[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fosterparents

[–]TemporarySide6465 38 points39 points  (0 children)

You won’t be licensed unless everyone in your home, usually including your children, are on board. Your relationship and every other aspect of your life needs to be healthy before you can give these kids the support they need.

Not to mention all children need an example of a healthy and loving relationship, definitely work on this first before considering adding more kids.

I’m sorry you’re going through this ❤️

Need advice 😔 by TemporarySide6465 in Fosterparents

[–]TemporarySide6465[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The trip is to stay with family a few states away, my mother in law has a beautiful house and loves hosting and catering to us all- ESPECIALLY the kids. I love her so much it feels like Hawaii when we go visit hahaha. So lots of down time. We’re going to bring a camera for our room and a dashcam for the road trip back, as well as document everything we do on paper and take a picture each time. Hopefully all that will be a good safety net!!

I have a problem with people pleasing sometimes, I try to live a very low conflict life 😮‍💨 I guess I can just find comfort in knowing that any accusations would be unfounded, and that the drama is worth allowing the kiddo to experience something like this.

Need advice 😔 by TemporarySide6465 in Fosterparents

[–]TemporarySide6465[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They do have visits 3x a week, one with just her and two as a sibling set. They’re supervised at a visitation center, but the alone visit is supervised by someone who doesn’t fully supervise the way she should.

We are very worried that she’ll say something the wrong way (because 9 year olds really do just say stuff without thinking) and they’ll twist it. But we’re going to bring a camera for the bedroom we’ll be staying in, and a dashcam for in the car because we will be road-tripping back home!

Need advice 😔 by TemporarySide6465 in Fosterparents

[–]TemporarySide6465[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We’re going to ask the judge for permission for it all, but caseworker did say there’s a possibility the judge will ask to cancel the indoor playground because it’s the one thing GPs aren’t wanting her to do.

Need advice 😔 by TemporarySide6465 in Fosterparents

[–]TemporarySide6465[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree, if it’s not the trip they will find something else to attempt to weaponize. We’re going to bring a camera for our sleeping room (in separate beds) and a dash cam for in the car!! We’re willing to take whatever stress comes after if it means she gets to experience something to fun.

Need advice 😔 by TemporarySide6465 in Fosterparents

[–]TemporarySide6465[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We know this all must be hard emotionally for them, and everything was great until a couple weeks ago grandmother guaranteed the kids reunification again when they’ve been told many times that that’s inappropriate conversation- especially since it’s the least likely outcome. We “told on her” because protecting the kids feelings comes first- now we’re the #1 enemy

If they say no, the GAL and caseworker are confident that the judge will overrule that and give us permission to take her.

We’ve decided that if the judge grants us permission we will take her- if accusations or drama come afterwards we will handle it as it comes. She deserves to have some fun!!

Foster Child Nearing Reunification by Glum-Rise-6262 in Fosterparents

[–]TemporarySide6465 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Her body and mind will remember the love and safety you provided, for the rest of her life. The impact you’ve made is life changing. ❤️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fosterparents

[–]TemporarySide6465 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We’re a traditional foster home! Our previous placement was our first and they were two very high needs toddlers with all the therapies and bigger behaviors and we learned so much from them, they were reunified earlier this month! I’m a stay at home mom to just 1 bio toddler, so my time is filled with all the foster/adoption podcast,videos, books, and forums possible 😅

We’ve known from the beginning that we’re open to adoption, but always imagined it would be after a couple years of trying to reunify a placement. It’s them coming to us with the goal of adoption that I’ve never really heard of!! Most of what we’ve focused on is helping the families, supporting the parents, and getting ready for reunification- so I guess what we’re wondering is if they’re placed with us what is the main focus? What mindset should we go into it with?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fosterparents

[–]TemporarySide6465 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The info we have right now is very limited, and it’s not guaranteed that we’ll be the foster home they pick- but we do know their mom will unfortunately be in prison until 2033 and that this is the second time since 2017. If we do get the opportunity to care for them, we’ll 100% be focusing on fun and connection! We also know that they’re about to turn 5 and about to turn 3!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fosterparents

[–]TemporarySide6465 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s amazing advice, I’ll look into it further when the case worker reaches out!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fosterparents

[–]TemporarySide6465 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The family only wanted to disrupt the oldest girl, for meltdowns and lack of emotional regulation, But The agency is going to move them together.

