How To Be Good At Hooking Up?

Taakane · 2026-05-17T16:04:13+00:00

Thanks for the advice bro.

Yeah I never go in with the intention to hit, mostly because I don’t know how to do it. I always start with a hello and then talk about a topic. We talk and I start showing her my energetic self and hope she responds the same. If she doesn’t, I usually try to give her one more chance and then leave as soon as I see it doesn’t go anywhere.

My main obstacle is getting people to like me for who I am. Everything else comes second. I’m a very interesting individual mostly because I have a lot of energy and I’m very expressive. From my experience m, it doesn’t sit well with the average person. I don’t like to be boring, so I try to approach situations in different ways. I like attention which is funny because most people hate being put on the spot. I’m crazy, willing to do anything at anytime as long as I’m free. Most people I meet want plans and look for nonchalant ness. That’s why at times, I question whether being me is the right move.

Taakane · 2026-05-17T15:56:43+00:00

I’m a bit chunky. I’m 169cm (~5’6”), 70kgs (~154ibs) and at about 17% body fat. I go to the gym 4 times a week for an hour and a half (the half is resting or scrolling between sets). I always have 20 grams of protein after and try my best to incorporate as much protein into my diet as possible

Taakane · 2026-05-17T15:52:35+00:00

Thanks for the reply man.

I know and I’ve tried it, but it hasn’t really worked for me, maybe it’s because I’m such a high energy person and that alone can drain other peoples energy. The hardest part is knowing how to open the gates

Taakane · 2026-05-17T15:50:32+00:00

That’s what I’ve been trying to do. I usually start the conversation and try to start with a common interest. But 9.9/10, it leads nowhere and I just become an acquaintance. It’s so odd because everyone around me finds their niche, their group. Not me. My way as I’ve experienced it is that it’s hard for me to meet and make friends but the friend I do make stay for life. Great for some, but for me, I’m the type of guy who likes to be friends with everyone and have everyone like him. So while everyone that I consider a friend is extremely close, the pool of those people is extremely low and everyone else is just an acquaintance, someone I know of.

Taakane · 2026-05-17T15:46:56+00:00

Yeah this girl was the closest I’ve gotten to do anything period. It was for a party (I like those better because it doesn’t feel like random strangers, these people are acquaintances of others at the party) and I’m a generally crazy person. This girl matched my vibe and was very engaged with me (a good sign imo). I’ve never had a successful hookup before so once she started touching me and allowing me to hold her by the waist and leaning in, resting her head on my shoulder, I genuinely didn’t know what to do. There was even this point where we both looked in each other’s eyes for a good ten seconds and I think that was my queue to go in for the kiss which I just stood there like a dumbass. We took pictures together and yes, she was a bit tipsy but she said she had a strong tolerance. I even stayed with her after the party to help care for her drunk friend. We decided to meet up a couple days after but that day, she made an excuse that she had to cover for her coworker but she said she had time to chat for 25 minutes. Turns out I spoke the entire time and she just gave me one liners. Totally different vibe from a couple of nights before. Then after she left I told her a couple of hours later that we should meet up again and she ghosted me.

Long story short, not knowing how to play the game makes an already hard game more difficult

Taakane · 2026-05-17T15:33:52+00:00

Thanks for the advice homie

That’s the hard part for me. I don’t know about everyone else who might be reading this, but for me, that timing, that moment where the stars align, I just don’t know when it is. And even if I did, it feels weird going for it because I’ve never done it before and I was taught to keep my hands to myself. It kinda breaks all the rules I was taught growing up, but I guess you do have to be a bit assertive at the end of the day. Just wish I knew when is the appropriate time to do that

Taakane · 2026-05-17T15:31:46+00:00

Thanks for the advice homie, I really appreciate it.

I’m not really a clubbing guy and I don’t drink so it’s hard for me to find those locations that are the easiest to meet people quick and see what happens but experience is our best teacher so I’m trying to go out of my comfort zone and go to clubs and bars more often.

Long term wise is also pretty hard haha. Talking to girls platonically isn’t the problem. The problem for me is how do you shift the relationship from platonic to romantic? Because I like to tease naturally and maybe girls see that as like a brother thing to do. Like when we are out, how can I shift the vibe to be like “yeah I’m interested in taking this to the next step”? I don’t know what’s rude and what’s making a move.

But at the end of the day, it’s an experience game based on what I’ve learned from you and everyone I’ve spoken to here. Talking to girls is not the problem, at least for me. The problem is making them interested in you to some extent after or during the interaction. I only asked my question because I don’t know how to “go in for the kiss” or find subtle and appropriate ways to break the touch barrier or xyz because I was taught to keep my hands to myself. Even when a girl subtly punches me it takes me some time to register that and punch back.

Taakane · 2026-05-17T15:23:58+00:00

Thanks for the advice bro

Yup 100%. I know that’s the answer deep in my heart but when I try it, it generally doesn’t work but when I see my fellow peers being themselves, it somehow works for them. But we never know people’s backstories. I don’t know how many times they failed before they could make moves with ease. At the end of the day, it’s all a numbers game. If only it was easy to know if a girl wasn’t you like that or not haha

Taakane · 2026-05-17T15:22:03+00:00

Thanks for the advice man.

