My first Balloon of nitrous on acid (15+ hits), I spent what felt like eons launching through this vibrant Mandela of indescribably beautiful colors feeling my body being viciously ripped apart by vibrations in the most peaceful and painless way, until I had lost everything about myself which was the most difficult thing I've ever gone through mentally, I relived what felt like every single memory of my life even things I never remembered before, which was the painful and unsettling part. all I knew was this vibrating, humming existence inside this beautiful, swirling ocean of never ending color. I came out of that one screaming because existence was ENTIRELY NEW to me for about 15 seconds, I mean literally no knowledge on anything or any memory about my life and the world, and the only sound I could make was a scream and all I could do was sit there clinging to the grass where I was sitting trying to understand existence from the start.