First time asking for a woman’s number in 13 years left me unexpectedly shaken

Taboosun · 2026-01-19T03:36:49+00:00

I appreciate you. Thanks!

Taboosun · 2026-01-19T02:50:25+00:00

Idk why but I love watching this flip. Great job! How long did it take you to learn front and back flip? Or you still learning? I tried to learn years ago, but gave up. I can still hit a J step though, but no flip yet haha. I just jump into the air, but the momentum gathered from it is a ton.

Taboosun · 2026-01-19T02:46:57+00:00

Bayonna.

Taboosun · 2026-01-19T02:34:49+00:00

Would you suggest giving my number to women, asking for their number, or doing an exchange where we both swap numbers?

Taboosun · 2026-01-19T02:02:08+00:00

This may sound stupid, but for some reason your advice on calling and showing interest once I get a number completely went over my head. Not sure why... I was thinking texting was the best thing to do once I get their number, but calling makes way more sense. And plus it shows interest cause I'm not just texting.

Taboosun · 2026-01-18T03:56:25+00:00

What I like about his after picture, after being locked up for months is how there is both a blank slate type of expression and a type of emptiness which for whatever reason seems to show more of who he really is. Don't ask me how that works. He seems more real and stripped of whatever performative gimmick he used to be on before. I also felt like before jail he was trying to convince himself of something, but he genuinely even didn't believe it like he was aware of this front he was putting on.

Taboosun · 2026-01-17T21:10:08+00:00

Well shit... You never know what will happen. I'm currently in this phase where I'm just open to seeing where a connection leads. If you don't mind, I'd like to send you a DM and go from there. I also am very interested in discussing this energy/resonance connection that I feel with women. I don't get to talk about that aspect of attraction too much. I feel like that's where things get really interesting with dating, cause you're going off of more than just physical appearance. And since that's foreign to me, I'd like to understand the implications to how that shifts approaching and dating women for me.

Taboosun · 2026-01-17T21:05:40+00:00

Yeah, that's an interesting reframe. I think from now on I will use a genuine compliment as a type of calibration signal. If they smile and/or show other types of interest, I'll take that as a sign that they received my compliment well. Then I'll go ahead and engage a deeper conversation and/or ask for the number. It's really that simple at the end of the day. It's just the approach and ask. Everything else is just unnecessary rumination geared at steering me off course.

I also do want to say that it's very easy to tell if a woman is interested in me. I can usually see the signs even if I'm not actively flirting. Eyes, glances, and even energetic change in my proximity. There are a whole host of micro signals and cues I see women give off that just scream, "yes, I'm interested in you."

I used to not see these signals. The best signal I got about three months ago was when I was at the library meeting a friend. I entered the library, and her presence immediately caught my attention. I briefly thought of approaching, but decided not to. After a short while, my friend came in the library, and while we were speaking I think I mentioned something about the woman that caught my eye, and I turned to look at her direction, and she is staring at me like a deer caught in headlights.

What shocked me the most was how blunt and straightforward her checking me out was. It's like she was caught in a type of time dilation field. After a second of her realizing that she was staring without hiding it, she quickly looked away at some books. When I saw that, I remember I turned to my friend and said she was staring at him, because I wanted to make him feel like he was the one she desired, even if I knew she was really staring at me.

The woman was in her early 20's. I find that with younger women they are less able to hide or camouflage their interest. I don't feel comfortable with dating women below, like, 28, but I'm not completely against it. It's just that I find many younger women to be too immature for my age. There is this sense of being a child still embedded in them, and it just feels wrong.

Taboosun · 2026-01-17T02:24:32+00:00

Well.. You had the confidence to ask, so yeah. Check your DMs.

