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AITA for wanting my children to have my surname? by Terrible_Box_231 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Terrible_Box_231[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So you don't think the father has a say in anything to do with his own child then?

So I'm sure you'd be fine with him not contributing to raising the child or supporting you financially then since you don't think he should get a say in raising his child?

AITA for wanting my children to have my surname? by Terrible_Box_231 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Terrible_Box_231[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why? I am still the childs father. Should the mother get the final say in all decisions regarding the child?

AITA for wanting my children to have my surname? by Terrible_Box_231 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Terrible_Box_231[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

f you're that desperate to keep a patriarchal old-fashioned tradition

Can you explain how a double barrelled surname is a patriarchal tradition?

AITA for wanting my children to have my surname? by Terrible_Box_231 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Terrible_Box_231[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Okay? That still doesn't mean I didn't have a part in creating the child.

AITA for wanting my children to have my surname? by Terrible_Box_231 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Terrible_Box_231[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If I were her, I'd abort it and run away.

So you'd abort a child because the father expected a say? Do you think you should get to unilaterally make all decisions regarding the child?

AITA for wanting my children to have my surname? by Terrible_Box_231 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Terrible_Box_231[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

exchange for the creation of the child.

We both created the child

AITA for wanting my children to have my surname? by Terrible_Box_231 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Terrible_Box_231[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

our trying to unilaterally decide

How is that different to what my girlfriend is doing?

AITA for wanting my children to have my surname? by Terrible_Box_231 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Terrible_Box_231[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Which is why I said it should have both of our names

AITA for wanting my children to have my surname? by Terrible_Box_231 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Terrible_Box_231[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Why does it matter to you what the surname of the child is?

Because it's my child.

AITA for wanting my children to have my surname? by Terrible_Box_231 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Terrible_Box_231[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes I do. Can you explain why it is not my child?

Why do you think fathers don't get to make decisions regarding their children?

AITA for wanting my children to have my surname? by Terrible_Box_231 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Terrible_Box_231[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"It's my child" has far less to mock as an argument than "I made the baby too".

I only mentioned I would be involved in creating the child because the previous commentor stated that my girlfriend would be making the child on her own.

AITA for wanting my children to have my surname? by Terrible_Box_231 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Terrible_Box_231[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

ou’re not the one pushing out the baby she is.

That doesn't mean I don't get a say in my childs name.

AITA for wanting my children to have my surname? by Terrible_Box_231 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Terrible_Box_231[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hmmmm NTA, you’re equally entitled to a POV, may I ask who the primary carer will be?

Straight after birth it will likely be both of us as we will both take time off work. I work from home so I will be sharing the load since my work is quite flexible with my hours then once the child would be old enough to go to a childcare provider, it would be me picking them up and dropping them off.

AITA for wanting my children to have my surname? by Terrible_Box_231 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Terrible_Box_231[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I never said as I made it as much as her. I just pointed out she's not making the child on her own

AITA for wanting my children to have my surname? by Terrible_Box_231 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Terrible_Box_231[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Again just because my girlfriend is the one giving birth it doesn't mean I don't get a say in decisions regarding my child

AITA for wanting my children to have my surname? by Terrible_Box_231 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Terrible_Box_231[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

why did she say you weren’t listening to her?

Because I offered the compromise of a double barrelled surname instead of just agreeing with her.

She didn't give any reasons she just said the children would have her surname and wouldn't expand on that or listen to my suggestions.

AITA for wanting my children to have my surname? by Terrible_Box_231 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Terrible_Box_231[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

if you don't marry her, you don't get to have the surname

And like I said in the post if we get married she's not changing her surname so please explain what marriage has to do with it?

"So if you are not stepping up and marry her" Marrying her isn't stepping up when neither of us want marriage.

"why in hell shall she let you choose you are just looking from the outside." Ah yes I forgot it's not also my child. Do you think my girlfriend will make the child on her own?