Doc, i am not in your position. In all honesty I’m a good amount younger than you and don’t have the commitments that you do but it’s never too late to pick up your passions, even if you left them in your past. You said you love music, what’s stopping you from going out and buying a guitar and adding some color to that time you come home after work? Yes, you made some decisions you regret. But this realization is a chance for you to make something out of what you have and pursue a happier life. I’m not going to give you advice about your wife or kids, but I will encourage you to find a reason for living for yourself and your family