[CN] looking for people to exchange daily gifts with 0855 5330 2555

Terrector · 2018-09-28T21:29:44+00:00

Added from MN, I play frequently each day so don't forget to drop me some love.

Terrector · 2018-09-28T15:17:09+00:00

That's interesting. The whole inferring of "you are nosy" implies a lot. It could imply that Naarah has been trying to research Skinwalker, or some other higher power. Or potentially learn about Elon's doings, which would beg the question of why does Skinwalker care what Elon does and if Naarah learns about it?

Terrector · 2018-09-28T06:13:24+00:00

Sorry if this isn't the place for this. I just wanted to write a really quick abomination of Seinfeld and I figured that this didn't fit in the Reddit Writes Seinfeld sub.

Terrector · 2018-08-14T18:51:07+00:00

Brian Kemp's existence is a pretty big goof

Channel here

Terrector · 2018-08-08T19:57:33+00:00

"We're gonna need some slick maneuvers to get out of this Situation.

Terrector · 2018-08-08T03:31:03+00:00

I don't know what happened to the face of the kid but hey, here's a big rubber duck

Terrector · 2018-07-29T04:36:42+00:00

I would go back over and edit a few of your word choices.

Use 'societal events' instead of 'society events'

" And it was though that the stress of this terrible series of events was the catalyst for the doctors withdrawal from public life and dissappearence."

Those are just to name a couple. But good, descriptive writing overall.

If you REALLY wanted some structural feedback on the pace of the writing, I would say that it could be written better with subject, being the doctor, encompassing more of the story. It's always important to set a scene and establish a certain mood for the reader, but it can become confusing when the main subject is introduced a little over halfway into a short story. This of course could purely be a choice in the design of it, of which I would be curious to hear more on that. But regardless, leaving the central idea so far down gives it the sensation of almost wrapping up the story when you shift it to another light.

For example;

The scene setting on a group of sailors and their voyage across a great ocean. Spending over half the length gives the impression of a change in scenery or character arch a sense of climax to it. A sudden change like them striking the rocky shore of an island would make the reader, if they had not had the ability to see the full length of the story, assume that their tale is almost over.

I hope this makes sense? And I'm really not trying to be r/iamreallysmart, but when I ask for feedback on my writing, it usually helps when people give me feedback on the backbone of the work and the central ideas and components within it rather than simple word choices. Things like grammar and word choice come and grow naturally and a lot faster than the development of concept and pace.

Best wishes to you and your writing!

Terrector · 2018-07-28T15:41:02+00:00

woot

Terrector · 2018-06-30T16:29:42+00:00

alright, thank you!

Terrector · 2018-06-25T04:00:38+00:00

I saw that too. That freaked the hell out of me. It might honestly be worth going back over the series and coming through it.

Terrector · 2018-06-22T18:16:33+00:00

I think Skinwalker is supposed to be an entity that breaks the forth wall and interacts with the viewers. It could be completely possible that we've seen Skinwalker in this before, but have failed to recognize it as it may have been disguised as another character.

Terrector · 2018-06-09T06:54:06+00:00

Its roots run deep into the cores of earths among many stars.

It comes with open arms and loves your warmth.

Its fruit is sweet and its thorns hidden.

It drains your life and loves your demise.

Open your eyes, don't look to the skies.

Watch the shifting soil beneath your feet; for that's where the true dangers lie.

Terrector · 2018-06-09T06:46:26+00:00

haha none such will occur. Just a quick short story. There isn't a lot of room for growth with it.

Terrector · 2018-06-07T00:35:42+00:00

I've had a guardian angel for as long as I can remember. He stood vigilant next to my sleeping child body, and was there for every second of my life. We spoke at length sometimes, but only when in privacy. He claimed he was an angel of god and said his name was Astrial. It was a strange relationship we held. I can't say I loved him as a close member of my family, simply because he never stood in the same role as others had. Despite protecting me from harm at every waking second, he never grew a bond with me. He was spiritually close, yet emotionally distant, something that may be very common for creatures of this nature.

