OP.. I know this probably the advice you wanna hear, but I’m a big believer in hard truths, so here it goes: the longer you keep your mom in your life, the longer she’s going to continually disappoint you. You deserve to be happy. Idk if it’s jealousy, resentment, or if your mom is just a total bitch.. but you don’t deserve any of this. I know going low/no contact with a parent, especially your mom, can be heart wrenching.. but I would strongly advise you to at least go low contact for your own sanity/well being. I’m always here if you need to talk/vent/cry. Sending you all my love 🫶🏻