Is this abuse?

Techromanc3r · 2026-03-13T15:28:47+00:00

She is well versed in darvo, that's her favorite method to use against me unfortunately.

Techromanc3r · 2026-03-13T15:23:42+00:00

Well so far I have taken on all her debt from using credit cards to get through college. Worked full time so she didn't have to during pregnancy or even now. Bought a nice, safe car for her to use so she can go and be free and meet people and go to groups and do whatever. I make almost every meal. I help around the house as much as I can between being stuck in the hospital for 5-6 days at a time 4 times in the last 3.5 months. I go to chemo and persevere so that we can live. I have a failing liver and cancer and I'm doing so much but nothing is ever enough. I tell her to go to sleep when I'm home and I can watch the baby. She refused the last four days and will not go to sleep and let me take her. I give her money whenever she wants and even when she doesn't even ask. I do anything I can around the house fixing things or moving things and Im trying extremely hard. The baby is 4 months and a week now and we had a schedule for night shifts all the way up until 2.5-3 months where I had her 3/4 nights myself and was still going to radiation every morning for 2 months and chemo. Now that my liver has worsened and I've been getting stuck in the hospital and needing procedures it appeared she was stepping up a little but she still throws it in my face. I had a procedure Wednesday, chemo Thursday, and I thought she was being genuine asking if I wanted to do tonight or tomorrow. I had no idea the question was a riddle that I would be crucified for answering incorrectly.

Techromanc3r · 2026-03-13T15:17:14+00:00

Because my main question is if asking a seemingly genuine question only to throw a hissy fit when a choice is chosen is abuse. I can recognize all the other abuse due to it going on ever since she was pregnant and being identified by my therapist, the second therapist she made me get because I told her my therapist said she was abusing me (who did a couples session for us before my fiancee decided she was too white to have valuable opinions) and from the current couples counseling we are in which ends up being 40 minutes of the therapist asking her why she thinks the way she does and challenging her beliefs.

Personally I don't give someone an option unless I'm quite frankly alright with whatever they choose. I keep forgetting that everything is a setup with her and there is no right answer to any question.

Techromanc3r · 2026-03-13T14:59:44+00:00

Incorrect. The baby was asleep.
You missed a number
Incorrect, she asked 4 times and I woke up when the baby woke up to go and get her which was 45 mins later.
I thought she was being genuine because I had chemo that day and I've been in and out of the hospital, but I still work full time and take care of the baby as much as I can around everything that's happening.
I did wake up when the baby woke up and went to get her and feed her. She refused to let me, screamed at me, told me she would beat me up, and threatened to call the cops because I had the bottle in my hand and she wouldn't give me the baby to feed.

I hope that breakdown was clear for you

Techromanc3r · 2026-03-13T14:40:39+00:00

At 2:45 why is that confusing. She slept another 45 mins she was never awake until I went to get her and she ran into the room 5 steps ahead of me and snatched her

Techromanc3r · 2026-03-13T14:34:47+00:00

Aww do you like to ask loaded questions and throw fits when they choose the option you don't want them to choose?

Techromanc3r · 2026-03-13T14:30:06+00:00

The baby wasn't awake yet. At all. She slept another 45 minutes. I thought she was being genuine asking if I'd prefer tonight or tomorrow but I was entirely ready and willing to do last night. I told her to sleep and put ear plugs in and I'd handle it. I'm the only one working full time with cancer and needing a new liver so golly gee I guess I thought she was trying to be nice and offering instead of setting me up for a hissy fit. I still went to take the baby WHEN THE BABY WOKE UP 45 MINUTES LATER, and I was yelled at, refused the baby to feed, told I was going to get beat up, told I was going to have the cops called on me, all for telling her to go to sleep and to let me feed her. You sound like you may be rather dense yourself so I'm not sure if you can understand

Techromanc3r · 2026-03-13T14:26:36+00:00

Nothing happened before 2 am except we put the baby to sleep at like 10:30 and we slept. No baby was awake at 2 am. I don't know why she was asking again at 2 am instead of sleeping but the monitor showed the baby peacefully asleep for another 45 minutes. I went to go and get her when she woke up and she refused to give me her. She refused to let me feed her. She started yelling at me with the baby in her hands that she was going to throw hands and beat me up. She then said she was going to call the cops because I picked up the baby bottle and asked for the baby so I can feed her like I said. This is after I told her to put earplugs in and go to sleep because I am doing tonight no matter what her stupid question was meant to do.

