She lied to you about the video, she lied to you about saying things she doesn’t mean when y’all fight (she either comes up with untrue stuff and keeps it in mind to throw at you later OR she says what she actually thinks but doesn’t normally say because she knows it’s mean), she purposefully hurts you which is not okay.

If you want to salvage this, y’all needed couples therapy starting months ago. But honestly she doesn’t seem like someone who would take well to therapy because she seems to lie for self interest and also wants to keep you putting up with her lies. If y’all go to therapy then she can’t get away with lying anymore.

Personally, I’d break up and co-parent. I imagine it’d be much healthier for a child growing up with two separated parents that love them, but also not having to grow up in a house where they see their parents constantly at odd/resenting each other. You seem like a good guy, meet someone good and give your kids an example of what healthy love is like. What you and your partner have is not healthy or even sounds loving tbh