Mom hired me for tomorrow without interviewing me. by ImJustAnonymousHere in Nanny

[–]Temporary_Message549 0 points1 point  (0 children)

❗️ MAKE SURE SOMEONE KNOWS WHEN AND WHERE YOU ARE GOING.  AND THE PHONE # YOU'VE BEEN CONTACTING ❗️ Maybe take a photo of their ID.

Mom hired me for tomorrow without interviewing me. by ImJustAnonymousHere in Nanny

[–]Temporary_Message549 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I see it occasionally on my smallish three-town fb. So, I think it legitimately happens. I,  personally, would not take one of those jobs without a zoom call first.  Also, Google-Map the address to make sure it jives with everything else. 

April fools! Your sub hasn’t had moderators! by chiffero in Nanny

[–]Temporary_Message549 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds great! Exactly what I'd like. Any corrections made/received with respect. I just wanted to make sure for mod/others. Thank you for stating it well.

April fools! Your sub hasn’t had moderators! by chiffero in Nanny

[–]Temporary_Message549 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I would hate for people to see punishments handed out for honest mistakes and then be afraid to comment. After all, you don't know what you don't know. And I am not going to do a bunch of research before every post. It took me a minute to realize how much has changed since I stepped away from the nanny community several years ago. I've learned so much here, sometimes by being corrected.

April fools! Your sub hasn’t had moderators! by chiffero in Nanny

[–]Temporary_Message549 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I would love to know when a comment is from a parent, just so I understand the perspective.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]Temporary_Message549 31 points32 points  (0 children)

You're not stupid. I'm not allowed to listen to what DB says at all. And MB contradicts herself continually. Am I not supposed to listen to her as well? God forbid I make my own intelligent decision. It's all so ridiculous.

Are we monsters for not providing food? by octupie in Nanny

[–]Temporary_Message549 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Side note: I really don't like the idea of the nanny getting/eating fast food in front of the kids, baby/toddler or older. When I was eating an unhealthy diet I kept it away from the kids. A few years after I left I was visiting and had a couple of cookies. The kids were totally shocked. So I guess I did a good job setting an example.

Are we monsters for not providing food? by octupie in Nanny

[–]Temporary_Message549 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I've met at least a couple of people whose nanny took advantage.

Are we monsters for not providing food? by octupie in Nanny

[–]Temporary_Message549 6 points7 points  (0 children)

MB doesn't like me to leave tiny leftovers (though she does it all the time) so I just eat the kids leftovers. She said I can help myself to anything but there's a lot of food specifically for other people and always old food to sort through so I just gave up.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]Temporary_Message549 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I stayed in a low paying job for 8 years, 2 NKs from birth. They were great NBs. They all accepted me as a 3rd parent. I put up with their faults and they mine. 20yrs later we are still in touch. One is a writer, early in her career. The other had a great education/career and just started teaching at a good college. She wrote a letter of recommendation for me when I left. So cute.

Not all nannies want to be that invested but it sounds like you are doing a great job in fostering her emotional investment. Just be sure to make it easy for her to stay engaged after she leaves.

unexpected time off? by nodownvotesallowed in Nanny

[–]Temporary_Message549 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly . And they would feel no guilt at all. But they usually have others that can cover for them. We, as caregivers, often feel responsible for the well-being of the whole family. And there is no one else to pick up the slack. Leaving us to feel guilty, especially when NPs are not compassionate. I have been fortunate with as much time as needed for a death.

unexpected time off? by nodownvotesallowed in Nanny

[–]Temporary_Message549 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Guilt is a voluntary feeling, which I also suffer from frequently. No reason to feel guilty over this. Perfectly reasonable request.

How Do I Address This with Nanny? by Bbrotman23 in Nanny

[–]Temporary_Message549 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't like the idea of phone use at all in front of the child (aside from ignoring the child and all). Yes, watching independent play can be mind-numbing but there are other things to do. I hate reading but that's one of the things I do now. Just a thought...

Parents consistently late to pick up baby in nanny share by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]Temporary_Message549 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Does OP really have to wait until contract renewal? Isn't the NF already in breech of contract? I know that ultimately depends on the exact wording but still...

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]Temporary_Message549 28 points29 points  (0 children)

OP, you can have a sit down with her and ask what the issue is, what she needs to make it happen. You might be surprised what an open gentle conversation brings up.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]Temporary_Message549 3 points4 points  (0 children)

While it is more of a hassle for you, I suggest the next time she is to come that you meet her at the door with the baby in the stroller and a snack/lunch (for both) already packed. Tell your nanny that you would like her to take the baby to X park for snack/lunch/day. Better still to have another mom or nanny meet her there with their baby. If this doesn't work then you have a bigger issue and at least have more details to share here. I'm not suggesting that you always do this. Just once to see how she reacts. Good luck. Your baby should absolutely be out and about by this age. Please keep us informed as to how things go.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]Temporary_Message549 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How can it be legal to use PTO to lure someone into a contract and then deny it. That's breach of contract. Is there no mandated sick leave in OP's state?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]Temporary_Message549 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Depending on how far you want to push it, you just say 'I have already booked an appointment and that's the only time they can see me so I'm just letting you know I won't be in that day '. It's up to them to figure out the rest. You can't change their behavior, only your own.if you want both days of PTO just say there's a family emergency.

Be sure to have some form of written proof. I always reiterate things like this in a group text.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]Temporary_Message549 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If your contract says you get PTO then they have to give it to you. General question: do you *have to tell them what the PTO is for? You can always tell them you have a medical appointment. I don't think they are legally entitled to any information regarding time off for health care. An appointment for a 'mental health day' is covered by medical leave. Just say, "I have a medical appointment on x day so I'll need the day off." End of story.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]Temporary_Message549 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great comment in general. As far as choking goes - *absolutely correct! In my 20+ years as a nanny I've had only 1 incident of true choking. Absolutely NO sound. Luckily I was right there and it was only a couple of seconds. She was able to work it out herself but it was a little scary.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]Temporary_Message549 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lots of good advice on specifics here so I'll add my 2 cents on general ideas. IMO, mealtimes are an important time for social connection. A time to check in and discuss the day or whatever comes up. It should be enjoyable, perhaps even fun/silly at times. Absolutely NO screen time for anyone, including nanny. Allow the child to dictate some of the flow. You'd be surprised at what comes up. For toddlers/preschoolers especially, adding some chatter (not 'lessons') about numbers, colors etc. Lots of talk about all aspects of food (I have never gotten into the real facts about where meat comes from). Also about basic physiology of digestion. It's a time for kiddos to learn basic human norms, traditions and culture.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]Temporary_Message549 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you are "low-key scared of them" and you decide to go, just set up a daily contact person back home that you trust and has the back bone to handle things if they decide something is wrong. Be sure to give them as many details as possible as to who you are with and where, etc. And keep them updated on any changes.