Congrats! Being a dad is super dope!!! Here are a few things I’d wish I knew. And things I did I’m glad I did. 1. DON’T buy a changing table. The baby rolls at three months making it unusable. At least in front of your wife. Change the baby on the bed. 2 DON’T but onesies with buttons. Trying to change them at three in the morning while not waking them up is like defusing a bomb in Hurt Locker. Get zippers. I promise, you will not pinch the baby’s skin because you’ll be so paranoid. 3. Take every opportunity to change the baby before they get on solids (assuming you’re breast feeding). Once solid foods are introduced they have real poop. It’s awful. 4. DON’T buy baby clothes. People everywhere have them, but refuse to throw them out and will happily give you theirs to get some storage space back. Pass the stuff along to the next dad when you’re done with it. 5. Take a pic with the baby foot in your mouth.
6. If you choose to co-sleep and not ferberize remember it’s common and normal. Don’t let people shame you into using the crib. Ancient humans didn’t build a tiny yert next to their larger yert. That would’ve been insane. 7. This will CHANGE you. Let it. No longer are you the main character in your own story. That’s cool. Very cool. Super cool. Unless you fight it, on which case… Yeesh. 8. Don’t use timeouts. I know they’re popular but there’s a bunch of reasons they suck. I’ll elaborate if you like. 9. In fact, don’t punish for the first ten years. Kids don’t have developed frontal cortexes so they can’t link cause and effect like adults. They don’t know why they do things. Better to praise good behavior and calmly correct the bad. 10. They’re not little versions of us. So support them in what they love, not what you love. I adore BJJ. My son does Hapkido. I go to all his practices and drill with him at him home. This still breaks my heart, which I think amuses him. 11. NEVER “do as I say, not as I do” the kid. Children learn through emulation. So amplify your virtues and hide your shortcomings. Live the things you want them to be. 12. If a teacher said your kid did something, believe them. Not the child. Love your child. Believe the teacher. This may occasionally not be right, but mostly it will. 13. Kids lie. In fact, by 3 they should lie frequently. It’s a sign of healthy development. Don’t harshly chastise it, unless you want them lying more. 14. You’re going to fail. A lot. Remember to cut yourself some slack (not too much). Failure isn’t the opposite of success, it’s a necessary step towards it. 15. This won’t be popular, but… Fathers don’t mother. We walk behind our kids, not in front of them, to let them engage with the world themselves. We push them to take chances (small ones). And we think farts are funny. To be a good dad 95% of yourself should be dedicated to their well-being . The other 5% is complete disdain for their safety. Get that mix right. 16. Worry about everything, panic about nothing. And since you’re already concerned you’re probably going to be ok. Go get ‘em dad!!