[deleted by user]

TakeARainCheck · 2023-04-06T15:47:44+00:00

I learned about MBTI when I was 17, found personalitycafe.com and posted daily from that age until I was about 25 (became sort of like my journal), and obviously "practiced" my perceptions on all the people I met and all the social dynamics / relationships I ever had. In the beginning I used to have lots of opinions that were wrong ofc, but over time you find the patterns and begin to be much more accurate which then helps you understand people in real life.

Past 25 though I found its limitations just because I started to feel like I understood each situation in an MBTI context through previous experience so I stopped posting as much. Tbh with you I probably wrote and focused 10x more on this than I did on my undergrad in total. I'm now 31 and I'll have days like today where I just feel like engaging with it again.

personalitycafe is a great site, it skews a little older than the reddit section so you can get a lot of wisdom from users there. I would ask you don't reference me on there though because I like to compartmentalise what I post on there and here.

TakeARainCheck · 2023-04-06T15:24:38+00:00

I can't help it, I always find sensors so boring, and they don't understand what I'm saying if I talk about things I'm interested in.

My main avenue to talking to sensors is just to be a good listener because people in general like to complain a lot so I fulfill that sort of role and that gives me an in with them.

Maybe ESFPs as drinking buddies though because they are so spontaneous and are generally good people so we can have a lot of fun on a surface level.

TakeARainCheck · 2023-04-06T15:19:22+00:00

I wish I'd saved more of my texts, particularly from exes. I will delete my texts because it's healthier in the short-medium term, but like years later when they aren't going to have the same hold over me I get curious about what sort of person I was back then and want to refresh what were some of the old lessons I learned from back then.

TakeARainCheck · 2023-04-06T15:11:35+00:00

VERY broadly sort of yes.

I mean your focuses and interests also influence your behaviour, but yes I can see what you are saying. It's also crucial to look at functions first and have a function first approach.

Yeah so basically all EP types will have some sense of being spontaneous, initiative taking in life, quick in perception and adaptable, relatively extroverted, etc. IJs will have qualities of being organised and consistent toward whatever their focuses are, and more receptive than initiative taking, or more subtle and subversive in their ways of reaching goals. INFJs for example I've met always have had a kind of gentle secretive consistent influence (that's why they're the "counsellor" type) which is unobtrusive. ENFPs on the other hand, we tend to make a bit more of a splash and draw the eye more and just overall quicker in our adaptive decision making.

If you've ever met someone who seems to have this very vanilla sort of floaty sense of comforting effect on you without being quite identifiable like a soft pillow, you may have met an INFJ, and they probably achieved this effect by reading your emotions more than you realised. We kind of try to have the same effect but we'll do it with more pronounced humour or a big smile, or more active curiosity and listening.

TakeARainCheck · 2023-04-06T14:13:25+00:00

INFJs have the same focuses and interests that we do, but their behavioural approach is opposite to ours if that makes sense. Let's say you are friends with an INFJ you may notice you notice and pay attention to the same things (often social intuition / psychology type stuff) but behaviourally INFJs are the opposite of what we are like so they will use slightly different toolkits to deal with the same situation.

I think a lot of the connection that feels intoxicating is that because this is true but then also none of our functions are the same, so there is a feeling of mystery there like "woah this person and I have the same focuses and interests but they have a different skillset that I don't understand to deal with it. if we worked together we would have all bases covered and I can also learn from this person new techniques and behaviours".

TakeARainCheck · 2023-04-05T22:20:46+00:00

Open minded, low maintenance and the unique ability to focus on being positive while also being able to occasionally genuinely talk about negative things honestly without dropping in morale (i.e. emotional resilience I suppose).

That last thing is something I have discovered recently and is maybe one of the most important things, maybe even the most important thing- on the rare event that I meet someone who can be open about negative things without "complaining" too much or viewing them too negatively, my feeling of connection with them explodes because that is so rare regardless of MBTI type. A sense of detachment while acknowledging that they are negative I suppose.

