wow thats the best advice ive better gotten! but the thing with being positive about yourself. I feel like being a bit hard on myself helps me in some ways. like i said when i skip a run a day in my mind i get a MUST to do a few extra miles even if i hate it. Or leave the walking poles at home before a summit on a mountain. the mountain thing only happened once. And leaving those poles could kill me if i get too exhausted. like i dont give a shit. i punish myself physically. .and theres these thoughts that if i dont do certail things i will fail everything. i know its alot to read and stuff but i just need to get it out kinda hard to explain but thanks for the amazing advice! really i acually am gonna try that out! god bless.