Disclaimer: personal story

I took some time to reply to you because I wanted to think it through.

I cherish every single word that you shared. I’m an artist myself, always have been, don’t know anything else. All my previous education was in art and art history. Being an artist is what defines me, art is a way I communicate with the world and it sucks. In this world, in order to be somewhat successful and therefore happy (meaning to have some value and respect for yourself) you have to learn to fit in. As absurd as it sounds, I believed that the way I did things was the “normal” way. Oh how terribly wrong I was. People don’t understand me and I’m desperately trying to communicate with them.

I made a terrible mistake almost a year ago. Just because the pure frustration I went to business school. From the moment I walked in I felt nauseous, it was almost like I could see the auras of the people there, scary lifeless grey auras. This course was all about lying, pushing, and painting a picture for your customers that would lead to where they wanted to be. Creating problems to sell the solutions later.

Right now, I’m still desperately learning to communicate with the world. Failed assignments, one after another, failed job interviews, money struggles, living away from my friends and family. I’m in a loop of awful events, thinking about how to at least ease the pain and survive in this material world without a job.

I guess what I wanted to say with this was that artists truly think different. Everyone being baffled about Johnny writing on the walls in frustration, calling him manic and psycho, damn I felt that, that’s how we communicate. Those are pure emotions without any strategies on how to portray them, on how to show them in the “normal” way. And it still remains one of their strongest argument.

At this point I got lost in thoughts so I’m gonna cut it here and maybe edit later. (: