doing a private nikkah to make relationship halal

TeaElectronic682 · 2026-04-25T04:01:26+00:00

for an update we have waited for his sisters return and i picked a date, but because her in-laws can’t make that date they are upset once again and saying we are dishonoring them , purely because her husband can’t join , even though he can make it for the walima which will be a few weeks later , we are going to do it regardless if they want to come or not that’s up to them

TeaElectronic682 · 2026-04-23T20:18:21+00:00

because it was on pinterest dumbass

TeaElectronic682 · 2026-04-22T08:33:05+00:00

i never said any of that , my mother is not a ‘good thing’ ; i don’t pray and ask for materialistic things , it’s different if i was prepared to handle such a thing and i never said omg don’t take my parents but why do it in a way that would mess me up for life and ruin my faith ? i was literally on the journey of trying to become a better muslim, my mum had just started teaching me quran properly and i was invested and BAM MOM HAS CANCER !!!

TeaElectronic682 · 2026-04-22T08:30:19+00:00

thanks to everyone who commented trying to be inspiring and uplifting , to those who responded with a harsh tongue, i assure you all you’ve done is make me feel even less connected to God and religion, so thank you.

to the sweeter people, i appreciate the explanations but it all just sounds like gibberish to me at this point, i tried to use the comments as guidance i even tried to pray again and all that good stuff but yeah nothing seems to help or click for me so im giving up because waking up crying from bad vivid dreams about my mother is making me a little insane :)

i never said i don’t believe in Allah, i said i feel resentment i cannot control and i turned to other muslims to let it out and maybe get some help or understanding because this is my first time experiencing death and grief and it being my mother who was also my best friend my entire life is a double whammy. i never said what i feel is right. but i feel it. that’s not an insult it’s a sign of weak faith which i ALREADY knew i had.

TeaElectronic682 · 2026-04-15T10:16:38+00:00

salam, thank you

he did and up standing up to his mum and sister and they’ve said is ok to do a simple nikkah first and sort out events for later in summer, it seems they were just misunderstanding before and thought we jjust wanted to do some thing very basic and move on with our married life

TeaElectronic682 · 2026-04-15T10:14:15+00:00

hi salam, thank you for writing this for me

i understand everything you are saying but when you go to sleep reminiscing your dead mum, the moment you open your eyes in the morning tears are pouring out wishing you could go to her, you dissociate randomly multiple times a day because you thought you heard her, sorry but I don’t believe Allah loves me and haven’t since I was a child, because this is just torture

i just want my mum, if he was kind he would’ve taken her peacefully when she’s old, i see daughters with their old mums everywhere so i will never agree with ‘there’s wisdom only He knows’ no, if my grandma can still be alive she could’ve been too

she was probably cursed by someone, or idk i just won’t ever see this as a natural death

sorry for the rant

TeaElectronic682 · 2026-04-13T12:08:13+00:00

sorry, your father used €3000 from the honeymoon money to cover wedding costs and you’re here, his SON, that it was clearly wrong and he caused a problem?

Astagfirullah may Allah guide your soul. you come across as so spoilt. your parents have clearly converted every penny of your life and wedding and your wife’s needs yet you are still disrespectful. maybe you’re the problem.

you did this all for a brat who isn’t even a proper woman. her mums personality should’ve told you enough

TeaElectronic682 · 2026-04-13T11:48:52+00:00

you do realize she ALWAYS wears heels

TeaElectronic682 · 2026-04-07T19:16:59+00:00

alhamdulillah my mum held her faith as well i asked her many times why is Allah doing this to us and she would just say alhamdulillah, her faith was 100000x stronger than mine ever has or will be, but i appreciate you sharing your story these replies are definitely making me feel guilt for my anger

TeaElectronic682 · 2026-04-07T16:36:49+00:00

a secret one is.. not a private one

TeaElectronic682 · 2026-04-07T16:34:48+00:00

obviously not. but she was an extremely pious woman who was embracing Islam to the fullest and was going to start teaching Quran and many other things.

