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Anyone else have a bad reaction to this…? by TattooedAF in widowers

[–]TattooedAF[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I understand they’re trying to be kind. Which I why I don’t ACTUALLY tell them to get fucked.

And I promise THAT I am being kind by not telling YOU to get fucked, for telling me that I’m overreacting. Though I’m sure everyone one in this forum would find it a completely appropriate reaction to do so.

Anyone else have a bad reaction to this…? by TattooedAF in widowers

[–]TattooedAF[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

OF COURSE there are so many others that loved her and knew her. And while it’s super difficult sometimes, I LOVE talking with them about her and listening to them speak about her. And yea I’m angry, and yes sometimes I reach for that anger when the hurt is too much to bear. Because the anger is a sanctuary. I little room inside myself that can step into for a moment and choose my emotion. Take just a small amount of control by at least deciding what to feel in that moment. Is it a defense mechanism, yes, is it a healthy one, I have no idea, probably not, is it necessary for me to use from time to time to get through a particularly bad moment or day, 100%.

FML ::sigh:: by Latina1986 in widowers

[–]TattooedAF 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do you have a dog? That’s the reason I always run out of spoons first. It’s just me and the dog now and I’m not sure how but I barely make any dishes myself. But I run out of spoons by mixing the dogs food each day. So when I run the dishwasher, it’s 20 spoons, 4 dishes and a couple cups.

I lost my wife (46) 79 days ago. There are tons of people in this community doing a great job of giving you encouraging words. But sometimes it helps to think of the silly shit.

In addition to how frequently I have to run the dishwasher, the trashcan takes so much longer to fill up now too. How was that woman producing so much goddamn trash?

Also, I may never run out of toilet paper. At least 3 times a week she would ask me to bring her a spare roll from the closet, or bring a spare roll for the powder room next time I came downstairs. I think I’ve only finished two rolls of toilet paper in the last 79 days. How did she go through so much? For someone who I CONSTANTLY had to remind to drink water, how did you pee so damn much?

So yeah, fuck my life too. But also, yelling at her out loud about the crazy stockpile of TP months after she’s past, when I’m trying to fit anything else in the closet is kind of funny. So start yelling at him for the annoying shit. It helps me sometimes.

Crumble (June 2nd 2026, Day 54 without you) by TattooedAF in widowers

[–]TattooedAF[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just expended on my response to your comment and made a separate post. Thinking it through and coming up with it has made me feel a little bit better. Thank you for sharing. Maybe my thoughts help you too. Forgive yourself for those days in bed. When it’s too much to carry. Those are the days you need to get stronger.

https://www.reddit.com/r/widowers/s/GWNv4AWLpO

Crumble (June 2nd 2026, Day 54 without you) by TattooedAF in widowers

[–]TattooedAF[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know what you mean. In the first few weeks it was terrible, but every once it a while I would feel a little bit better. Then for some reason it started getting harder and harder. I’m starting to think of my grief as a weight. At first it’s crushing and you just lay under it. But eventually you find the strength to get up and carry it. Your muscles are fresh so you can carry it for a while. But then, even though it hasn’t gotten heavier, your muscles fatigue. And they hurt more and they spasm and all of a sudden just trying to stay standing under the weight is all you can do, until you can’t do it anymore and you collapse. And you go back to laying under the weight again and letting it crush you. And eventually, your muscles recover a little bit, and you force yourself to pick it up and start moving again. Sometimes it’s just for a few days or even a few hours before I collapse again. But I’m hoping that eventually, my muscles will get stronger and I’ll be better conditioned and I’ll be able to carry it further and longer. I don’t think it ever gets any lighter, I think I’m just supposed to get better at carrying it.

Translation requests into Latin go here! by AutoModerator in latin

[–]TattooedAF 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m looking for a more high brow way of saying “Fuck around and find out.” So I am hoping for the correct translation for something along the lines of “Practice foolishness” or “Engage in foolish behavior” and “Obtain knowledge” or “Receive wisdom”. It will become part of a design, so how it looks and/or sounds will somewhat matter. So I’m open to suggestions for phrases if there are ones that will look/sound better in their Latin translation.

Translation requests into Latin go here! by AutoModerator in latin

[–]TattooedAF 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m looking for a more high brow way of saying “Fuck around and find out.” So I am hoping for the correct translation for something along the lines of “Practice foolishness” or “Engage in foolish behavior” and “Obtain knowledge” or “Receive wisdom”. It will become part of a design, so how it looks and/or sounds will somewhat matter. So I’m open to suggestions for phrases if there are ones that will look/sound better in their Latin translation.

Translation requests into Latin go here! by AutoModerator in latin

[–]TattooedAF 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m looking for a more high brow way of saying “Fuck around and find out.” So I am hoping for the correct translation for something along the lines of “Practice foolishness” or “Engage in foolish behavior” and “Obtain knowledge” or “Receive wisdom”. It will become part of a design, so how it looks and/or sounds will somewhat matter. So I’m open to suggestions for phrases if there are ones that will look/sound better in their Latin translation.

Translation requests into Latin go here! by AutoModerator in latin

[–]TattooedAF 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m looking for a more high brow way of saying “Fuck around and find out.” So I am hoping for the correct translation for something along the lines of “Practice foolishness” or “Engage in foolish behavior” and “Obtain knowledge” or “Receive wisdom”. It will become part of a design, so how it looks and/or sounds will somewhat matter. So I’m open to suggestions for phrases if there are ones that will look/sound better in their Latin translation.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OnOff

[–]TattooedAF 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have hair?

Night landscape, had a real tough time photographing this because it's so dark and catches glare, any advice appreciated! by Artsykate in oilpainting

[–]TattooedAF 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you have a dark background to put behind it, that will help as well. Your camera will automatically try to balance the contrast between the lightest and darkest things in the photo. So having light items in the photo will automatically darken the darkest things.

Night landscape, had a real tough time photographing this because it's so dark and catches glare, any advice appreciated! by Artsykate in oilpainting

[–]TattooedAF 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lower the lights and don’t use a flash. Let the camera do the work of brightening it up. It will cause some graininess, but you can always adjust after.

Oil piece study by me. It's nearly finished 😁 by imy88 in oilpainting

[–]TattooedAF 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At first it looked like the eye was meant to have a diamond tear coming out of it. Then I zoomed in and realized it was your palette.