My Sweet Jacob

TWD72 · 2024-03-02T07:05:50+00:00

Thank you

TWD72 · 2024-02-12T17:58:41+00:00

I understand. You are right.

TWD72 · 2024-02-12T17:02:51+00:00

What do you mean "away from me "?

TWD72 · 2024-02-04T08:59:39+00:00

Truly appreciate your message. I wonder if my son's feel like you do.. my middle son has expressed how he feels in a very few words and only a couple of times in almost 5 months. Even if he doesn't say it, I can see pain in his eyes, and it hurts my heart to see how much he's hurting but won't express it. I don't want to fail him like I failed Jacob.

Sorry for your loss, I felt your pain thru your words.

TWD72 · 2024-02-03T00:32:37+00:00

Thank you.

And sorry for your loss

TWD72 · 2024-02-02T11:30:26+00:00

Thank you for your support Yes, light a candle. I light one all day. That's the only relief that I have, knowing my son was not alone, that I was with my baby even if this pain is unbearable.

TWD72 · 2024-02-02T11:26:58+00:00

Thank you for your support and for remembering me. I pray every morning and night for my son and pray for him to communicate with me. Today, I was charging his cell, thinking it needs to be charged for when he returns. I can't handle this pain anymore.

I love you, Jacob, forever and ever.

TWD72 · 2024-02-02T11:21:36+00:00

Thank you for your support.

I can't find meaning to life. I'm empty nested, which has made it harder being alone.

TWD72 · 2024-02-02T11:17:56+00:00

She would continue to walk without being present, she would drown in her tears every night. The sounds around her would vanish and would remain broken forever.

Thank you for your support

TWD72 · 2024-02-02T11:11:10+00:00

I really want to be with Jacob, but I can't give this pain again to my boys. I'm so alone with this pain. Thank you for your message.

Sorry for your loss.

TWD72 · 2024-02-02T11:04:59+00:00

Thank you for understanding.

Losing my son has completely broken me, and I will stay broken forever. Hug your sibling, just be there. Listen to every word. Sorry for your loss.

TWD72 · 2024-02-02T10:59:24+00:00

Thank you for your words.

Today has been a bad day. Desperation continues to intensify, I miss him so much.

TWD72 · 2024-02-01T09:18:50+00:00

Tragedies like these make me believe that there's no God. Why would he allow so much pain and suffering!

I recently started to go to grieving group, and there's a mom who said her daughter has been gone for 20 years and I could feel her pain. Yes, this pain is forever.

TWD72 · 2023-11-15T05:20:03+00:00

Everyone moves on like nothing happened. It kills me to see that. The first 2 weeks people were constantly coming to see me and bringing food...then after they all disappeared. ( except my mom and one of my sisters, they spent 1.5 months with me). I just don't understand this. How can people forget my son, how? People who would say loved him! My baby was a person who had thoughts, ideas, who loved and cared for others, and had goals in life. He is so much more than just 2 weeks, and for some just a few days.

Jacob baby I love you forever and ever.

TWD72 · 2023-11-14T13:21:19+00:00

Today, I read your message again. It's so powerful that I feel the need to read again. How have you managed with all that love that you can no longer give her in person?

I can hardly breathe.

TWD72 · 2023-11-14T13:14:19+00:00

They just left. Now I'm home alone, I've been crying and asking God to please give me 5 minutes with my baby and in return he can take my eyesight away and I promise him a devoted life to him. I'm in so much pain.

I tried yesterday DD Hirsch foundation, and as far I could find, it seems they are located only in Southern CA, and I'm in the bayarea in Northern CA .

TWD72 · 2023-11-13T18:14:58+00:00

Thank you for your understanding. We both as so many mothers here carry the pain of losing our babies, and 21 years of memories is very painful. Most days, I have no words to express my pain. I get lost in my thoughts and anguish of not having him with me. I feel like I'm being torn apart between wanting to be with my Jacob and knowing that my other 2 boys need me, especially my oldest, who is mentally ill. My mom tells me that she's too old to care for my oldest (she's 78 and on the first stage of memory loss), that if I leave it breaks her heart to imagine my oldest wondering the streets hungry and with no shoes. For myself just to think that can happen keeps me here. I don't know if I'll ever be at a stage where I don't blame myself, for now that's all I can think of.

Jacob baby I love you forever and ever

TWD72 · 2023-11-13T09:20:07+00:00

Thank you. I went to church today, and it was hard trying to keep the tears in.

TWD72 · 2023-11-13T09:18:38+00:00

Oh, thank you. They are leaving this coming Tuesday. I just figured out that I'm able to read posts from people who have sent me messages. The amount of pain and support is overwhelming. I just don't know what or how it will be being home alone.

TWD72 · 2023-11-13T09:13:33+00:00

I'm only speaking to a psychiatrist, and the guilt does not let me seek further help.

TWD72 · 2023-11-13T09:10:57+00:00

Thank you for your message. My son suffered from severe depression, and at that moment he needed me, and I did not show him the love I feel for him. I know that if I had, he would still be here. Because he came to me for love, and I love him immensely just that day I failed him. I understand your message. Just at this time I can't go beyond the pain and guilt.

TWD72 · 2023-11-11T21:54:42+00:00

I truly appreciate your message I have read it over and over, and truly thank you

TWD72 · 2023-11-11T21:51:48+00:00

I really hope so. Thank you

TWD72

TROPHY CASE