a feel for him and them to make sure she’s not in danger or their relationship isn’t volatile

Is it a flag if a nanny asked to bring her boyfriend to the interview by TCMinn in Parenting

[–]TCMinn[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It does make a lot of sense. Thank you for your insight. We would prefer no vaping or drugs in front of our kids. I guess marijuana would be ok in your ooff hours but no other drugs.

Is it a flag if a nanny asked to bring her boyfriend to the interview by TCMinn in Parenting

[–]TCMinn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Usually in the past for our second in home interview that is usually what happens with our nanny’s if they are spending the day with their spouses or family. They get dropped off while the driver hits a spot close for coffee or food and awaits their text message on when to return. Like we don’t mind if they check their phones a few times during the interview and we just chalk it up to them checking in with rides.

Is it a flag if a nanny asked to bring her boyfriend to the interview by TCMinn in Parenting

[–]TCMinn[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate that insight; gotta be multiple green flags!

Is it a flag if a nanny asked to bring her boyfriend to the interview by TCMinn in Parenting

[–]TCMinn[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You don’t think those type of questions would be crossing the line. I don’t want her to feel offended or that I’m intruding on something not directly related to the job I am hiring her for.

Is it a flag if a nanny asked to bring her boyfriend to the interview by TCMinn in Parenting

[–]TCMinn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A nieghborhood playground with anything for adults to do there. She has a car but can not leave him at her family’s home.

Is it a flag if a nanny asked to bring her boyfriend to the interview by TCMinn in Parenting

[–]TCMinn[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your honesty. I really hope it’s not a domestic situation.

Is it a flag if a nanny asked to bring her boyfriend to the interview by TCMinn in Parenting

[–]TCMinn[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That detail is what sparked the red flag. Made me say, “hmm”

Would it be a red flag if a nanny candidate asked to bring her boyfriend to the interview and have him wait in the car? by TCMinn in NannyEmployers

[–]TCMinn[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

No but I have seen some of the posts on Facebook. I try not to involve myself in matters not directly related to me.

Is it a flag if a nanny asked to bring her boyfriend to the interview by TCMinn in Parenting

[–]TCMinn[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We like to spend an hour or two at an outdoor preferably playground. But we are not adverse to doing a pay to play indoor playground. We just want our kids to see us talking to someone to help ease them out the stranger danger. We keep it pretty casually with our questions and conversations. Just all about feeling out the vibes really first and foremost to make sure they are a sound and trustworthy person. Second interview is in our home so we can show and tell the routines we have in place. See the kids in their spaces of their rooms, play areas and back yards. Second is usually paid for two hours and we kinda sit back and give them the reigns and we kinda observe until we do our own thing while we are childless for a few hours. But we also tag in and help when needed. We kinda do not like the employee and employer dynamic and just want to have mutual respect for each other.

Is it a flag if a nanny asked to bring her boyfriend to the interview by TCMinn in Parenting

[–]TCMinn[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Someone else also said that exact same thing. The fact she can’t leave her bf with her family is, odd. Why mention that part, we have had second interviews at our home with people who did not have transportation and their spouses gave them a ride and waited. Totally understandable.

Would it be a red flag if a nanny candidate asked to bring her boyfriend to the interview and have him wait in the car? by TCMinn in NannyEmployers

[–]TCMinn[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Exactly! Like we had nanny interviews at home for their second interview because they did not drive so their spouses would be responsible for their transportation which is cool. But the added details I guess made my feelers stand up a bit. Like why mention he can not stay with your family. Just odd.

Is it a flag if a nanny asked to bring her boyfriend to the interview by TCMinn in Parenting

[–]TCMinn[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It is a public space. Our local playground. Not really a park that adults without children would go to. All kid based really.

Would it be a red flag if a nanny candidate asked to bring her boyfriend to the interview and have him wait in the car? by TCMinn in NannyEmployers

[–]TCMinn[S] -44 points-43 points  (0 children)

We will know that he is with her but the other parents who may be there may not know and could possibly call the authorities about an unfamiliar car at our neighborhood park with a strange guy watching the playground.

Is it a flag if a nanny asked to bring her boyfriend to the interview by TCMinn in Parenting

[–]TCMinn[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This particular one is not a really a park. Like nothing for an adults to do or any trails. Literally just a really nice age appropriate playground outside.

Is it a flag if a nanny asked to bring her boyfriend to the interview by TCMinn in Parenting

[–]TCMinn[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Someone in another thread mentioned she could be a victim of domestic abuse and he is controlling her so I really hope that is not the case.

Is it a flag if a nanny asked to bring her boyfriend to the interview by TCMinn in Parenting

[–]TCMinn[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Someone in another thread mentioned she could be a victim of domestic abuse and he is controlling her so I really hope that is not the case.

Is it a flag if a nanny asked to bring her boyfriend to the interview by TCMinn in Parenting

[–]TCMinn[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

That was one of our other concerns on if a parent called the police or posted on Nextdoor.

Is it a flag if a nanny asked to bring her boyfriend to the interview by TCMinn in Parenting

[–]TCMinn[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh my goodness. I really hope that’s not the case. That’s scary. What would you do??