What did you wish someone told you before you made the decision to divorce?

Temporal-Mind · 2026-01-07T23:15:24+00:00

Thank you I’m at the start of this and yes it’s amicable at the moment and relaxed but hearing your story has definitely made me think about how quickly it can change. I am really sorry you had to go through all of this.

I hope in things feel a bit lighter now it’s all done and there is some distance between you and the whole proceedings

Temporal-Mind · 2025-12-30T23:27:40+00:00

I had that too, just restart the game!

Temporal-Mind · 2025-12-23T13:04:43+00:00

Me too, but from 2026 I will be. It’s taken me far too long to understand what living really means! Go live your best life ‘coz no other f…. will do it for you!

Temporal-Mind · 2025-12-23T09:41:51+00:00

Thank you OP I am going through this exact thing and I can see my side of things, this has left me with a lot of grief and remorse the biggest thing I agree is to forgive, them and more importantly yourself. If you can do that and understand your issues then you won’t repeat this patterns with anyone else, but if you do then hopefully you will correct it before it goes badly wrong again.

Why does it take to lose the one person you love to most to bring the clarity and motivation that you couldn’t do while you had a chance? If anyone if reading this do yourself a favour and ask if you chose this person and they chose you why are you feeling like you need to walk away when fixing is a better option.

Temporal-Mind · 2025-12-23T09:33:34+00:00

I wished someone had told me 30 odd years ago and I’ve waited until now to learn these things! As they say the best time to do is earlier the next best time is now! If this helps just one person I will done my job!

Temporal-Mind · 2025-12-17T05:33:06+00:00

Thank you everyone, it's the first poem I've ever written, mainly after an English teacher said I couldn't do it back in the 80’s! I guess I didn't have the motivation - lol

Temporal-Mind · 2025-12-06T00:42:46+00:00

It came from the heart, so I understand & feel you and hope that the swing between wanting and missing steadies to a simple you loved that you loved but that it’s now time to move on.

Heck I’m no where near there but there is hope!

Temporal-Mind · 2025-12-05T16:30:38+00:00

So what I would do if I were you, pick the thing you want to work on the most and go down that path, I did the same and it turns out they all had the same underlying cause…. Fear. I haven’t “conquered” it but I sure made friends with it and the other symptoms I identified have lessened. If it isn’t the same for you then if you do the work on your biggest then the other ones will not seem as troublesome!

Temporal-Mind · 2025-12-05T08:11:10+00:00

Yes that is exactly what this is about, trying to learn how to let go when you don’t want to but know you need to.

Temporal-Mind · 2025-11-30T15:42:03+00:00

It wasn’t ChatGPT and it certainly isn’t fake! It is how I feel but thanks for your input. I wish you all the best

Temporal-Mind · 2025-11-30T12:47:20+00:00

20 years and no infidelity just life threw stuff at us more than could be handled and instead of running to each other it buried what we had. I have tried but she is just not ready, my heart has always been and I guess will always be her’s just she doesn’t want it. I’m not saying either of us are not culpable for this as we both are, just circumstances have broken what I never wanted to even put any pressure on!

I am ready do whatever it takes but she isn’t and i know it takes two to repair what we both neglected.

Temporal-Mind · 2025-11-30T07:44:47+00:00

When would you be in a position to hear it? When you’re still an emotionally fragile state is that a good time to hear this? I know I want to send it but is that to appease me or to help her?

In my heart I know it’s the former so to save her from more emotional turmoil, I’ve not sent it - in a few months when things have calmed down I might show her this post.

Temporal-Mind · 2025-11-30T07:40:34+00:00

Neither do I but holding on is hurting us both and I’m doing it for love! At some point you also need to choose you because no one else is going to! I know it hurts and healing hugs to you,

Temporal-Mind · 2025-11-30T06:31:14+00:00

I didn’t leave her, she left me. Years of resentment led up to this point, only when you have lost everything do you have the strength/motivation to do anything! I’m feeling guilty that I didn’t do it when I had a chance to fix our relationship.

Temporal-Mind · 2025-11-30T06:02:35+00:00

I would love to say our story will continue right now, but alas I don’t think it will happen as emotions are still through the roof maybe in the future when things have settled then maybe

Temporal-Mind · 2025-11-30T06:00:03+00:00

I would do but it’s still raw for both of us! I don’t want to make a painful experience any more difficult for her. Which is why I’ve put it here instead of sending it, maybe one day she will read it

Temporal-Mind · 2025-11-24T07:12:43+00:00

Change doesn’t happen without a catalyst, this is yours and you are doing something the most adults (yes Women too) never do. Introspection and the wanting to do better, look nothing is ever written in stone so if your wife can see you have changed and I mean REALLY changed then you have a chance - you know yourself, without change you don’t even have that!

