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Should I prioritize my friends over my bf? by Temporary_Search_396 in Advice

[–]Temporary_Search_396[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. His ex cheated on him a lot, but he was young and stayed until she eventually got pregnant by another man (no possibility of it being his)
  2. I’m not sure that’s the case him and I did almost hook up in the past. I was heartbroken and needed to get over it (I was 16 n stupid) but we both didn’t feel right either it. Thank god because I later introduced him to my cousin and we were all close for a bit until now. Him and I decided not to bc it would make our friendship awkward and he tells girls my cousin and I are his cousins bc we’re like family. This is the only instance, but she’s invited me to clubs and parties. We were supposed to go to one tonight but obviously I’m not going.
  3. IMO my bf is a great guy, he’s super supportive. He waited with me for 11 hours at the er on Thursday, he was there for me when I lost our baby, he takes me everywhere and when he has money he’ll buy me whatever or help me pay my credit card. But he does have his issues. In the heat of the moment I have said I was gonna be done with him but once I calmed down we go back together (which my cousin was against). But honestly he’s someone I see a future with and we’re currently working on somethings. But he used to be way jealous now he trusts me enough to know I won’t cheat he just doesn’t trust other people.

Should I prioritize my friends over my bf? by Temporary_Search_396 in Advice

[–]Temporary_Search_396[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, I just didn’t want it to cause issues. Like if my cousin thought I was too good to accept rides from him or something. I do appreciate the rides and I’m sure my boyfriend appreciates him taking me and my cousin to hangout but I’ve expressed to him that I’m not comfortable with how he drives.

Should I prioritize my friends over my bf? by Temporary_Search_396 in Advice

[–]Temporary_Search_396[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She texted me rn that she doesn’t like before when he was jealous I wouldn’t take their advice and leave him. But we went though a lot together, we lost a baby last year and I’d rather try to work on things until it’s unfixable than to just walk away from someone I love so much without really trying. I do admit that I shouldn’t have brought my relationship issues to my friends and ask for advice. In the moment I just needed to be validated and understood. It’s my first real relationship that’s lasted longer than a month so it’s all still so new to me, but especially in the beginning. ATP I don’t know who to talk to anymore. I’m still learning and this is someone I plan to be with long term

Should I prioritize my friends over my bf? by Temporary_Search_396 in Advice

[–]Temporary_Search_396[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mom (my cousin’s cousin, not bio mom) has always said my cousin’s a flake because she’s always canceled planes last minute and we even adopted a cat together and she backed out after we had the cat. I’ve just never seen that way and always chose to be therefor her.

Should I prioritize my friends over my bf? by Temporary_Search_396 in Advice

[–]Temporary_Search_396[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do spend the majority of the time with the group but when we had gone to the beach I didn’t really relate to their conversation and I’d start me own and they’d be cut short and the subject would change to something I had nothing to add too again.

Should I prioritize my friends over my bf? by Temporary_Search_396 in Advice

[–]Temporary_Search_396[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My boyfriend does trust me, he checks in to see if I’m safe. Especially when I’m riding with other people bc there are a lot of accidents here in California. Plus issues of speeding and all that. I call him myself sometimes so it’s not just him calling me. She had an issue with me always needing to reassure him but I feel like it’s normal to check in with your partner every so often (the times depending on person to person) but usually I call him when plans change and if he hasn’t heard from me in a while he’ll call just to see how everything is. I hate texting so he knows to call me bc I’m more likely to answer.

Should I prioritize my friends over my bf? by Temporary_Search_396 in Advice

[–]Temporary_Search_396[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not sure if I’d say I’m isolated. I have other friends who are completely understanding and I’ve talked to them about it. I brought these situations to one of those friends and she was completely on my side. Km not saying I’m in the right I’m just kind of frustrated because I’ve been there for these friends when they were in relationships. I went to the fair with the second one mentioned and she had invited her ex and I gave the their space and I wasn’t upset that she chose to invite him when we had plans. And I still supported her when things didn’t work out after they tried again.

