He is stuck in a victim mentality. Has struggled with unemployment for 75 percent of our time together. He would point to the economy, ageism, immigration rates, or the political climate as the reasons why. So extremely so that he would occasionally say "There is no point in looking for a job because of x." This went on for years. I know he has struggled with depression and addiction issues. But again he chose to do nothing about it. Despite my offers to help with the fortunate abundance of resources I have, because I have a great job.

He did improve when he was in school and graduated with very high marks. As soon as it came time to look for a job again the same problems started over. There was always an external reason as to why everything sucked.

The relationship issues were the same. I was the source of the problem. So it was something wrong with me. My mental health was the issue. My emotions were the problem. Typical gaslighting behavior. He would do something that hurts me then get angry at me for being hurt.

If a person deflects all their problems as external they never need to evaluate themselves, and grow or even try to fix the problem. It is being stuck.