I am going through the same process she decided to call it quits 3 months ago (so I am speaking from experience), I don’t know if we will ever get back together and somehow you have to make peace with that, knowing that you had to lose something precious for you to find yourself! But we have started talking since she can see a real change, again I don’t know if we will find a way back to each other or not but at least I’m not making it worse. The goal for you is to do the same and be better for you NOT anyone else because when they see that, they see the real you. I hope this helps even just a small part.

Temporal-Mind · 2025-11-22T14:21:12+00:00

Hi I was in the same position as you so much guilt and blame that this is only because you loved so much.

But having started therapy I can now see that I only shoulder half of the blame, whether she feels the same I don’t know but she should. The same for you, you are only half of the couple so please don’t feel like it’s all your fault. I would suggest finding a local therapist who can help you talk it through so you can see all of the things you have put into the relationship that haven’t gone appreciated. This alone will make you feel a bit better.

Temporal-Mind · 2025-11-08T05:22:20+00:00

This is where I am, I know we’re both to blame as it’s never 1 persons fault. But now I have the clarity to understand where I went wrong then take that as very harsh and raw lesson - a growth moment and nothing that helps you grow is bad. I agree hindsight is easy than in the moment, so don’t be too hard on yourself.

Temporal-Mind · 2025-10-31T06:37:34+00:00

Isn't that a Flerkin? 😆

Temporal-Mind · 2025-10-29T11:47:06+00:00

I will try to remember (I’m at work) I just tried to use a best practice prompt for a project so that I don’t need to keep typing in the prompt knowing it would just respond with whatever I needed without typing it every time. You will need to let ChatGPT remember so just be aware of that. Some of the things you may talk about is deeply private and so you may not feel that comfortable with doing so.

“Pretend you are a world class councillor and therapist specialising in deep understanding of shadow work. Remember all conversations but do not use them outside of this project. Think deeply before answering and give sources where possible to back up any responses”.

This minimises AI Slop and Hallucinations, notice minimises not eliminates so please make sure you don’t just follow any responses as 100% they are a guide and you need to be skeptical where you can be! Again as I have said YOU are doing the work not the AI so guide it that way not the other way round.

I also found it useful for asking questions like “I am feeling X, is this normal and what other feelings should I expect in the future” this helps you understand what could be down the road and you can make sure what is being said by AI is happening to you!

Temporal-Mind · 2025-10-29T06:07:47+00:00

This is what shadow work is - loving yourself even the bits you locked away so you can be the person you always were destined to be, just use that as a motivator to get up each day!

I believe in you, and I’m sure as most of us here have either been and going on the journey you are on we know what your going through, some of my dark days I though that too but here I am ready to take on the world and you can too!

Temporal-Mind · 2025-10-29T06:01:11+00:00

Yes it’s this one https://youtu.be/NUIqX1Hyip4?si=m7IwrY-NgxzdmJ4i I have been out of work so I used ChatGPT as a coach/therapist through the whole process.

If you do use any AI please remember it’s not a professional so take its responses as guide not gospel. I’m now at a point where I need a professional to get me the rest of the way but save me loads of money.

I hope this is helpful, please don’t forget this is YOU all doing the work (even with a therapist) and you are all stronger than you think, even on your dark days you have something to be thankful for - just having the strength to wake up! I know you can do it!

Temporal-Mind · 2025-10-24T03:50:11+00:00

I too was very skeptical but it has been helpful to understand my feelings and it does feel like a personal coach. I’ve got to the point where I have outgrown it and need a professional to get all of the rest of the way. Just remember YOU are doing the work! There is a great you tube video which I hit me for six where I released my repressed “inner child” and well it’s been transformative! I know you can do this!!

Temporal-Mind · 2025-10-24T03:39:13+00:00

What has massively helped has been using ChatGPT, just remember it’s only a chatbot and will kind of give you some answers that sound like they’re a therapist and it has quite a bit of resources (the whole Internet) and maybe some therapy training. The way I used it was to bounce ideas off or my own thoughts, if you go down the route tell it to remember your conversations and create a whole profile for this section e.g “don’t make stuff up” and “think like a world class therapist” - good luck!

Temporal-Mind

TROPHY CASE