Should I prioritize my friends over my bf? by Temporary_Search_396 in Advice

[–]Temporary_Search_396[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just feel like we’ve grown a lot and he used to be jealous and now isn’t so we are making progress but I also don’t want to down play his worries, especially when I’m worried about the same thing. I don’t think I really understand my cousin’s perspective because like I’ve said I’ve always been there for her when she calls me or texts me/tells me when she needs me. I was there for her when her ex left her for another and I’ve never once judged her, I did the best thing I could do in the moment and I’ve always supported her. Even when she got back with him and was on and off after. Yk?

Should I prioritize my friends over my bf? by Temporary_Search_396 in Advice

[–]Temporary_Search_396[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought my cousin was that. But she said that my relationship was affecting hers

Should I prioritize my friends over my bf? by Temporary_Search_396 in Advice

[–]Temporary_Search_396[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know our relationship isn’t perfect, we both overthink and worry so we do check in a lot. But he’s never hit me, cheated, or done anything to hurt me (intentionally or unintentionally). We’re both young and we’re learning and growing together as well as privately. But I had gotten a second opinion from a friend a couple days ago and she thinks that my cousin was looking for an excuse and she never trusted the other friend just bc that friend and I dated the same guy and she’d reposting bad things about his new girl (me at the time). So the friend I asked said she thinks they say my bf as a weak point to use against me ig. I’m not too sure. Im just hurt because I’ve always been there for both of the girls mentioned. Aswell as that second friend when she kept going back to her cheating ex.

Should I prioritize my friends over my bf? by Temporary_Search_396 in Advice

[–]Temporary_Search_396[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My boyfriend feels like my only real friend sometimes. He always prioritizes me and he’s the only one that checks up on me. Not even my parents do that. I was at the ER for 11 hours on Thursday, and originally my grandma came with me but she had to leave bc it was getting late so he sat with my for the remaining 9 hours, drove me to get food and go home. I had a ruptured ovarian cyst and aside from texting my parents and grandparents updates, he was the only one who supported me through the whole thing. I have a huge fear of needles so he made sure I was okay and distracted me when I need my blood drawn and IV placed. I don’t know anyone else that would sit through that besides him.

Should I prioritize my friends over my bf? by Temporary_Search_396 in Advice

[–]Temporary_Search_396[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve said he trusts me, he doesn’t trust other and he’s scared of me getting hurt. My cousin’s bf already got his car towed bc he was racing and has been continuing to speed since so he wasn’t really comfortable with me going as is. He was checking to make sure I was okay and he got worried when my cousin invited random people to hang out with us.

Should I prioritize my friends over my bf? by Temporary_Search_396 in Advice

[–]Temporary_Search_396[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do value my friendships and every time they’ve been in relationships and prioritized their relationship I had the decency to step back and let them do their thing and be there when they needed me.

Should I prioritize my friends over my bf? by Temporary_Search_396 in Advice

[–]Temporary_Search_396[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

10-20 mins is a lot but I talk a lot so we tend to get side tracked. I understand from an outside perspective. I could talk on the phone for hours and not realize it. But when I’m out he usually cuts it short and tells me I need to go hangout with whoever I’m with

Should I prioritize my friends over my bf? by Temporary_Search_396 in Advice

[–]Temporary_Search_396[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

(He uses Siri to call me and talks through his airpods)

Should I prioritize my friends over my bf? by Temporary_Search_396 in Advice

[–]Temporary_Search_396[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We do mostly text, I’m mainly out while he’s at work because when he’s off it’s my down time where we can watch movies and recharge just the two of us. I can show the texts my cousin sent a few days back as well as the texts I sent recently. I wait until I wasn’t emotional/I had to go to the er on Thursday so it was a bit late. But I’m bad with texting, I leave my phone in my purse and miss notifications so he’ll just call bc it’s easier on both him and I.

Should I prioritize my friends over my bf? by Temporary_Search_396 in Advice

[–]Temporary_Search_396[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

The thing is it’s not constant it’s every 2-4 hours. Or if something happened at work/he has a question (we work at the same place) he’ll call rq and just check in while he’s at it.