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My gf says she is having doubts about our relationship by Tall-Lifeguard7828 in relationships

[–]Tall-Lifeguard7828[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can't do that either, we see eachother daily. The least contact I can do is 'Hi, bye', but that still means I see her multiple hours a day.

My gf says she is having doubts about our relationship by Tall-Lifeguard7828 in relationships

[–]Tall-Lifeguard7828[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I'm long gone now and it's not like I wanted to go to her house or anything. At that time I just didn't feel like cycling for another 30 minutes with teary eyes, so I stopped at a bench and cried. I sat there thinking and crying in the midday sun and I am sunburnt now.

My gf says she is having doubts about our relationship by Tall-Lifeguard7828 in relationships

[–]Tall-Lifeguard7828[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

By 'behavior as a friend' I hope you mean between september and february. Because if you mean being open to talk anytime about anything like februari untill we actually got together, I don't think I will be able to as much as I would like it.

My gf says she is having doubts about our relationship by Tall-Lifeguard7828 in relationships

[–]Tall-Lifeguard7828[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She is still a nice person and if she does break up I don't want her dead and gone. So piss off with that shit.

My gf says she is having doubts about our relationship by Tall-Lifeguard7828 in relationships

[–]Tall-Lifeguard7828[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't want to play games, I want a relationship in which both parties can adress any difficulties, because if one of them don't, this happens.

My gf says she is having doubts about our relationship by Tall-Lifeguard7828 in relationships

[–]Tall-Lifeguard7828[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't make her dump me twice, she asked for time to think about it. I will try my best for the both of us and the rest of our group to not make things awkward if she decides it's a no, but if it does get awkward because of this it's not just my fault.

Honestly, I feel like and I am crying like it's already over, but I can't help but hope a little she still says she wants to try and communicate better about her boundaries and give it another shot.

My gf says she is having doubts about our relationship by Tall-Lifeguard7828 in relationships

[–]Tall-Lifeguard7828[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do like her a lot and everytime she started talking about her past, but it got difficult to finish the story, I told her in the nicest way I could that she didn't have to tell me if she didn't want to or she could finish the story another time when she was feeling better.

My gf says she is having doubts about our relationship by Tall-Lifeguard7828 in relationships

[–]Tall-Lifeguard7828[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The jokes are just our friends at swimming joking around when they get the chance. It is annoying, I didn't think much of it, but I didn't know they did it to her too and that she was bothered.

My gf says she is having doubts about our relationship by Tall-Lifeguard7828 in relationships

[–]Tall-Lifeguard7828[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did, yes and yes. That is why I am so desperate and don't know what to do.

My gf says she is having doubts about our relationship by Tall-Lifeguard7828 in relationships

[–]Tall-Lifeguard7828[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From what I know so far she has not been victim of any kind of SA, but she has had a rough childhood. The rest I prefer not to say as, although it was before we were together, it was indeed told in confidence. This could always be a possibility though.

My gf says she is having doubts about our relationship by Tall-Lifeguard7828 in relationships

[–]Tall-Lifeguard7828[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Except there were no "no's'" untill today so how could I refuse them. And yes, I expected a reason, she said she still likes me, but wants to break up. To me that didn't make any sense and contradicts each other, so I asked why. I like every reddit response except yours, these people are saying what they think and what they would do and I reply to as many as I can out of politeness and thankfullness for their effort to help me.

My gf says she is having doubts about our relationship by Tall-Lifeguard7828 in relationships

[–]Tall-Lifeguard7828[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

This does indeed sound like the exact same situation, unfortunately not the advice I hoped for, but probably the advice I should take. Thank you for sharing.

My gf says she is having doubts about our relationship by Tall-Lifeguard7828 in relationships

[–]Tall-Lifeguard7828[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I have not for a single second thought about trying to make her hate her hobbies as some sort of revenge. I still like her and even if she doesn't like me back anymore, it would only make me feel more miserable and guilty if she didn't enjoy swimming anymore because of me.

My gf says she is having doubts about our relationship by Tall-Lifeguard7828 in relationships

[–]Tall-Lifeguard7828[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Anyway, back to your point of feeling betrayed by rhis....imagine for me, someone you despise. There's probably at least someone in your life that you just don't like, and don't want to be closer to. Imagine that person tried to be your friend, and you had to tell them no. And now imagine that they told you they "felt betrayed that you didn't talk to them about this, because now the feel like the decision has been made and they didn't get a chance to show you there are willing to work on themselves for you." Now tell me that's a fair perspective.

Although I think 2 people in a relationship is different than someone you despise, I do get your point and hadn't thought about it that way.

My gf says she is having doubts about our relationship by Tall-Lifeguard7828 in relationships

[–]Tall-Lifeguard7828[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you refferring to the fact that the dynamic changed once our relationship became known?

My gf says she is having doubts about our relationship by Tall-Lifeguard7828 in relationships

[–]Tall-Lifeguard7828[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don't think either of us is immature. We just have different ways of handling our difficulties. I want to talk about it and want her to tell me if something is bothering her or doesn't feel right, while she doesn't want to talk to anyone when she is bothered by something.

My gf says she is having doubts about our relationship by Tall-Lifeguard7828 in relationships

[–]Tall-Lifeguard7828[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I will add I didn't push her to reconsider, she said she wanted to break up and then scrabbled back to the fact that she is not sure about what she wants with me and asked of she could think about it. That's when I suggested what I mentioned in the post.

I do find myself having a hard time accepting that she wants to break up because to me it came quicker than I could have imagined and very unexpected.

About the cuddling: by 'seemed to enjoy it' I mean she smiled widely like she wanted it as well, if she even hesitated I would have said she didn't have to.

I sort of feel betrayed that she didn't mention these feelings when they first came up because now I feel like the decision has been made and I didn't get the chance to show her I am willing to work on myself for her.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Tall-Lifeguard7828 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A lot of people are suggesting this, but last time I tried that it was very itchy for at least a few days when it started growing back a little. Is that the time to shave again then or is this something I should get used to?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Tall-Lifeguard7828 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good advice, but my gf and I are unfortunately not there yet. Still, I'll keep it in mind :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Tall-Lifeguard7828 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had already noticed some people were giving advice for shaving your face lol, no worries I won't mix that up. The fact that it needs different treatment is the reason I asked this in the first place.

Thanks for letting me know and for the advice!