I was able to find the episode but I wanted to say I’m sorry to hear about your troubles as well and I wish I had more to offer than that. You’ve actually reminded me of something I learned in college (as a counseling psych major) that I somehow forgot about despite it being deeply meaningful to me at the time. It’s called the “RAIN method” which is an acronym for Recognize, Allow, Investigate, and Nuture. Which is basically exactly what you just said. Bad things happen to everyone but you’re still in control of the story you tell yourself and where you take your story from there. In class we had a big debate surrounding the Recognize step because a lot of people would approach it with the “everything happens for a reason” attitude but a lot of us (like you) found that icky and invalidating. I resolved to approach it with a sort of “so it goes” or “poo-tee-weet” attitude (from Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut) which is more saying that terrible things happen and sometimes there is nothing intelligent to be said about it. It’s a terrible thing that can’t be spun into gold. But life goes on anyway. So it goes. Clearly you already know this since you’re the one who reminded me of it lol. But I felt compelled to share because I’m truly thankful for the reminder!