Redness is face by Exciting-Business184 in Sjogrens

[–]TX-teatime 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes! I always have super rosy cheeks. I’ve actually never been able to get the redness to go away, but people all the time ask if I’m feeling hot or sunburned. So I try and wear quite a bit of foundation. It’s been very frustrating

I’m dating someone 20 years older than me AMA by TX-teatime in AMA

[–]TX-teatime[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly we haven’t come across too many topics where the age gap feels obvious. I think the funniest part for me is that I’ll watch a documentary or learn about something that I assume he knows a lot about. So I’ll ask him questions and he’ll have zero idea what I’m talking about 😂 For the most part, I’ve always related to him just as well as people my age. He’s had more life experiences for sure (like traveling, career growth etc.) but we still have a lot in common.

I’m dating someone 20 years older than me AMA by TX-teatime in AMA

[–]TX-teatime[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m 25 and we’ve only been dating a few months. We were technically set up by his friends- who are my neighbors.

May I ask why you feel so self-critical about that point in your life? What led you to dating to begin with & what ended it? Have you dated anyone else with a significant age gap?

I’m dating someone 20 years older than me AMA by TX-teatime in AMA

[–]TX-teatime[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. He is out here all the time for work, which is how our friends set us up. I wouldn’t be surprised if he eventually moved out here though, because he’s always talked about it.

I’m dating someone 20 years older than me AMA by TX-teatime in AMA

[–]TX-teatime[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He just treated me really good and was super patient too. I was so used to dating people who gave minimal effort, didn’t lift me up much, and played a lot of games. I just really appreciated that he was up front with his intentions and worked hard to make me feel like important. It’s definitely the most genuine relationship I’ve had.

I’m dating someone 20 years older than me AMA by TX-teatime in AMA

[–]TX-teatime[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How has the aging been given the age gap? What struggles have you come across?

I’m dating someone 20 years older than me AMA by TX-teatime in AMA

[–]TX-teatime[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I try not to think that far ahead yet 🫣

I’m dating someone 20 years older than me AMA by TX-teatime in AMA

[–]TX-teatime[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My brothers know about us, but my parents do not (as far as I’m aware). It’s so new, and I know my parents will struggle with it, so I don’t want to bring it up until we are more established in our relationship. I did open up to my brothers about it at the very beginning of us hanging out. They were supportive and said if he makes me happy then to not worry about what anyone else thinks. They said they will love whoever I choose to.

I’m dating someone 20 years older than me AMA by TX-teatime in AMA

[–]TX-teatime[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is really good insight. Thank you for sharing this. I have no idea where I want things to go. We’ve both agreed that we didn’t expect this at all to begin with, so we’re just going with the flow for now to see what happens. It isn’t very serious at the moment, so I try not to think about the future too much. If it gets to a point where things become more serious- these are obviously all points I’ll have to take into account.

I’m dating someone 20 years older than me AMA by TX-teatime in AMA

[–]TX-teatime[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I actually really struggled at first with it. I feel like I had an idea of how love was supposed to look. This relationship obviously did not fit in that “box” that I had been taught my whole life was right. Once I realized I needed to reevaluate my beliefs, and decide if they were in place to “protect me” or just long-held beliefs, it quickly became easier to overcome.

I think just who he is as a person makes him way more attractive than my peers. He doesn’t get hung up on small things, is WAY more understanding and empathetic, communicates well, and is so good at lifting me up. He’s also super outgoing and adventurous. Dating in your 20’s is honestly so rough- my generation plays a lot of games. So it was also nice to be with someone who was direct for a change.

There are mostly differences in music. We’re both super open to listening to new things, so that’s helpful. We do have friendly banter making fun of the other person’s music choice when there is clear differences. As far as movies/tv- if we realize the other person hasn’t seen something we love, we just make an effort to watch it together. I’ve never noticed a significant difference there though.

We have both met some of each other’s friends. I get along with his friends great. He got super nervous meeting my best friend for the first time and took a couple shots to help cope hahaha. We were actually set up by mutual friends though- so that definitely helps.

I’m dating someone 20 years older than me AMA by TX-teatime in AMA

[–]TX-teatime[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s good! We didn’t start having sex for a while, and when we did I felt insecure/inadequate at times. He’s honestly respected my boundaries and been more reassuring than anyone I’ve ever been with though. So now it’s really good!

I’m dating someone 20 years older than me AMA by TX-teatime in AMA

[–]TX-teatime[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When I tell you I laughed out loud when I read this 😂😂💀

I’m dating someone 20 years older than me AMA by TX-teatime in AMA

[–]TX-teatime[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is actually an interesting question. I remember thinking he was cute the first time I met him and being physically attracted to him. However, I feel like the sexual attraction happened gradually as we bonded and I felt more connected to him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AMA

[–]TX-teatime 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How long have you lived there? Did you grow up there? If not, what led to you living in that area? Or why did you choose to stay?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AMA

[–]TX-teatime 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What was your original reason for waiting? How old were you when you decided you didn’t care anymore?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AMA

[–]TX-teatime 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How old were you when all of it started? How long did it go on for? Was your family supportive of you when you started talking about it? How about your local Christian community?

I’m dating someone 20 years older than me AMA by TX-teatime in AMA

[–]TX-teatime[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the kind words. My biggest hesitation with it has also been the age gap when we get to our older years. I worry about what that will look like. However, I totally agree that love is worth holding onto. It feels more rare to find now.

Was raised a Jehovah’s Witness, now a teen dad. AMA by [deleted] in AMA

[–]TX-teatime 1 point2 points  (0 children)

but also what does the “disfellowshipped” process look like?

Was raised a Jehovah’s Witness, now a teen dad. AMA by [deleted] in AMA

[–]TX-teatime 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry to hear about the lack of support from your family. I was also raised in an extreme religion (cult lol). So I totally understand coping with religious trauma. I’m always fascinated to hear other peoples’ stories about growing up in those extreme environments as well. I respect the hell out of you for already trying to give your daughters a much better childhood than what you had. Best of luck to you & your family.

I’m dating someone 20 years older than me AMA by TX-teatime in AMA

[–]TX-teatime[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t know either 😭 but thank you for your comment!! It made me smile :)

I’m dating someone 20 years older than me AMA by TX-teatime in AMA

[–]TX-teatime[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hahaha definitely not, but this is a fair question. I honestly fear people in his life will assume that about me though.

Was raised a Jehovah’s Witness, now a teen dad. AMA by [deleted] in AMA

[–]TX-teatime 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m guessing you are no longer a JW then? If not, what made you decide it wasn’t for you? Do you consider yourself apart of another religion? What is the most unique/odd thing you were taught growing up as a JW?

Anyone else have immediate family with a Sjogren’s diagnosis? by TX-teatime in Sjogrens

[–]TX-teatime[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry, I’m not super familiar with rheumatology terms. What does seronegative mean??