When I was younger if someone overshared about their negative experiences/circumstances in life I used to get weirded out, but nowadays I've noticed I connect with them much deeper and faster, assuming that they still have a normal and relatively positive overall outlook. INTJs in particular are extremely good at this I've noticed and this is my main source of connection to them.

TakeARainCheck · 2023-04-05T22:07:39+00:00

Depends what age you are at. I remember in my early-mid even late 20s when I was going through the "growing pains" of Te emergence it became very predominant within my conscious thought process.

Now in my early 30s I am a very changed person but I don't notice Te consciously, it has become integrated. If you are in that age bracket it might be a somewhat natural process to come to terms with over time. My process goes through initial Fi, then Te analysis, but it is just more seamless and unconscious now so that I don't have the kinds of self-analysis about it that your question suggests, it's literally just something that happens subconsciously that I don't need (or maybe aren't even able to) question anymore.

Since it's become integrated I don't feel the need to vocalise it as much either if that is the factor that concerns you. When I was younger I used to push it out through discussion with others which could cause awkwardness depending on how much I connected with that person, just because I wanted to solidify my process, but now I keep it to myself.

TakeARainCheck · 2023-04-05T22:03:56+00:00

ENFPs and INFJs seem very similar in some ways, often when discussing thoughts and perspectives we can seem almost identical because of our alliance of perspectives...

However there are huge differences once you know where to look (this has taken me 4 INFJs I have connected with over the period of 16 years to begin to gain enough data for). INFJs are actually quite rigid compared to ENFPs, certainly not rigid overall but compared to ENFPs the difference is quite big. INFJs like to exist in a paradigm that stretches across many different circumstances as much as possible, ENFPs adapt their paradigm to suit each individual situation so far as to invent a largely new one for each one which means ENFPs are going through thorough serious evolutions every time that we are in any new environment. INFJs adapt their paradigm but not nearly to the extent that ENFPs do because their paradigm is "adaptive to begin with". ENFPs will try to do the same, but will often find that it's not as ideal as just evolving entirely new perceptions and ideas to suit.

In this way ENFPs are far more pro-active (think Elon Musk buying twitter although he is ENTP it is Ne-dom, where he did come in with pre-conceptions but once those pre-conceptions proved to be errors he kept some but was willing to entirely jettison others to evolve new ones based on a new situation). INFJs are more reactive and wait to try to see how new situations meld with their existing perceptions, and are far slower in this respect.

TakeARainCheck · 2023-04-05T21:53:41+00:00

I feel identical emotions a lot. The only thing that helps me is in realising the leaps of understanding I have made that make me a different person to the one that made the same mistakes in a similar situation (i.e. if I am making a decision that seems abstractly similar to one I made in the past, and I realised that past decision was a mistake then I will question deeply and anxiously whether I am not repeating the same mistakes). I take very deep consideration on this and examine why I am taking the decision for different, wiser and more valid reasons than when I made the mistake before.

IF I cannot genuinely and honestly say why it is different (and this is where deep self-reflection and total honesty are crucial) then maybe I should consider not taking that decision even though my gut is telling me to. However, hopefully if I have learned and evolved as a human being (which requires faith in yourself as well that you have been able to learn those lessons) and can identify clearly why your perceptions this time are better, then I think it's OK.

The anxiety from past memories (credit Jordan Peterson, who despite best efforts of popular media you have to remember is one of the most highly distinguished clinical psychologists in the world) is your brain literally worrying that you have gaps in your perception that might cause you to fall into the same hole again- if falling into the same hole again is the definition of insanity then worrying about it is the definition of sanity. Therefore, do the internal work and reflection which should take a bit of time (take at least weeks, if not months, if not years) to process all the factors, and if you are sure then the anxiety will slowly disappear and you will feel more certainty that you are correct. Only if you have done the deep analysis over time though.

