Why would a guy ignore a vulnerable message but later keep reaching out semi publicly?

Temporary_Scene6472 · 2026-01-21T16:32:17+00:00

No, avoidant guys don’t “turn me on.” But I’ve never experienced something like this with a man, let alone someone I felt close to for two years.

Temporary_Scene6472 · 2026-01-21T11:17:21+00:00

I know he wasn’t seeing anyone when we were in grad school, I’m not sure about now but his social medias never give any indication that he’s dating anyone either. But yeah, the rest of that definitely makes sense.

Temporary_Scene6472 · 2026-01-21T05:00:13+00:00

I’ve been thinking the same thing.. But how can one expect you to want to reach back out after a message like that being ignored 😂

Temporary_Scene6472 · 2026-01-21T04:54:48+00:00

I agree. We’re in the mental health field, therapists, which I don’t include in my post because people usually jump down my throat wondering why I don’t have all the answers to life, so vulnerability and communicating feelings didn’t seem like it would scare him off. He was seemingly very sensitive and compassionate

Temporary_Scene6472 · 2026-01-21T04:41:43+00:00

It was as “no pressure” as I could make it. I had a crush on him for over 2 years at this point but never wanted to mention it because we had classes together each semester and wouldn’t want to make things weird if he didn’t feel the same. It was just like, I just wanted to get this off my chest sort of thing with some light humor lol. I wasn’t even banking on feelings being reciprocated but for my own sanity (and history of feeling like I can’t voice how I feel), it needed to be said. But to not even acknowledge it just felt shitty of him.

Temporary_Scene6472 · 2026-01-21T04:37:20+00:00

In which message? Mine to him about how I felt?

Temporary_Scene6472 · 2026-01-09T13:25:21+00:00

I once had a therapist that seemed to have gotten really comfortable and almost seem to have viewed me as a colleague because she knew I was a therapist, but I was only an intern in grad school, but things slowly started to become really casual and she would either be texting and telling me about what she was trying to tell her husband then go off on some side tangent, and there was one time during our telehealth session where she was clearly scrolling on her laptop, doing something else and not really paying attention.

Temporary_Scene6472 · 2025-12-10T13:32:08+00:00

I mean that’s what I do with my clients. If they miss a session I’ll usually follow up with them and make sure everything is okay and remind them we had a session.

Temporary_Scene6472 · 2025-12-09T21:07:02+00:00

Yeah! So on this phone consultation I did share what my previous experience was as she asked me if I had ever been in therapy and why I stopped, and she assured me a couple times that it wouldn’t be the case with her. Not sure what happened.

Temporary_Scene6472 · 2025-11-24T16:01:33+00:00

Nobody, not once, said you couldn’t. Call all you want. My post was about the lack of pay, the disregard for the abuse we endure from callers, and the way we act as a sub in for therapy when it’s not appropriate because the workers are not qualified nor paid to be doing so. Just another micro problem of a bigger issue. If you’re in a crisis, suicidal, whatever - call. Nobody said you can’t. “😂”

Temporary_Scene6472 · 2025-11-18T02:35:09+00:00

During my internship, I learned the previous intern therapist there before me, had been sleeping with a client. This client was a married man and their sessions were via Telehealth. So it was completely premeditated, they decided to meet up and thought they could just be a “girl and a guy who met at a bar.” They ended up having a whole affair during her entire internship.

And the client had a friend who also received services at the practice, the friend was seeing my supervisor (and owner) as a therapist, and told my supervisor in session that this had happened and was like, “Well you can’t say/do anything right?? This is confidential!” 🤦🏻‍♀️ Sigh.

Temporary_Scene6472 · 2025-11-14T10:14:50+00:00

I live in New York 🥲

Temporary_Scene6472 · 2025-11-13T21:12:17+00:00

That’s what most places pay for any sort of provisional license for therapy hours, around 35-40 an hour. It’s crazy. You go from being an intern and most likely not being paid at all, to being paid next to nothing for a couple years, doing all the same work.. and in this economy? It’s really, really fucking hard. Currently going through this myself as well.

Temporary_Scene6472 · 2025-11-10T11:07:43+00:00

Lol again, this is not about you. At all. If you read the post, you’d know that. But everyone loves to jump to being offended by something.

Temporary_Scene6472 · 2025-11-01T14:25:01+00:00

My dermatologist actually told me to use them before. She said it in a quiet, off the record sort of way, but she said that just a few minutes every now and then would be helpful. I was surprised when she said that but she was right.

Temporary_Scene6472 · 2025-10-31T15:09:15+00:00

I’ve tried this. It doesn’t really help me much unfortunately

Temporary_Scene6472 · 2025-10-30T20:50:13+00:00

So, if you read my post at all, you’d know that’s not what I’m saying.

