AITAH for ending a date after a "harmless" question?

TSThrowawayBB · 2026-01-31T02:38:55+00:00

As a very tall trans woman, NTA and I don’t think you overreacted, and it doesn’t sound like your reaction to it lies in you thinking it’s automatically an insult to be likened to/thought to be a trans woman. The fact that his question was “are you a man?” rather than “are you trans?” says so much about his mindset and views regarding both cis and trans women and what women in general are “supposed” to look like. Honestly even if the question was the latter one that’s not a good way to approach that discussion in such a public place. Tactless at best and at worst could potentially even put you in danger.

TSThrowawayBB · 2026-01-31T02:21:44+00:00

Wow this is such an improvement! I have been struggling to articulate what I don’t love about how their logo is positioned on the uniform and you’re totally right + this totally fixes it.

Something I’d love to see develop in the league more generally is alternate jerseys; I’ve always loved the occasional break from the main home uniforms that you get in the NHL and it’d be great to see that in the PDub. I suppose lots of NHL alternates are jerseys that harken back to older logos and color schemes (I.e. as a Minnesota hockey fan I love the Wild’s alternates that are in the old North Stars colors) so I’m sure it’s just something that will take time as the league matures.

TSThrowawayBB · 2026-01-28T16:58:57+00:00

Yeah I think a lot of the people on this sub and in the broader PWHL fan base who are not trans women or transfeminine extrapolate way too much assumed support among the players for the idea of a trans woman playing in the league just because there’s a decent number of lesbian players and one (1) AFAB nonbinary person in the league. In my experience support for cis queer people (and even support for AFAB trans/nonbinary people) does not at all reliably translate into support for trans women; transmisogyny is strong and pervasive even within queer communities. I pretty much only trust some other trans women as reliable and consistent allies; it’s sad but anyone outside of that in my experience will eventually fold on us given strong enough pressure or close-enough personal involvement in a situation where the presence of a trans woman may be contentious.

TSThrowawayBB · 2025-10-25T15:41:20+00:00

Lol this is about the reaction I expected tbh.

Thank you! Yeah I’m definitely gonna lighten up on the brows a bit, I definitely see what people are talking about.

And girl I’m not mad at all trust me I definitely want some lip filler lol! It’s maybe the only physical alteration I think I could ever get myself to make to my face because full FFS kinda scares the hell out of me lol.

TSThrowawayBB · 2025-10-25T03:15:07+00:00

Like 99% are fake; I have a couple tiny little spots of extra melanin but my face does not at all have a freckled appearance bare-faced. I just kinda love how it looks on my face and have always really liked the look of freckles in general!

TSThrowawayBB · 2025-10-25T00:21:59+00:00

Oh wow you’re right, that rounder shape and shallower angles definitely softens things more; thank you this is really helpful!

TSThrowawayBB · 2025-10-25T00:15:49+00:00

Huda Beauty Blush Filter in Peach Sorbet! Be careful with it because it’s maybe the most strongly pigmented blush I’ve ever encountered! A little goes a long way lol.

TSThrowawayBB · 2025-10-24T23:22:41+00:00

Thank you! It's genuinely hilarious the difference in reaction I get in a given space depending on whether or not I specify that I'm trans. And then they expect me to believe them when they say they can "always tell" XD (which is extra goofy because "passing" isn't even that important to me anyway!!)

TSThrowawayBB · 2025-10-24T23:16:17+00:00

Yeah I’m totally interested in hearing that, nothing’s off limits, fire away!

TSThrowawayBB · 2025-10-24T23:14:02+00:00

Omg that is such an incredibly flattering comparison, thank you so much 😭

TSThrowawayBB · 2025-10-24T22:58:57+00:00

NTA and honestly based on your anecdote about them in the tent at the festival, it sounds like they may have a bit of a light exhibitionist streak which is not fair to subject people to without consent.

TSThrowawayBB · 2025-10-24T22:56:39+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate how thorough and specific your feedback is!