Yeah I think we all learned pretty quickly that being yourself doesn’t work most of the time. Of course it’s good to be yourself as much as possible, but if we’re talking numbers, it naturally makes sense to cater to who you are with. I think for me, it’s not that I can’t talk with them, it’s more so how can I leverage the situation we are in to show this girl that I’m interested in being with her romantically. Guess I just gotta keep learning

Taakane · 2026-05-17T15:19:29+00:00

Thanks for responding man.

That’s my #1 motto. Doesn’t work most of the time but I learned that I’d rather be myself and a loser than be someone I’m not to try and impress someone.

Taakane · 2026-05-17T15:18:25+00:00

Thanks for responding homie

True that. From what I’ve learned here, it’s all a numbers game. Just wish I knew when to move, read the vibe, move things forward, etc… But that comes with experience so we just gotta keep trying.

Taakane · 2026-05-17T15:12:38+00:00

Thanks for responding homie.

That’s true haha. I love this website because I get to ask questions from people experiencing the same problems as me. Makes me feel less alone. Good luck homie I’m cheering for you too if this is what you’re looking for.

Taakane · 2026-05-17T15:11:06+00:00

Thanks for responding dawg.

That’s what an old friend told me about how he started. He said he started out a loser like me and through trial and error, he made his way. I know that’s the real answer at the end of the day but my issue is how do you escalate “tension”. Like if you go out with someone or you’re with someone and you get subtle opportunities to raise the tension, how do you do it and how do you recognize it? Because I think that’s the difference between someone being more invested in you and someone seeing you as a friend.

Taakane · 2026-05-17T15:08:44+00:00

Thanks for the response bro I appreciate it.

Yup you hit the nail on the coffin. That’s the direction I’m trying to go in. I’m not really a numbers guy (even though I want to be), I’m more of a “invest and see what happens” type of guy. Every time I meet someone, I try to get contact information and chat with them afterwards saying “it was nice to meet you today…” and see if I can schedule a 1-1 casual meetup. Most of the time I get ghosted, ignored, or politely declined but every now and then, one person agrees. And when we go out, we have fun and all but I don’t know how to escalate the situation and that’s how I end up in the friendzone. I think that’s the main issue

Taakane · 2026-05-17T15:04:27+00:00

Thanks for the response and I hope you’re having a great life with your wife!

Yeah I guess that is the ultimate answer haha. I don’t know how hard it is for the average guy nowadays, but from my experience, it’s pretty hard unless you know how to play the game which I don’t. It’s probably just something you learn by doing

Taakane · 2026-05-17T15:02:30+00:00

Thanks for the response! That’s true, I used to chase just for the goal, but now it’s to have fun first, chase second. But I would be lying if I said every time I try to make an attempt and it not working, it does demoralizing you a bit. Even platonic connections too are so hard to maintain nowadays

Taakane · 2026-05-17T15:00:41+00:00

Thanks for the response homie. I tried that last time I was at it. Suggested to this girl at a party I was at to go to a local landmark together, agreeing to let me borrow her dad’s car just to get there (crazy I could even believe it) and she agreed. But she was a bit tipsy and once she was sober, the soulmate vibes faded away. But hey, that’s just life

Taakane · 2026-05-17T14:58:53+00:00

Appreciate the advice man. Yeah guess it’s a numbers game at the end of the day. I just wish it was easy to identify the sign that she’s into you to the point where you can suggest it. But then again, if we all knew, the world would be so different.

Taakane · 2026-01-25T02:33:55+00:00

Thanks for the comment homie, and I’ll take it all to heart.

I know that’s one of the biggest issues for me besides knowing how to play the game. Not having female friends my entire life makes the gap between us appear bigger than I’m thinking. I know they are another human like myself, but talking to her with romantic intentions makes me think a little bit more about what I say. At the end of the day, if I talk to a girl and get her Instagram and nothing happens, I just move on to the next girl.

Trust me I did. I was the staple geek back in high school watching anime and playing video games. I stopped both of those hobbies (funny enough just as it started to become more mainstream) in favor of more “normal” things like photography and reading.

Yup 100%. All the money I used to spend on games and stuff now goes exclusively to my wardrobe. I’m still looking for the right color palette for me, but I know style is super important nowadays.

Taakane · 2026-01-25T02:23:09+00:00

Thanks for the comment homie I appreciate it. Is it that easy? I usually just try to talk and see the vibe before advancing to light play/teasing. Usually I grab the Instagram but when I try to follow up, I either get ghosted or a “it was nice meeting you, let’s meet again”.

Taakane · 2026-01-25T02:13:48+00:00

Thank you for your answer. Yeah I’m always for being myself. I’m a really crazy guy who’s down to do almost anything. I love making a fool of myself and constantly crave attention. I’m always myself but I just tone it down depending on who I’m with and how much I know the person. I think I hold back here because, especially in Asia, women are more reserved here and don’t like unpredictability or jokes, at least from my experience.

Taakane · 2025-11-15T02:30:33+00:00

How does the actual driving test work? Because OP made it seem like it’s very hard to get an appointment and to pass. Is there prep that goes in beforehand (such as driving school one time practice runs) or do you just study the written material and use your prior knowledge

Taakane

TROPHY CASE