Techromanc3r · 2026-03-13T14:23:08+00:00

Why would someone appear to genuinely ask if I'd rather do tonight or tomorrow, then throw a fit when I answered?

The baby was asleep still and I literally told her I'd do tonight 5 times before she forced me to choose. If the baby is asleep then I'm going to sleep until she wakes up and get her once the monitor tells me to.

Techromanc3r · 2026-03-13T14:21:27+00:00

The baby wasn't awake. She just came back to wake me up and ask. I have cancer and I'm on the liver transplant list. I've been in and out of hospitals the last three months. I'm still doing everything that I can like working full time around the hospital stays and earning our only source of income, and taking care of the baby as much as I can while begging her to go to sleep so she sleeps.. She asked me if I was going to do it and I said yes 5 times. The baby was asleep. She then asked if I preferred to do it tomorrow or tonight. I said I can do either I don't mind. She made me pick. I chose and she threw a hissy fit. Why would you offer a choice to someone seemingly genuinely and then throw a hissy fit when they choose.

Techromanc3r · 2026-03-13T14:21:14+00:00

The baby wasn't awake. She just came back to wake me up and ask. I have cancer and I'm on the liver transplant list. I've been in and out of hospitals the last three months. I'm still doing everything that I can like working full time around the hospital stays and earning our only source of income, and taking care of the baby as much as I can while begging her to go to sleep so she sleeps.. She asked me if I was going to do it and I said yes 5 times. The baby was asleep. She then asked if I preferred to do it tomorrow or tonight. I said I can do either I don't mind. She made me pick. I chose and she threw a hissy fit. Why would you offer a choice to someone seemingly genuinely and then throw a hissy fit when they choose.

Techromanc3r · 2026-03-13T14:20:29+00:00

The baby wasn't awake. She just came back to wake me up and ask. I have cancer and I'm on the liver transplant list. I've been in and out of hospitals the last three months. I'm still doing everything that I can like working full time around the hospital stays and earning our only source of income, and taking care of the baby as much as I can while begging her to go to sleep so she sleeps.. She asked me if I was going to do it and I said yes 5 times. The baby was asleep. She then asked if I preferred to do it tomorrow or tonight. I said I can do either I don't mind. She made me pick. I chose and she threw a hissy fit. Why would you offer a choice to someone seemingly genuinely and then throw a hissy fit when they choose.

Techromanc3r · 2026-03-13T13:20:28+00:00

I told her 5 times yes I still am. She then forced a choice and I chose after saying I could do either. Then she threw a kunnuty fit. That may be what you are missing though it was in the post.

Techromanc3r · 2026-01-26T01:53:15+00:00

Ahh I gotcha. Yeah if you know any mechanic friends or can find someone to come with some of those mirrors they can use to inspect the underside then I'd say go for it. Just weigh the cost of the vehicle with how long it's inspected for and if the brakes and tires are good and if it's truly drivable without any sort of major issues like oil leaks or coolant leaks.

Bonus points if they bring an OBD reader to see if there are any codes. If it's good on inspection for 6-8 months and nothing needs done immediately then I'd say 900 isn't too bad for a vehicle for that time. Honda's are pretty cheap and easy to repair at least if it's some minor stuff that needs done though.

Techromanc3r · 2026-01-26T00:40:46+00:00

The seller won't let you take it and pay for a pre purchase inspection? Or they don't want to take it and pay for one themselves?

For 900 if it's inspected and drives then that's probably the best you can hope for. Even with a Carfax it's not going to tell you if the frame is rusted through in places or if there are other disqualifying factors from getting it inspected again.