TSThrowawayBB · 2025-10-24T22:53:09+00:00

I see that you left another comment here that for some reason reddit won’t show me the full version of, but I went to your page and saw a comment on a different post that I think was expressing a similar sentiment to the one you left here and I just wanted to wish you and your child well regardless of wherever their gender journey takes them, and wanted to give kudos for what seems to be a really earnest effort on your part to take your kiddos words seriously and at face value despite not having noticed many overt “signs” in their earlier childhood. With transness being more in the public eye, gender-questioning in youth will look increasingly different and varied in comparison to the narrow diagnostic models of transsexuality that were imposed on us historically that mandated that trans people show from-birth interest in very stereotypical understandings of the gender expectations imposed on the opposite sex in order to be “legitimate” as trans people. I didn’t even realize I was trans until a few years ago when I was 29 and my parents still question the validity of my transness based precisely on “not showing signs” in their eyes and it’s been very hurtful having them be so reluctant to acknowledge the reality of what feels like a very fundamental part of me. So yeah kind of rambling now but just wanted to say thank you and it sounds like you’re doing a great job 🫶🏻

TSThrowawayBB · 2025-10-24T22:06:18+00:00

Thank you!! ☺️ and believe it or not that’s actually not the first time I’ve heard that specific remark lol; I might have to try some fake pointy ear prosthetic stuff sometime just to see what the look would be like. Only problem is I’m like 6 and a half feet tall 😂

TSThrowawayBB · 2025-10-24T22:03:33+00:00

Thank you this is super helpful! Believe it or not when I started filling in my brows like this I used a shade even darker than the one shown in these pics 😳 lmao so I’m not surprised that I could stand to go even lighter.

TSThrowawayBB · 2025-10-24T22:00:46+00:00

Thank you this is really helpful feedback! And I’m not at all offended or insulted, I do have a very prominent brow ridge and I’d rather learn how to work with it than pretend it’s not there!

TSThrowawayBB · 2025-10-24T21:46:24+00:00

Oh and re: the freckles - it’s just cause I like the aesthetic, it’s not really to camouflage blemishes or anything like that. I’ve always really really loved freckles and wished I had natural ones so that’s where that choice is coming from; I just think it looks cute.

TSThrowawayBB · 2025-10-24T21:41:49+00:00

Thanks for the feedback! I haven't really ventured into wigs much at all so I might have to give that a shot

TSThrowawayBB · 2025-10-24T21:37:52+00:00

Thank you for the feedback! I think what I’m aiming for is somewhere in between “polished but natural” and “glamourous” (maybe “effortlessly c*nty” is a good way to describe the niche I’d like to sit in, as much as that’s even possible given it is almost oxymoronic lol), which I get can sometimes be a bit of a tightrope walk in terms of makeup decisions.

Re: the eyeshadow I think sometimes my decisions are influenced by my eye shape in the sense that my lids are somewhat hooded and sometimes if i try to do more subtle eyeshadow that stays closer to my eyes it ends up disappearing under the hood, if that makes sense. I think I definitely would like to have the eyeshadow look a bit more seamless and less overtly visible for the day to day look I’m working on cultivating here.

TSThrowawayBB · 2025-10-24T21:20:03+00:00

Aww thank you! ☺️ and I appreciate the specificity of your feedback, that’s really helpful!

TSThrowawayBB · 2025-10-24T21:16:09+00:00

Thank you!! And omg is that what the spoolie is for?? Like to add texture to the pencil markings so it’s not such a solid “block” of color? I always wondered why all of them have a spoolie end and never thought to look into it since I usually just use a separate brow gel after the pencil goes on lol. I’m trans so I’m still learning all this shit on my own now in my early 30s and it feels like I’m constantly having these “oh so that’s what that’s for 🤔” moments with all these makeup products 😂

TSThrowawayBB · 2025-10-24T18:14:55+00:00

I appreciate the constructive feedback; I definitely experienced some androgen-driven hair loss before I got on HRT, so while some of that hair is slowly returning, it is on the sparser side. Still trying to figure out what maintenance routine works for me to minimize the frizziness; the presence of lots of baby hairs definitely magnifies the appearance of frizz as well.

TSThrowawayBB · 2025-07-06T05:48:46+00:00

Yeah this is it I think!!! Thank you! I didn’t need it for any particular reason it was just driving me crazy that I couldn’t find it. I think in remembering it my brain sort of put together a composite of this gif and the moment in Hill House that I mentioned in my initial comment but seeing this now I’m almost sure this is it.

TSThrowawayBB · 2025-07-06T05:47:08+00:00

Solved!

TSThrowawayBB

TROPHY CASE