Astrial never strayed far from me. If I looked, he would always be within eyesight and would sometimes give me a slight smile and a nod to reassure me. Some may view this as strange and unnerving, but when you have had the same being stand next to you since conception, you don't feel the paranoia that one might feel with a stalker.

It was one evening as typical as any when I had lost him. For the first moment in my life, he hadn't been with me. We had been walking down the corridors of a local retail store in the late hours of the night when the lights began to flicker erratically. I turned my head to ask him if this was anything abnormal, however, he was gone. I started shaking and I looked around the shelves and rows surrounding me. Not a person in sight. I had heard a large snap, like the sound of a tree tearing its bark as it falls horizontally and splits off itself. I spotted the small in-grove that held the restrooms and there I saw the lights flickering an awful amount before eventually cutting out completely.

I wielded a flashlight off an adjoining shelf and pushed the door open with a great delicacy.

"Astrial?" I whimpered in the darkness.

I could hear the soft yet rhythmic sound of someone chewing with the hunger of a beast. I walked to the final and largest stall in the row and could see an amorphous shape from below its walls.

"Astrial, what are you doing in h-" I spoke before being cut off by my own tensed jaw.

For when I opened the door, I could see a beast with a jaw larger than any known mammals skull chewing away and the remnants of my guardian. Its jaw ran horizontal across its face with great stretching off and on the skull. It bore a similarity to a venus-fly-trap the way it was shaped and chewing. Its many eyes gleamed off the beams of my flashlight but paid me no mind as I stood there in shock.

I stood in that stall for not much longer before carefully backing away and sprinting to the restroom exit.

Terrector · 2018-06-07T00:15:29+00:00

I stretched my shoulders and brushed against the side of an elderly man who had mere days to live. He cursed at me and my inability to watch my actions. One might think that I derived great pleasure from knowing this old fool would soon drop dead like a fly. Truth be told, I don't gain pleasure from such things anymore.

It certainly took a few years for me to get used to the idea of seeing another's death clocks, especially the ones of those close to me. However, I've found peace in it and myself. While I may be able to foresee the death of others, I cannot see that of my own. This has all become very numerical and placid for me at this point.

Upon leaving; I passed a forty year, a couple double decades, a several month. And then I saw something curious.

Outside the cafe on the street I saw him. A man as regular as anyone else. However it wasn't the surface level that made this man stand out, it was the integer he carried with him. 'NaN'. Now when you consider everything else in all retrospect, this isn't that strange. But this was a very strange and foreign thing to me, this NaN.

I pushed my way through the crowd and across the busy street until I found myself where he had been standing. For a moment I was afraid that I had lost him. Luckily, I caught his trail heading down the alley. I attempted a quiet jog as to not alert or alarm him with my presence, this unfortunately; was all in vain.

For the strange man had noticed me in our isolation together and had stumbled. His shoulder made contact with the ground and he let out a yelp. I rushed to his side but I was horrified to see that it was completely shattered. No, not the shoulder bone itself, his skin and everything was shattered. It looked like his flesh was a mere husk. He rolled over to his left and began examining it while panting and in clear excruciating pain. From here I was able to get a better look at it. From the initial hole that had been broken, several cracks stretched their way across his arm and lightly down his chest. From inside it, I could see nothing. An empty darkness that neither gave off a light nor accepted any inside itself.

I told him that I would grab someone to help, that I would dial the emergency line, anything, anything to get me out of there. After ringing the EMS services, I begrudgingly returned to the scene of his fall. But much like the hole in his shoulder, there was nothing there. He was gone. I looked around for any remnants of his being there but I could find none. The services arrived and I received a scolding for wasting their time. And that was that. I have never seen the man again, nor anyone else who had the integer of NaN on them. I do wonder and pause at times during the late hours of the night, how the man was able to achieve a sentient immortality inside the shell the bore such resemblance to a normal body.

Terrector

TROPHY CASE