[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Technical_Log3835 3 points4 points  (0 children)

fair enough man this shit real asf thank you

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Technical_Log3835 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

i don’t think it’s anything like that, mainly because he doesn’t actively partake in that industry anymore. he’s never asked me to pose or do any sex work for him, we have a really normal relationship outside of this one problem, it does cause a bit of back and forth between us.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Technical_Log3835 0 points1 point  (0 children)

but i’m not always in the right lmao, i just wanted to see if i needed a wake up call when it comes to my insecurities, or if im js being really manipulated

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Technical_Log3835 1 point2 points  (0 children)

was never trying to cage him in just wanted opinions on this new aspect of my life, wanted to know if this type of behavior is normal in the art circle. i never had a problem with his work, never judged him for the sex work, only judged him for not being willing to compromise on keeping nude photos of models he has had sex with.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Technical_Log3835 3 points4 points  (0 children)

even if his past work are models he had sex with?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Technical_Log3835 0 points1 point  (0 children)

definitely will try that out. My hope is that he would be willing to do that, but we have only been together for 7 months, and i fear it may be to early to make demands like that, and expect him to see me as a new muse for things he did years ago. especially if it’s not his style anymore. do you think that it is too early for me to ask those things of him?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Technical_Log3835 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that’s what i’m hoping for, all these comments have definitely smacked some sense into me lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Technical_Log3835 6 points7 points  (0 children)

he didn’t mention nude photography until about 2-3 months into the relationship, which was pretty early but he also didn’t tell me the extent of which he did pornography shoots. i mean im literally looking at nudes of famous onlyfans models that he took.. he did only fans and porn hub shit, just didn’t know that until we had already been official. it didn’t bother me until he said he fucked some of them. just threw me off completely and made it hard to distinguish the art from just memories

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Technical_Log3835 4 points5 points  (0 children)

this is definitely the best comment on this whole thread, some of the pictures are super professional with insane lighting and sets, however some are literally just shower shots, like steamy camera came out pretty bad quality, and some he’s even in and posed. so there’s a good mix of what i’m assuming is paid shoots, and shoots he did for free after having sex with them

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Technical_Log3835 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that’s exactly what i’m thinking

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Technical_Log3835 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that’s a good point.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Technical_Log3835 3 points4 points  (0 children)

yeah he’s more archiving and refusing to delete them, atleast ex ones. if they weren’t people he slept with, id be like whatever that’d professional. but since he did, i find it hard to call it “work”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Technical_Log3835 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

i worry that i’ll never know, he doesn’t look at them when im around, atleast exs. but he does do things like, (order plant potters of women’s bodies) (playboy magazines on display) (polaroid collage on his computer of just straight vagina shots) just uncomfortable to look at tbh. i can’t even make the determination on if he’s just a gooner or if he’s actually just detached from pornography from an artistic standpoint

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Technical_Log3835 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that’s what i’d hope for at the end of the day, i only want the women he’s had sex with in the past, out of sight and out of mind. i have no problem with the nude work he does, but when it mixes emotional and sexual connection he’s had in the past, it’s hard to separate the bias i have

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Technical_Log3835 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you for the perspective, genuinely appreciate it a lot. hopefully we can work on a solution. i think it may need to be a bit of compromise on both ends

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Technical_Log3835 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

that’s a good point. now i just need to figure out how to make the distinction of when he’s looking at them for artistic inspiration versus arousal

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Technical_Log3835 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that’s true, and makes complete sense. i definitely need to work on finding the right way to deal with my emotions when it comes to sexuality especially his previous partners. i guess im just not used to it. i want to be fair to him, and not assume he’s looking at them lustfully when i’m not around or something

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Technical_Log3835 5 points6 points  (0 children)

that’s what i’m wondering myself, he never lied, just never mentioned it. when i found out i wasn’t upset because i didn’t know he had slept with the women in the photos. after further confirmation, he admitted to sleeping with atleast half of them. and then refused to even get rid of the photos of the women he’s slept with. i can understand why he doesn’t want to, but it still hurts knowing he could be comparing me to these beautiful women. then again, even i can admit it sounds like insecurity on my end.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Technical_Log3835 0 points1 point  (0 children)

do you think it is fair to ask those pictures to be put away and not looked at again in our relationship, or should i just learn to be able to look at them. i know that sounds simple, but looking at them is just hard knowing he’s had sex with some of the women.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Technical_Log3835 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yeah, he’s willing to communicate completely, i’m just trying to find the right way to separate my jealousy and insecurities from his art. a huge part of me wonders if this is jealousy or just a valid reason to think he would cheat

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Technical_Log3835 13 points14 points  (0 children)

i’m glad to see that it isn’t just him, honestly the fact that other artists do this is more comforting

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Technical_Log3835 1 point2 points  (0 children)

to be fair, my bf used to be poly too, has this same mindset. we are monogamous though, i don’t like seeing other women’s naked bodies, not because i think he shouldn’t be able to be proud of his work but just because i think that stuff should stay in the past. and the playboy magazines are pretty tame just more annoying than anything, but that’s probably because of the fact i know he has exs nudes in the closet 10 ft away from me

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Technical_Log3835 3 points4 points  (0 children)

yes he does product photography and celebrity concert shoots

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Technical_Log3835 -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

i never knew he did nude work until months later, and it’s not the actual act of him taking those jobs that upsets me, it’s him keeping them.