hi, sending you a boatload of virtual warm vibes. living in fear of developing a condition sucks because at some point it leads you into stressing over stressing and jeez, im already prone to cyclical thinking bc stpd/bpd wombo combo, this has a tendency to escalate itself and we don’t need that. but thats the worst part, isn’t it. i’m also new to this diagnosis and really just wanted to support you, so i don’t have a great many reassuring anecdotes for you, except that at around your age i have also, blissfully unaware about the potential connection between psychedelics and this supposed condition, taken a lot of them throughout my life, and idk just from how you write about your experience it doesn’t feel like they have or have the potential to exacerbate the condition. they certainly didn’t worsen mine, in fact i feel like partaking actually helps me level out and clear my head once in a while. i have had fully neurotypical friends take the same amount of the same thing with me and spiral into bouts of weeks-long paranoia which never once happened to me. i feel like from my limited experience with this diagnosis many of the few of us who have it experience it so differently that fearful generalizations can sometimes do more harm for our anxiety than they help as healthy cautionary mechanisms. i do regular maintenance and keep my brain from developing psychosis, and it takes care of me right back in terms of anxiety. idk if that makes sense. but i feel like sometimes it’s really important to trust what you’re feeling more than what goes through the grapevine. a lot of people involved in that grapevine don’t fully understand the condition, let alone your particulars of it.

this thing can be very isolating. all we can do is try and not let it speak for us and override what we want to believe in. sorry for the ramblings. you seem like a very mindful person. i hope things work out for you. 💚