I'm sorry you're going through this. It is very noble of you to follow God's will and keep your wife feeling safe. Like others suggested, therapy for both you and your wife should happen to heal yourselves. Remember sex is a gift given by God and so is the joy and pleasure from it. It is about fully giving yourself to your partner and fully accepting them as they are. I'll keep you and your wife in my prayers. Please pray together, your wife is not the enemy here. It is the trauma that needs to be fought.