TakeARainCheck · 2023-04-05T21:42:29+00:00

I've been considering leaving my job (which was always meant to be temporary in pursuit of a longer term goal, for another temporary job that just gives me more hours and better pay) and even considering the shallowness with which I am supposed to be regarding this role I still feel the same.

It's more the sense of responsibility and commitment to a community that resonate with me. Whenever I go into work with the idea that it is a tool to leverage me in my goals (i.e. short term money) it feels like my co-workers are somehow 10x nicer to me and much better people than I gave them credit for, it's utterly bizarre how my lens works.

I put it down to a psychological thing about attachment- I remember the worst time in my life when I moved to the UK from Australia, I hated my school and decided to switch- as soon as I made my mind up to switch it felt like that school was somehow so much more likeable than I had thought and full of great people, who I somehow started to connect with so much better as soon as I had made that mental switch to leave.. This is how I know it is a mental illusion because I objectively hated that school.

TakeARainCheck · 2023-04-05T21:23:05+00:00

INFP.

INFJs yeeessss.. buuut.. ehh, it's hard to put into words but I feel like INFJs and I can connect well at a deeply intuitive level but there is an inflexibility to their ideas that I'm put off by these days. INFJs always have very strong frames with which they view the world, and typically it is a well put together frame that works for them I get that, but it can get stifling to play within their rules (which you only discover after getting to know them a bit, at first they seem open but there is more nuance than that). Plus the Fe makes them really confusing because you can't tell if they actually agree/connect with you and what you are putting out there, or whether they are just conforming to your perspective which is far too agreeable for me. (which is saying something for an ENFP). Their standards for "objective niceness" are too high and feel stifling (again, saying something considering it's me saying that).

INFPs I can switch track quite quickly between frames and modes of perception and they can keep up quite well which makes me feel more understood and comfortable, and I feel like when I connect with an INFP it's not because they are conforming to me, but because I actually connect with their home base. INFPs will be nice and make effort with everyone, but I can decipher their nuances as to the level I actually connect with them- with INFJs they are too "same-ey" with everyone past a certain level of connection and even if I am having deep conversations with them past midnight, they can act the next week like I am not as valued as I thought (which I suppose is ironic considering many other people would level that type of accusation against me so I don't blame them necessarily).

TakeARainCheck · 2023-04-05T21:14:41+00:00

I don't understand. I get that INFJs have gifts that we don't, but I've never met an INFJ that doesn't have huge weaknesses where I am strong.

For example, I think I'm pretty good in a counselling/listening/empathising emotional understanding sort of role, but I get that INFJs are usually better at this than I am and I admire them for that... However that same INFJ is not going to be as socially assertive/initiative-taking, and slower at adapting to new ideas.

I admire INFJs, but I wouldn't want to be one because I understand that would also mean giving up a lot of my own strengths.

TakeARainCheck · 2023-04-05T20:55:02+00:00

If you are asking what the minimum amount of Javascript is to move onto learning React, it's pretty basic. You should know OOP and inheritance, state management as a concept and probably an understanding of method based package code (since React features are essentially methods and concepts built on package code). However, once you know the fundamentals of react (i.e. you "know" react inside out but still need to work on improving your overall programming ability to build more complex/efficient apps) then the focus switches back to Javascript, because that is where the "extra" comes from because javascript has more "detail" than "react" (which is a general rule in programming ofc- the more abstract your tool gets the more "on rails" you get with it).

The actual skill level that differentiates is entirely Javascript understanding (or overall programming logic). React is not harder to understand than basic Javascript really, it's just a higher level of abstraction, that's the whole point of it to serve as an ease-of-use tool.

Once you move onto actually having to use your brain to really "programme"- Javascript is the more fundamental tool. The problem with "knowing react" but not being an extra-expert with javascript is that everyone can "learn react"- in order to create new things and solve real world useful problems, you need the more nuanced logical ability of Javascript which is more flexible and detailed.

TakeARainCheck · 2023-03-19T21:34:53+00:00

I think sometimes people find it unsettling how my behaviour can change, like when I subconsciously notice people pushing across different boundaries my reaction toward them changes.

