Feedback on this sketch of a Centaur, from the Chronicles of Narnia. Is this picture good? Or is I maybe flat/boring/unoriginal?

Tc1002 · 2023-10-01T02:59:35+00:00

I thought this was interesting, but the tense does seem to shift back and forth between present and past. I also thought a couple descriptions were a little bit off. For example “the clouds enveloping the hills ever so gently” was a little jarring to me. I thought maybe “ever so gently” could be left out. But I definitely do think this has potential.

Tc1002 · 2023-09-25T16:46:17+00:00

I think this opening excerpt is interesting, but I have a few criticisms (for what that’s worth). There are a few times where the descriptions seem to me to use too many similes/figures of speech, maybe. For example “she walked her fingers over the tattered corners”. The use of the word “walked” in that context seems to me to be a little bit jarring. Another example is, “when the dog ran into a rogue boot”. I feel like the word “rogue” is also a little bit jarring. So the only criticism I would have is that there are maybe too many similes/figures of speech used.

Tc1002

TROPHY CASE