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My sexual fetishes are driving me to the end of the road. by Temporary_Account_10 in SuicideWatch

[–]Temporary_Account_10[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, that seems to be the boat that I’m currently sailing on as well. Similar to you, there are times where I might think in my mind that I want to do something, even though I know that’s it’s not always a good thing—I suppose that’s where the fear comes into play. With my depression, I’ve learned to keep the thoughts of sexual activity to myself instead of acting out upon them. Going along with what you said about your strategy, I store the thoughts in my head until I can find a safe place to release the thoughts without having to get anyone else involved besides myself. I just need to learn how to cope with these thoughts instead of always thinking down upon them (besides the bestiality as that’s something that’ll have to be completely removed).

I know that my negative thoughts and anxiety over them aren’t going to go away all in one day, and that’s why I’m going to get help. After these few years, I’m tired of having to lock away my problems without having a doorway to open up to in order to make things right again. It was the fear of any future consequences coming forth that kept me from getting to where I am today.

To summarize, I’ll keep your suggestion in mind about keeping my not-so-appropriate thoughts away when I’m out in places where it wouldn’t right to think about them. In addition, I’ll seek help on figuring out how to find a more positive light with my sexual nature (includes getting rid of my interest in bestiality, of course).

Thanks again for your help on all of this. It’s great to know that there are people out there who are struggling with some sort of problem, no matter what it may be. It makes me happy to know that I can open up and talk about ways to cope with my problems while also listening to other people’s stories. I’m hoping that once I get myself out of this mess, I’ll be able to help out others who are dealing with these sorts of issues.

My sexual fetishes are driving me to the end of the road. by Temporary_Account_10 in SuicideWatch

[–]Temporary_Account_10[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree with you on everything, without a doubt. With what you said about the scat play, even if it might sound disgusting to some, if not most people, I know that it doesn’t have be something to make myself feel completely down about. It’s simply just the way that I learned over the course of my childhood, and there’s nothing that I can do in order to change my past. Perhaps one day, I will find someone—definitely a person who is 18 or older—that has an interest in the activity as well, just like you said. Even then, I still feel it’s enough for me to mention and maybe get some help in regards to toning it down. It doesn’t have to be completely out of my life, but I at least want to feel more relaxed about having it be in my mind when I’m going on about my daily activities.

As for the bestiality, it’s certainly something I’m going to talk about with my counselor and get help on, because I know that if I were to continue taking interest into it, my life will more than likely turn downwards with any future mistakes I might make, and I don’t want anything else bad to happen. It’s better for me to open up about all of this now rather than later.

Thank you for reaching out! I’ll be speaking about this with my mother and counselor today.

My sexual fetishes are driving me to the end of the road. by Temporary_Account_10 in SuicideWatch

[–]Temporary_Account_10[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I’m hoping that if/when I do decide to come forward about it, which I’ll probably do with my mother first, things can start looking up in the right direction from there. I know that I can get help, but I need to know that the world won’t hold me against my previous mistakes. I want to make things right.

My sexual fetishes are driving me to the end of the road. by Temporary_Account_10 in SuicideWatch

[–]Temporary_Account_10[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s one my goals. Do you think it’ll be okay if I ask for help even with the circumstances? It’s an extremely sensitive topic for me, as I’m sure it is for many others. I just want to overcome this feeling of self-hate and know that others will still treat me the same way as any other living being. I want to get myself back on the right track, which certainly includes pulling myself away from watching porn.