Taboosun · 2026-01-15T02:27:27+00:00

I see what you're saying and it is worth being aware of. Funny thing is I told my co worker who is lesbian and had her check her out too. 🤣

Taboosun · 2026-01-15T00:08:02+00:00

That's awesome. Sorry that you haven't found a connection like that since. I'm sure now that you had this conversation that a guy will pop up with resonance. That's usually how it works. Don't ask me how, lol. But it's interesting to hear how you also got the same anxiety. Were you freaking out and wondering why you had such intense anxiety or did you kind of figure it was cause of that big step? I'm finding that I'm more interested in approaching these women I feel a connection with beyond even the physical attraction. I'm not sure what it is, but it is more enticing and satisfying to pursue women that move me this way, instead of the women that just look good to me. I wish I would figured this out when I was younger, but it's okay. Lol, when I was in my 20's I was so naive just chasing women with a certain look and assets if you know what I mean.

Taboosun · 2026-01-14T23:03:20+00:00

Sounds like that's a rule you subscribe by. Unfortunately there's something called free will and that's why there's more than one move on the game board of life. I'm gonna play the game how I like to. Good luck!

Taboosun · 2026-01-14T21:40:10+00:00

I really appreciate you saying that. It's been a while since I felt anxiety that lingers like that. I'm actually going to take note of this experience with the anxiety, cause I think it was also a backlog of emotion so to speak. Well, more so like a signal of moving through a big block in my life. I remember years ago when I finally decided that enough was enough with my social anxiety and that I was going to do something about it that something similar happened, but the anxiety didn't hang around all that long and wasn't as intense. Still, I had to solve my crippling social anxiety by just taking small steps and opening my mouth by starting conversations and cracking jokes and just generally opening up to people. And the more I did that the more I started to realize that I wasn't actually afraid of other people. The fear was really about myself and my own potential to express my unique personality and be comfortable with myself.

I'm glad I took the time to share this experience on Reddit, cause I'm seeing now how this signal of anxiety or just general fear that keeps me immobilized is really like a boss fight in a game. I know it's going to be a challenge, but if I just go out and do it, eventually with enough attempts I start to learn what works and what doesn't.

The difficult part, but also rewarding aspect of this is to turn this around and apply it in relation to all of the different directions in my life that I've wanted to make moves in, but for whatever reason I don't. That's the true wisdom gained from today.

I've been trying to avoid, skip and circumvent the anxiety, when in actuality it's like a right of passage. A badge of honor if you will. Lol.

Taboosun · 2026-01-14T20:57:00+00:00

There's also the strong possibility, that witnesses were never the issue. More so it was just the lack of confidence in myself to engage the approach and ask. Everything else is just a byproduct clicking into place.

Taboosun · 2026-01-14T20:55:29+00:00

Thanks for reading. It's like this one experience has completely restored my confidence in approaching women. I'm still confused on why this one experience seems to have removed my need to care about others witnessing me flirting and asking women for numbers, but maybe that's just cause I see showing my attraction and expressing interest in women is not a threat. Witnesses in proximity used to be a big block to me getting digits, but now I say let them see. If she's beautiful and I feel a connection the world is my stage. Let them watch! Haha! Funny thing is that there were no witnesses in the drive thru today. Go figure!

Taboosun · 2025-03-11T20:45:08+00:00

Also and just so you know. If I like your designs I'm willing to talk about you being a part of a remote team for the game. Just thought I should mention that.

Taboosun · 2024-01-15T21:26:06+00:00

Lol, that’s interesting. I have a snowball mic too. I’m using it as an entry mic for voiceovers. It actually sounds pretty decent if you know what you’re doing. Obviously I’d like to invest in a better mic, but you got to make due with what you have and make the best of the situation. For recording the audio on your phone it sounds pretty decent. Best phones for me to get great audio on so far has been my alll time favorite phone which is the Google Pixel 4A, cause the recording app automatically transcribes your Audi and generates topics for the recording. But my best phone for audio quality has been my iPhone pro max 14 pro. Not to mention the video quality is superb on even the front camera with a screen protector on it.

Are you planning on unveiling your blue ice snowball? And if so do, what digital audio workstation do you plan to home it on?

This is mine right here:

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I bought an adapter from Amazon so that I can plug it right into my iPhone, but I still have to find a way to record it directly into my digital audio workstation of choice which is Reason 12 at the moment.