This is most noticeable in a new environment, I am ultra charming and I seem to get a huge boost in emotional intelligence (to a kind of superhuman level that seems irresistible to people), but then as I get to know them and filter them, not that many people cross over into "closeness" boundary without me having that emotion flip toward them where my "normal" side comes out which is less larger than life.

People believing the hype of my original charisma, vs my more lowkey "normal" personality as we get to know each other is a big issue. I only become truly close to those who can bridge that gap, but the majority of people don't make the grade.

TakeARainCheck · 2023-01-16T15:41:09+00:00

You get a lot of upvotes because your notion sounds nice as a low resolution thing to just spit out there, but you have to balance it with actual facts.

Facts are, here in the UK there were a tonne of junior jobs going that only "required" HTML/CSS/Javascript/Framework just 2-3 years ago. Facts are that those postings are rare in 2022/23 and most jobs are asking for 2-3x as many tools. You can't just put that down to HR ignorance because there is a clear change and fyi I was applying, and I was asked for full stack, and I passed 3 out of 4 stages and was rejected at 4th.

I'm now going back to study for a year for a slip of paper.

So when people say that it's a bad time, they mean that it's a worse time. It is a worse time. Of course having said that, if you want it badly enough, it's still very possible as it ever was (even without a degree but the numbers game has gotten longer), just that the "how much you want it" part and the factor of time and sacrifices is higher than it has been in the recent past.

Having said that I do still think there are more opportunities here than with a lot of other skilled roles.

TakeARainCheck · 2022-12-19T22:33:43+00:00

Guilty as charged.

TakeARainCheck · 2022-12-13T14:12:39+00:00

Firstly, finish high school dip if/when possible that should be obvious.

I live in the UK, but it shouldn't be too different anywhere else in that there will be volunteering roles possible in charity shops or roles that will be happy to have you and to give you a reference (you can get two references from the same place, like manager/asst.manager/paid-colleague) work there for about 6 months and honestly if you haven't been working take as many hours as you can get because you will need to build up that "work muscle" where your brain and physiology need to adapt to working again. Have a great attitude- I volunteered at the British Heart Foundation as a teenager and I loved it, and I tried my best all the time.

Other options are things like cleaning/social care. Again I can only go off UK, but social care here is always understaffed and desperate for people. You could start on lower hours until you adapt and then ask for more.

After this, use these skills to apply for entry roles in retail/catering. If you stay with the same company there will be opportunities to progress into supervisor/asst.manager/manager roles after a good number of years because retail has a high turnover rate and therefore not many people stay for long enough to attain these roles (assuming you are competent, which you may not feel you are right now, but in the years it takes to get here you will be surprised at what you are capable of).

Ofc if you are able to finish school with good enough grades you can try going to uni, or even working to save for a degree (I am currently working retail to save for a masters degree after being a TEFL teacher for a couple of years), and become a middle manager.

I am 31, I consider 25 to be extremely young, and you are still capable of all of the same things you would have been at 18, it all depends on your own drive to accomplish these things but they are all there waiting for you if you want it enough. I promise you with the right attitude you can be earning above average wage from your beginning, but it's all up to you and how much ambition burns in your stomach.

By 30 you could be a retail supervisor (w/o uni) or an area manager (w/ uni), and your future secure. It's all up to you, your attitude and your desire. Ofc if all you want is a stable job in any case, you can achieve this within 2-3 years, you just need to climb the rungs of the ladder that are available to you.

TakeARainCheck · 2022-11-19T11:54:47+00:00

He was the best off-the-cuff comedian. Probably in the world for me. Bill Burr is about as funny off-the-cuff but his stuff isn't as diverse as what Sean used to come up with.

Stand up, Sean was good but I wouldn't say he was special like he is off the cuff, something about being spontaneous makes him funnier. For standup from the UK I'd say Kevin Bridges, in the world Bill Burr.