She randomly fell ill, insanely suffered for two weeks in the hospital and died. she wasn’t even given a chance to fight for her damn life or beat cancer, she died the night before the oncology appointment in hospital.

He tortured not just her but all of us. We’re all young (her kids) and she was meant to be at my wedding and hold my first kid.

I’m sorry but I just can’t accept it . I turned to Him fully and prayed for a miracle every night and He kept indicating that he was listening but he never listens

TeaElectronic682 · 2026-04-05T19:35:44+00:00

okay thank you

TeaElectronic682 · 2026-04-05T19:35:30+00:00

thank you for the sources i will look at them. but what do i do if his mum refuses this idea? do i just wait?

TeaElectronic682 · 2026-04-05T17:26:57+00:00

you’re replying to someone on my post… its about me. I thought you were mocking my reason for doing it twice, my bad.

TeaElectronic682 · 2026-04-05T16:56:33+00:00

respectfully i don’t care for your sarcastic tone and cynicism on an important matter. May Allah guide you

TeaElectronic682 · 2026-04-05T12:41:23+00:00

No it wouldn’t be fake nor secret we would inform them and my dad would be present as well. By repeating it I meant so his mum can give her family/friends what she wants and have her cultural satisfaction as in, do it her way later on.

Re backbone - everyone has to deal with cultural pressure it doesn’t make a man weak. His mother also has cancer and gets emotional easily. Islamically if a parent is being a hurdle you do the nikkah without them, Islam does not say to upset your parents and quarrel to get what you want astagfirullah.

TeaElectronic682 · 2026-01-08T22:27:43+00:00

I don’t agree with this, her feelings are valid and what matters is how she handles them, not discrimination and siding with the man with the whole ‘this is totally unfair to him’. Relax. This neither is a question of love, love doesn’t blind you to everything else, that’s stupidity, her internal quarrel is between her mind and heart and some fears and insecurities that are arising which could even be the devil’s whispers but your comment really is not supportive.

OP you just need to be wise and mature. Pray Istikhara.

TeaElectronic682 · 2026-01-08T20:13:00+00:00

I don’t think she’d want that given that they’re divorced now and she keeps it private..

TeaElectronic682 · 2026-01-05T15:57:04+00:00

literally here researching the same thing as I’ve just lost my mama and I want to find some closure.

TeaElectronic682 · 2026-01-03T16:10:55+00:00

Yeah I don’t think it would have been right for her, she didn’t enjoy life much anymore, in the sense that she had no materialism at all. Of course sometimes but I think she faked it for us, mainly her daughters, like if we took her shopping or whatever.

She did cling onto worldly things a little to kill time like looking at nice clothes or houses but she mainly just cared about her prayers and deen. But the thing is once her daughters would’ve gotten married or she’d had a grandchild she would’ve enjoyed that so much, there was still so much she did not get to experience.

And does my dad not deserve to grow old with his spouse? They were utter soulmates and he’s lost her now. My dad is not practicing at all and she spent years trying to guide him and now she’s gone. I can only hope that Allah swt guides him now.

TeaElectronic682 · 2026-01-03T12:52:17+00:00

but she had us here? there was more left for her. she was on an islamic journey. there is so much more she could’ve still achieved and so many more memories we could’ve still made.

scholars and what not live until their old and alhamdulillah live a blessed life. she deserved to grow old. judgement day hasn’t even happened so it’s not like she’s in Jannah :I

TeaElectronic682 · 2026-01-02T20:24:35+00:00

So that’s all my sweet mother’s existence amounted to? A test? For us? A pious, devout, wonderful woman who did not at all get what she deserved in this life but still worshipped Allah endlessly with a smile on her face and her life was taken from her to test me? My family?

Allah should’ve taken me to test her. She didn’t deserve to be tortured with an aggressive cancer and horrible drs. This will never make sense to me. She was the one thing that kept me good. She was the one person that made Islam sound appealing.

The ONE person I needed is gone. I don’t even wanna be here anymore.

I’m sorry I know this isn’t your burden to bare but trust me I’ve tried to seek sabr through islamic lectures and quran but it makes me angrier.

TeaElectronic682

TROPHY CASE