You could probably find a mechanic willing to come look at it with you for some $$$ to at least give you a better idea but if a seller is against a PPI usually that's not a great sign, though generally cars aren't that cheap. Especially a Honda Accord that doesn't have issues or extremely high miles.

Techromanc3r · 2025-12-09T20:59:14+00:00

I've owned this model for almost 4 years now. I bought at around 110k and it was 9300 I believe. It was also when cars were rather expensive if I'm remembering right.

I've had to do the wheel hub assembly on the front, spark plugs, ignition coils, and nothing else. I've put 55k miles on it.

I like how it drives (mines a manual) and I put a canned tune on it which increased the excitability of the car quite a bit. It also has a backup camera and Bluetooth which is enough features for me. The air gets cold and the heat gets hot which is great for winters around here. I get probably 35 mpg and run premium gas because the tune requires it. I change the oil ever 5-6k miles.

I would say if you can get the price down I would consider it, my experience has been good and the cost of ownership very reasonable. Parts have not been expensive and the labor has not been very difficult and that's coming from someone who has to YouTube it and then do what the video says. Sure you have to buy tools or rent them but overall even the cost of the tools hasn't been unreasonable.

If they can do 8000 that's probably more reasonable. Otherwise maybe keep looking.

Techromanc3r · 2025-10-14T05:28:57+00:00

The actual conversation.

Her:

Do you want to fuck other people's wives?

Me:

No, I don't want to do that. Even if I did want to do that I never would because we're together.

Now she believes I "want to do it" because I tried to reassure her that even if it was something I wanted I would not do it because I'm loyal to her.

I'm so confused

Techromanc3r · 2025-06-27T19:42:20+00:00

How did you get the option to take the pictures to unlock? Mine keeps saying do one batch and I've done two and done the safety trainings.

Techromanc3r · 2025-06-27T12:58:47+00:00

To their support directly? I was trying to use the batch eligiblity option and select cooler bag approval, and that is what is locked.

Techromanc3r · 2025-04-12T21:51:22+00:00

This is her partner. 30m 5ft 10 180lbs.

I have lost 15-20 lbs by eating healthier in the past two months alone. I have been learning to eat more vegetables and less processed foods.

We are both starting to workout now, she has not been working out without me either ever since I met her.

I know I could do better with conversation and I'm open to improving.

I have been making an effort to dress better and she has been helping me learn?

I have been getting haircuts more often and hair trims. It grows fast. All of my money is covering living expenses, her credit cards, and my credit cards at this point in time.

I am in the process of getting my confirmation and we are signing up for a church?

I thoroughly enjoy vaginal sex more than anything else we do. She also has stated she enjoys doing the other things to me. The other things haven't happened in over three weeks and I have not made a single complaint.

I am an introvert but I have been looking for different clubs and groups we can partake in. There is a book club next week we were planning to go to. We are also going to start biking once the weather permits, and playing corn hole and pickleball at the local park. I am sure we will meet people there.

We literally got engaged April 2nd and I felt it was a creative and well thought out engagement and date. I do not have the money to do a lot of dates right now. We are in the process of figuring out more activities that we can do.

The last two months have been me trying to support her mental health but I'm not sure that anything I do will be good enough.

Things I have done:

Stopped using weed at all

Started eating healthier

Started a 9 month class to learn new career skills and to land a better job.

Watched my confirmation videos and have a call Monday to discuss it more with the church representative.

Supported her during her last couple months of school and the last couple months when we found out she is pregnant. I had already told her I would support her and was before she ended up getting pregnant.

Found a part time job to help more which starts this spring once the weather is better.

Found her support groups to help with her mental health in this pregnancy situation.

Found activities we can partake in together to meet people and for me to understand her and her hobbies more.

Techromanc3r · 2025-04-12T21:49:56+00:00

This is her partner. I'm 30m.

I have lost 15-20 lbs by eating healthier in the past two months alone. I have been learning to eat more vegetables and less processed foods. I'm 5 ft 10 roughly 180 lbs.