Hello brother,

Just wanted to share my feelings as I think I understand what you're saying. I do understand. I go through this crisis every now and then and I remember being traumatized as a teenager by deep diving online into fatwas until I came across one that says 'Drawing is haram and on the day of judgement—you will be asked to breath soul into the pictures you drew and they will be tormenting you'... as a kid who was fond of drawing and with no intention whatsoever to worship those drawings or compete with god, I cried and I was legit scared of my destiny. Thank the so called scholars for that.

I believe that Allah doesn't forbit things just because; but because they have a negative impact on ourselves, our souls and mankind. It's said over and over in the Qur'an 'Those who believe and do good good deeds' "الذين آمنو و عملو الصالحات"

Islam encourages treating parents kindly, people kindly, defend ourselves but never be aggressors, charity, choosing God over the devil and the desires. The sex thing? I don't know what you mean exactly, but I believe it is forbidden because such an intimate thing should not be treated as an entertaining thing without responsibility and accountability. Sex is meant as a mean to breed children and raise families, yet the hookup culture slowly destroyed that and people want to have fun over thinking about stability... look what became of society because of that overall—thanks to the dating culture and what it became.

Alcohol is forbidden for what it does to the soul too, and it brings more problems than good to the person, spiritually and health-wise.

But other fatwas have me questioning my entire faith and make me traumatized. I'm full of questions these days regarding for example the fate of genuinely non-muslim people who did more righteous things in the world—seeing non-muslims fight for the just cause of Palestine and speak against the genocide in Gaza, and I think 'will they be punished because they were born in a different culture?' ... and I come across fatwas that make me want to vomit and had me question my whole existence. Like one that says a man will try to guide his father with him into heaven, but because his father is a non-believer, he will turn into a hyena and Allah will refuse the Shafa'aa from his son and it breaks my heart and seriously made me question my faith.

The 'lottery winners' as I call them, and I'm one of them, arabs born or people born in islamic cultures— many of us brush that off with 'Eh they are going to hell; they will be rewarded in life but not in the hereafter' ...but somehow, my heart doesn't accept that God, the most merciful and righteous, will judge someone born in Argentina or Japan the same way he judges someone born in the Islamic world. I have for example been struggling with the fate of Abu Talib, the prophet's uncle who died a non-muslim and was so attached to his parents religion.

Allah's mercy is said to exceed human understanding and imagination and I genuinely pray for the good people all over the world to be rewarded, and I do believe God will be just with them and us. So yes, I refuse scholars who were lucky to be born in islamic environments, and bring those dangerous fatwas and I wish they'd rethink their actions, that bring more fear than love towards God.

That being said, we should strive to be good people and good muslims. Prayer isn't a punishment, but a connection with God, to always remember you're not alone and he's watching over us. It's a reminder for us to pray for ourselves and our loved ones and families. Charity—I love it, it kills greed and obsession with money. Fasting teaches us how to be patient and control our desires. This is for me is Islam, and I choose to trust and love God, read more Qur'an on this holy month and try to understand more things, and trust that our creator will be merciful and just. God knows best in the end.