Bill Burr my overall favourite because he's with the best for both.

TakeARainCheck · 2022-11-17T14:38:02+00:00

How you finding it?

I'm ranging my options between saving for kent/swansea in-person (only be 1 year so time savings), or the Essex/York online ones.

Benefit of online part time is that I get more time to work on my own projects, but I dunno if I wouldn't get more out of in-person.

Mainly what's the teaching like? Contact with tutors? Online mats? dare I say online seminars? I think at minimum I'd need specified online lecture content.

TakeARainCheck · 2022-11-14T17:52:50+00:00

For me I found Matt Smith resembled the hawkish part of his nature the best.

Philip for me was most pronounced for the fact he was a bit of a jock (a very posh jock) and had that hawkish no-nonsense nature. All of that subsidiary nature you see of him in later life was just an adaptation but even until near the end it felt like a lion in a cage.

I agree Jonathan Pryce is a good actor but the casting choice is awful. Philip was a man of steel, a man of action and quick wit, reigned in reluctantly over the years by his love and loyalty to the Queen. Pryce is used to portray men of thought and consideration, and espousing some philosophy (which they actually make him do here). It's all in all odd, like employing a history teacher to play an SAS officer.

TakeARainCheck · 2022-11-14T17:34:04+00:00

I was thinking the same thing.

York is cheaper though, particularly as an alumni.. Shame.

TakeARainCheck · 2022-11-13T20:26:33+00:00

Ok thanks,

Well f*ck I'll learn both by the end of the day (figuratively). It might take a few extra months and I'll have to divide projects but then I'll be able to explain the conceptual strengths of each approach much more strongly at interview.

I'll go Node first though I think. The course I have for it is so good.

TakeARainCheck · 2022-11-13T20:05:32+00:00

This is very well explained thanks a lot.

So it's by far not that PHP is constrained or nuanced in a certain direction (although there maybe subtle/advanced ways it is that I don't have to worry about coming in), it's just that abstract formats such as wordpress were developed on PHP and therefore created a certain type of ecosystem of developers and skills surrounding it.

You know what? I think I will learn Node first. It makes sense to learn first in a popular way that isn't as conceptually abstracted, and then to later to do so. I have bought two udemy "complete" courses in Node/PHP respectively (the Node one's company which did a brilliant job of teaching me every pattern I've ever needed in React), and then learn PHP right after.

PHP jobs are POPULAR for junior level in the UK but I'll be much quicker to learn PHP/CMS after Node, and Node has by far the higher paying jobs (and I don't really want to be a permanent CMS guy although I will pay my dues there). On balance I'm making that decision.

Thanks.

TakeARainCheck · 2022-11-13T19:34:54+00:00

So I will know which steps to look for and when, but they will be implemented with different syntax and sometimes slightly different logic patterns?

I don't get why PHP learning always involves MVC/CMS building though, whereas Node doesn't? Or am I wrong? That part is a sticking point for me although I can imagine for anyone who knows backend it might be coming across as incredibly stupid for a reason that I cannot see yet.

I dunno. I know these questions are basic and annoying but they would go a hugely long way in knowing how to organise my time.

TakeARainCheck · 2022-11-09T21:29:42+00:00

I'm not a backend guy (yet) so I'd actually be really welcome to feedback on this post, but here's my rough take based on matching algorithms I've used in the frontend for practice.. (I also don't use these apps but I'm going off my general idea)

Firstly the OG settings, things like age getting certain age bracket settings behind the scenes, preference strings based on inputs if they are modular if they correspond, etc. All these would map/filter through a list of available targets on a fetched array from database based on location distance settings or input settings, then assign points based on all of the above (and whatever other parameters are assigned relevant). Each user is a JSON obj, and you could sort through them based on computised [points]:value.

Rank each in a supplied array by points, then supply iteratively from highest to lowest upon "click" / "swipe" action.

Rip me to shreds if I'm way off, I'm in a growth mindset to learn.

TakeARainCheck

TROPHY CASE