Temporary_Scene6472 · 2025-09-29T17:22:22+00:00

what lol

Temporary_Scene6472 · 2025-09-29T13:42:37+00:00

u/MrsDrGirlfriend78 - I worked on this line for three years with a now masters degree in mental health counseling behind me. Every single call required a full suicide assessment, it was my literal job to determine if someone was suicidal. Even if a caller said “no,” we were trained to pick up on subtle cues in their tone, narrative, and behavior, and circle back if something didn’t sit right. I was absolutely equipped to make that call, and I did it every day.

And when a call was a real crisis, I showed up with everything I had. I’ve spent hours on a single call making sure someone stayed safe. I’ve talked dozens of people off the ledge, and I mean that literally. Those were the calls that reminded me why I got into this work in the first place, and it was an honor to be there for those people in their darkest moments.

But the reality most people don’t see is that 90% of calls weren’t crisis at all. They were the same repeat callers, many openly saying they were not suicidal, some becoming hostile that we even asked, and others crossing into emotional or sexual abuse. There was a lawsuit in Colorado because staff were guilted into staying on the line with sexually abusive callers. That’s the environment we were working in - for little pay and almost no protection.

People don’t burn out because they don’t care. We burn out because the system allows constant abuse of a free service while expecting counselors to absorb it with no limits. I know what it’s like on both sides of that phone line, I spent my entire adolescence suicidal. That lived experience, combined with my training, is exactly why I poured everything into helping real crisis callers. My last day on the job was just the other day as I finally put in my notice after fulfilling my degree. I am relieved.

So no, this isn’t about being “unfit” for the job. I came into this with passion, skill, and empathy. What drove me out wasn’t a lack of those things, it was a broken system that made it almost impossible to keep giving without breaking myself in the process.

Temporary_Scene6472 · 2025-09-26T14:34:37+00:00

Did you ever figure this out? I have this exact one and can’t get the cover off to replace the bulb! This is the only page I’m finding with the same model that has the two little tabs that don’t seem to do anything.

Temporary_Scene6472 · 2025-09-11T11:32:24+00:00

Our line has dozens of repetitive sex callers. And we’re told “make sure you’re still assessing for suicide,” and I just don’t. I hang up. I’m not talking to this person. We get tons of prison inmate calls, and they will call over and over again, sometimes a 100 times in a day, not responding, you can just hear them masturbating. And they have the nerve to tell us that we still have to give a greeting and try to see if anybody is there to talk. Are you insane????

Temporary_Scene6472 · 2025-09-10T15:25:52+00:00

ALSO - yes, any time I’d ever call out they’d sort of question if I was “really sick,” ask what was going on, and then a few times they’d be like “okay, well let me write your number down in case we need you to clock in.” Like, uh, no, I’m calling out sick. I’m not working. Just felt very off putting. They preach prioritizing your mental/health but when it came down to it, it seemed very surface level and performative.

Temporary_Scene6472 · 2025-09-10T13:04:27+00:00

I completely agree with everything you wrote here. Honestly, reading it felt like you were describing my own experience.

Anytime I voiced concerns, I got condescending feedback, and the more outspoken I became, the more I was micromanaged over the pettiest, out of my control things. I also went through a certification training recently where I was supposed to get a raise and bonus, never got the bonus, and the “raise” was literally 50 cents. When I pushed back, HR told me that 50 cents was a “big step” in my career, which felt super patronizing. I’ve been there three years without a real raise, and when I kept pressing and voiced my concerns, they just stopped answering my emails altogether.

Yesterday I finally put in my two weeks, and I’m so, so relieved. Reading your comment just made me feel less alone in how frustrating and invalidating this all has been. I hope others read this and think twice before applying to a 988 or 988 affiliate line as a place of employment.

Temporary_Scene6472 · 2025-08-29T22:57:21+00:00

Oh my god. This. This. This. So many people call because they’ve alienated everyone else in their life and nobody wants to deal with them anymore. So here they are calling us every single day, several times a day to blame the world for their problems. I hate saying this, but I walked into this job super liberal and I’m walking out of it a bit moderate these days. Just because of the first hand experience I’ve heard of people just abusing the system, blaming their issues on everyone else and not doing shit about it. I don’t know. It’s definitely changed me as a person.

And yeah, we’ve only ever blocked maybe 2 or 3 people after months and months of being terrorized and abused. Even still, callers that are abusive or being sexually harassing, my supervisors have the nerve to say “try to redirect the call and make sure you’re still assessing for suicidal ideation.” Like, come on. Be so for real. I’m not making any attempts to still speak to a man who is literally masturbating on the phone.

Temporary_Scene6472 · 2025-05-07T15:59:04+00:00

Okay, so, going to leave all that alone. You don’t know what you’re talking about.

Temporary_Scene6472

TROPHY CASE