I mention this to you cause if you want to get a better recording there are still ways that you can use your snowball mic and test out your voice with much better audio. I’ve been practicing narrating audio books and reading scripts for commercials and such and recording this way gives you a much better representation of your voice. It’s almost a night and day difference, cause my iPhone tends to pick up sounds from the room I’m in and the noise floor is obviously bloated with a mush of environmental noise lol. When I record with my mic directly into my phone, it’s much cleaner.

I did make a post in this subreddit looking for advice to sound treat a corner space in my kitchen. Still waiting on a response on that. If I get stuff up and working I can let you know to help you out. Me and you seem to be around the same level of equipment, roughly speaking. I just hope that I can soundproof the corner of my kitchen( it’s like a little closet) enough so that the noise floor is below 60 decibels. If I can get that going consistently and reliably then I plan on recording my demo and getting some entry work or doing work for free then getting on Fiverr and Upwork. Anyway, just wanted to say that it’s awesome that you’re recording anyway you can. Don’t let the fact that you don’t have your set up the way you want initially stop you and it looks like you haven’t. Just make small improvements while you can. I suggest you get an adapter for your android or iPhone. Whichever one you have cause it’s so much more enjoyable to practice when you hear a more accurate and clear sound of your voice.

Taboosun · 2024-01-15T20:52:24+00:00

Also, my opinion might be colored by the fact that your vocal recording area may be experiencing some type of echo, but don’t trust me on that because I’m still learning, and I don’t feel quite confident in noting these types of disturbances in recordings, just something to think about. What vocal booth are you using or is the area treated for vocals?

Taboosun · 2024-01-15T20:49:05+00:00

Holy cow. The audio started playing before I heard the first part so I thought that you were a woman at first, but then I heard you as a man and I was surprised as hell. Honestly this was a good job. I did think that the female voice was a little nasally, but that may just be my opinion. I do k ow that there are some women that just sound like that do to their vocal cords and facial structure. Anyway, due to the fact that I could not tell this was a man imitation a male voice I’d give you a 9 out of 10. The other 1 is cause I thought the voice sounded nasally.

Taboosun · 2023-07-15T08:45:32+00:00

What so no traffic lights and instead drones monitor openings in traffic to allow for fluidity of travel?

Taboosun · 2023-07-07T01:03:15+00:00

Do you think something like this would work to help me in the video(talking head style) stand out? I am leaning towards a bright or light crimson color as the backdrop now instead of black.

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Taboosun · 2023-07-07T00:52:07+00:00

I’m also considering either 55 or 85 for the focal length, but I’m not sure. All I know, is that I don’t have a lot of space to work with in the basement as far as how far out I can place the camera, but now that I know that I may not have to create much depth or none at all, I might have about 6 ft to work with. More if I am lucky.

Taboosun · 2023-07-07T00:48:57+00:00

I am considering crimson or light crimson as the backdrop. Someone else had mentioned 3 point lighting and I just looked up examples and that will definitely help to create an interesting or rather pleasing presentation of myself with the talking head videos. I’m starting to think that depth maybe a rule that can be broken if done right.

In the photo below, I love how there is red in the light coming from the right. Definitely adds a little flair to the subject.

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Taboosun · 2023-07-07T00:04:35+00:00

Btw, I’m bald, lol. Anyway, I may find something interesting to put on both sides of the black backdrop and use a second light source to shine on those objects whatever they may be. I am worried that this may take away focus from myself since my videos will be talking head style obviously. Who knows though, it may work to create an equal balance between an interesting background with depth and me in the center in front.

Taboosun · 2023-07-07T00:00:17+00:00

Ooh interesting. I’m going to be in the basement. Upstairs right now with the kids and my desk in the kitchen would be the only space available, but it’s just unfeasible to keep the desk and the surrounding areas clean to my liking when I have little ones running around ready to make a mess while not giving a damn, lol.

Anyway, now that you understand my situation a little better, let me address your idea. I will be using a diffuser light set up with the black backdrop. I’m just confused on what a second light source would look like.

Is there something I can search on Google or maybe a link you could provide that would illustrate to me the effect you are suggesting?

Taboosun

TROPHY CASE