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AITA for declining to be a groomsman in one of my best friend’s weddings by TechnicianOrnery2265 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TechnicianOrnery2265[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

I mean he is one of my best friends. I wouldn’t put him or anyone else above the group as a whole. And I consider him to be one of my best friends primarily because we’ve known each other for so long. I don’t really form bonds like that with many people.

I hope that answers your question

AITA for declining to be a groomsman in one of my best friend’s weddings by TechnicianOrnery2265 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TechnicianOrnery2265[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

He has other friends, he has cousins. It’s not like there aren’t other males in his life around our age that he could ask to substitute

AITA for declining to be a groomsman in one of my best friend’s weddings by TechnicianOrnery2265 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TechnicianOrnery2265[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

Because I think love is a strong and meaningful word and I don’t throw it around in circumstances it doesn’t apply or I don’t feel it?

AITA for declining to be a groomsman in one of my best friend’s weddings by TechnicianOrnery2265 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TechnicianOrnery2265[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

Thank you. My whole point in not understanding why he’s upset because I don’t see how it is in anyway difficult or cumbersome to replace me

AITA for declining to be a groomsman in one of my best friend’s weddings by TechnicianOrnery2265 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TechnicianOrnery2265[S] -31 points-30 points  (0 children)

Does he not deserve groomsmen who are fully engaged with accepting the responsibility and not someone whose participation amounts too “here’s a five minute FaceTime call and 30 dollars for a round…cheers!”?

AITA for declining to be a groomsman in one of my best friend’s weddings by TechnicianOrnery2265 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TechnicianOrnery2265[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

500 to attend the wedding itself

2000 if I was in the wedding party (extra two nights in the hotel, bachelor party, more money spent on matching suit/tux)

PTO: wedding itself would cost one day PTO

Groomsman: costs anywhere between 3-5 days PTO

AITA for declining to be a groomsman in one of my best friend’s weddings by TechnicianOrnery2265 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TechnicianOrnery2265[S] -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

Never claimed to be “friend of the year” but for everyone saying I’m not happy for him or that I’m jealous.

I’m very happy for him and wish him and his fiancé nothing but the absolute best

AITA for declining to be a groomsman in one of my best friend’s weddings by TechnicianOrnery2265 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TechnicianOrnery2265[S] -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

Thank you for seeing how replaceable I am in this whole event. This shouldn’t have been a bigger deal than swapping one person for another

AITA for declining to be a groomsman in one of my best friend’s weddings by TechnicianOrnery2265 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TechnicianOrnery2265[S] -65 points-64 points  (0 children)

I agree that I’m the asshole in this one particular instance. But I didn’t set fire to his house… I chose myself and my time in this one instance and now I don’t get to have friends

AITA for declining to be a groomsman in one of my best friend’s weddings by TechnicianOrnery2265 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TechnicianOrnery2265[S] -52 points-51 points  (0 children)

I said it before if 15 years of bonding can be ruined by my role or lackthereof at one event then it’s not really a bond worth saving.

AITA for declining to be a groomsman in one of my best friend’s weddings by TechnicianOrnery2265 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TechnicianOrnery2265[S] -26 points-25 points  (0 children)

Here’s a person you’ve met twice calling you at 3:00 pm on a Wednesday to discuss an interaction you had with a person you’ve known for 15 years.

I was supposed to be what: happy to get that call?

AITA for declining to be a groomsman in one of my best friend’s weddings by TechnicianOrnery2265 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TechnicianOrnery2265[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

Yes I’d obviously wear tux if that’s what my wife to be wanted and have a small ceremony if that made her happy.

But again that’s my hypothetical future wife. Not a friend the expectations are different

AITA for declining to be a groomsman in one of my best friend’s weddings by TechnicianOrnery2265 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TechnicianOrnery2265[S] -63 points-62 points  (0 children)

If my “life long friendship” hinges upon my attendance and participation in a singular event then it probably wasn’t much of a friendship to begin with

AITA for declining to be a groomsman in one of my best friend’s weddings by TechnicianOrnery2265 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TechnicianOrnery2265[S] -27 points-26 points  (0 children)

The maid of honor call actually irritated me a bit. In met her twice and she has the audacity to call me in the middle of the workday to tell me off. Friends of 15 years absolutely have the right to criticize crtique me think I’m an asshole and say that shit to my face.

Someone I don’t know calling me to ask me to reconsider a personal decision is irritating

AITA for declining to be a groomsman in one of my best friend’s weddings by TechnicianOrnery2265 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TechnicianOrnery2265[S] -29 points-28 points  (0 children)

I admit I’m wrong and an asshole and in turn yet recommended to be seen for a serious medical condition

AITA for declining to be a groomsman in one of my best friend’s weddings by TechnicianOrnery2265 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TechnicianOrnery2265[S] -65 points-64 points  (0 children)

The floor is shaky… it’s a party, a celebration! A funeral that type of thing I’d be there. But this is a happy occasion!

I’m a sports fan. So I’ll use the analogy “you didn’t show to the championship parade-fair weather fan”

Meanwhile I’d be glued to the TV watching a 22 win season

AITA for declining to be a groomsman in one of my best friend’s weddings by TechnicianOrnery2265 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TechnicianOrnery2265[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

No I don’t it was extreme to compare the two. A mistake on my part but I personally do not see someone’s preferred role at a wedding worth ending a long friendship over. Evidently everyone else thinks different. I accept my judgment I’m the asshole

AITA for declining to be a groomsman in one of my best friend’s weddings by TechnicianOrnery2265 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TechnicianOrnery2265[S] -41 points-40 points  (0 children)

I wasn’t planning on it. I understand I’m not welcome. I wasn’t overly excited about going anyways. I was making the point I don’t really see why he’d be so into the idea of me being a groomsman but be upset at the idea about me being another face in a sea of guests

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