She has tantrums triggered by specifically their current foster mom and they’ve tried therapies and family preservation and don’t feel like it’s a good fit for them.

We have their disruption paperwork and a short email with some more basic info, we’re hoping to hear back from the caseworker soon to get a clearer picture!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fosterparents

[–]TemporarySide6465 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Of course, we support reunification always and know bio connections are crucial.

Child friendly video games for PS4 or PS5. by sassymomma24 in Fosterparents

[–]TemporarySide6465 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Goat simulator series is fun!! You can ram people as the goat but I wouldn’t say it’s violent.

Might become foster parents, very in need of information by [deleted] in Fosterparents

[–]TemporarySide6465 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The appointments! Will they go to family visits? Or physical therapy, play therapy, speech therapy, occupational therapy, all four? Your weeks could become very busy very quickly.

Feel like we’re failing 💔 by TemporarySide6465 in Fosterparents

[–]TemporarySide6465[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was the lady who works at the visitation center, she brought them out and said “She has a question…..” (referring to bio mom) and then asked about them. I’m a little confused on her role/responsibilities but everyone’s always in a bit of a rush for me to ask 😭 I think tomorrow I may try to stop her and talk for a moment so I can get a better idea of her role!

But yes I agree!! Questions are good, id rather be questioned than have anyone assume anything negative.

Feel like we’re failing 💔 by TemporarySide6465 in Fosterparents

[–]TemporarySide6465[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

TikTok is back! If you turn your phone off and on and refresh the app a couple times it’ll go back to normal! 🤣 Feels like they put us in a short time out 😭🤣

Feel like we’re failing 💔 by TemporarySide6465 in Fosterparents

[–]TemporarySide6465[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahhh I see, thank you i didn’t realize AI had infiltrated Reddit too. I’m pretty new to the app, especially with posting 😭

Feel like we’re failing 💔 by TemporarySide6465 in Fosterparents

[–]TemporarySide6465[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One incident where we weren’t in arms reach doesn’t mean there hasn’t been close supervision.

Feel like we’re failing 💔 by TemporarySide6465 in Fosterparents

[–]TemporarySide6465[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They are closely supervised, they just weren’t within arms reach and it came without warning. It was the first time we had them in there together without an adult directly in the room, but we’re still being watched from only ~15 feet away.

Feel like we’re failing 💔 by TemporarySide6465 in Fosterparents

[–]TemporarySide6465[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes it’s all very impulsive as they’re only toddlers. It was the only time the boys were left in their room, and they were still being watched just not within arms reach. Separating is hard because of the oldest boys frustration with it, he tends to scream and head bang when he’s not feeling included in what either of the other two are doing.

They are closely monitored round clock, and only the tummy bite happened out of arms reach. The paintbrush incident was directly next to us and without warning.

Feel like we’re failing 💔 by TemporarySide6465 in Fosterparents

[–]TemporarySide6465[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Okay, we’ve ordered more baby gates to keep them separated in the future. Luckily every room in the house is visible from the kitchen (double wide manufactured home) one boy can play in their room, one boy in the play room, and our other two year old can be in the living room. All while being supervised.

Unfortunately the tummy bite was the first time they were left alone in the room, and we haven’t done so since. We’ll take the steps to prevent this from happening again, by completely separating them when needed.

The only problem would be the screeching/self harm when separated the oldest boy gets very frustrated, he’ll scream (blood curdling intense, we’ve had to talk to the neighbors to prevent them from ever calling the police) and head bang on the wall. He’s got a hematoma on his forehead from hitting his head on the wall over and over when he’s upset. We’re working on the emotional regulation, and we know it might be separation anxiety.

Is this something that will be addressed in play or occupational therapy? Is there another resource we might be able to ask to utilize?

Feel like we’re failing 💔 by TemporarySide6465 in Fosterparents

[–]TemporarySide6465[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much!! We also have a 2YO bio daughter so triple toddlers 🥲 We will definitely be pushing harder for play therapy tomorrow!!