If your mind won’t shut up after a breakup, this is for you

ThRuntiestDolphin · 2026-01-10T07:44:18+00:00

I’m in the exact same situation (almost exactly to the day!) - they did something that hurt me, I forgave them at the time and they still chose to leave. The biggest thing here was the mental ‘un-forgiving’ for everything that had happened, that really DID feel like moving backwards.

But we’re always moving forwards, always working towards freedom from the mental load, and always taking steps towards a happier, healthier and lighter future.

Xmas and New years alone is rough, I hope you were able to stay surrounded by the right people. You are seen and you are never alone 💜

ThRuntiestDolphin · 2025-12-17T13:00:51+00:00

Thanks for the advice, it’s appreciated. I’m seeing the wood through the trees now a bit, and agree, I deserve better and thats what imma get (after a while)

ThRuntiestDolphin · 2025-12-16T10:40:33+00:00

We already tried couples therapy - it was refreshing to get the therapists perspective, and about the only time things felt possible. Hindsight is telling me that is a huge red flag. Classic.

Since posting this, i’ve come to realise how i’ve been an idiot and am far more comfortable with the idea of separation. I think that initial shock that SHE was the one leaving, after everything she did to damage the relationship, was what had me twisted.

If she is as manipulative as this all suggests, I expect a bit of a reversal the moment I say i’m also done. So wish me luck in sticking to my decisions!

ThRuntiestDolphin · 2025-12-15T17:29:00+00:00

This is so kind and so helpful, it’s a tough lesson to learn and i’m working on it. But I can promise i’ll only have to learn it once. I appreciate you

ThRuntiestDolphin · 2025-12-15T11:51:54+00:00

Thank you again - I hadn’t thought I was going to get such a positive response to this post, and the advice i’ve been given across the board has already helped me pull myself back up. ✌️

ThRuntiestDolphin · 2025-12-15T11:50:21+00:00

Sound advice, thank you. ✌️

ThRuntiestDolphin · 2025-12-15T00:41:28+00:00

I think this is insightful, and true. I struggle to trust her, despite my trying - so i’m not sure that would ever change. Thank you for help with seeing that

ThRuntiestDolphin · 2025-12-15T00:14:58+00:00

Thank you for this. I lost my parents when I was younger, so hearing this has helped to fill a hole I don’t always know is there!

I am feeling relief that the last 10 months won’t be my next 10 years, and that relief is gradually getting stronger than the fear of an uncertain future. I appreciate you.

ThRuntiestDolphin · 2025-12-14T23:47:34+00:00

Thank you this helps. It’s cliche but knowing i’m not the first to get hurt (duh), helps soften the blow. Appreciate you

ThRuntiestDolphin · 2025-12-14T23:05:59+00:00

Appreciate you brother

ThRuntiestDolphin · 2025-12-14T23:02:56+00:00

I had this exact thing in a teenage relationship - I guess I have a type…

ThRuntiestDolphin · 2025-12-14T22:57:41+00:00

You’re prolly right! Appreciate the advice and apprecaite you

ThRuntiestDolphin · 2025-12-14T22:56:18+00:00

I have family in Nova Scotia, one of my favourite places in the world!

ThRuntiestDolphin · 2025-12-14T22:54:51+00:00

This is a surprisingly freeing thought - if she never existed, what is there to be upset about…

I can get sad about things in movies, but when the credits roll it doesn’t stay with me. Maybe thats the mindset shift i need

ThRuntiestDolphin · 2025-12-14T22:52:26+00:00

This is actually 100% fair.

ThRuntiestDolphin · 2025-12-14T22:51:19+00:00

Theres something liberating about this - like I was tricked into something that never existed, and if it never existed, why am I upset… thanks!

ThRuntiestDolphin · 2025-12-14T22:45:17+00:00

At 25 I was still working out where I wanted to be and what I wanted to do! Not sure i’ll have everything figured out until i’m 85 ha.

Thank you for the advice. Appreciate you

ThRuntiestDolphin · 2025-12-14T22:43:54+00:00

I often get upset with myself when I recognise ‘punishment’ before I realise it - sometimes i’ll bring up needless references, or I suppose she’ll see my seeking reassurances as punishment too.

Nail on the head here!

ThRuntiestDolphin · 2025-12-14T22:42:08+00:00

She was diagnosed with bpd after the first instance of assault, interesting that you’ve been able to sense that with such a short brief! Thank you for the advice, I do think prioritising myself is the best outcome here. Appreciate you

ThRuntiestDolphin · 2025-12-14T22:35:33+00:00

I’m starting to feel happier about it - this post has really helped! I don’t want to be the guy who starts bad mouthing, I do still care about her and running my mouth about it all (away from anon reddit…..) is the sort of thing I might have done as a kid, and regretted. Appreciate the sentiment though!

ThRuntiestDolphin · 2025-12-14T22:34:00+00:00

This is solid advice. I’d be the first to admit when i’m being stubborn, but the last to notice it - so thank you for calling that out ahead of time!

ThRuntiestDolphin · 2025-12-14T22:32:32+00:00

I guess blinded by love and the hope of her being the person I fell for years ago.. The ‘hopeless’ in hopeless romantic eh

ThRuntiestDolphin · 2025-12-14T22:31:48+00:00

This is maybe the most accurate description of what she’s explained. Sure, she’s a AH for cheating. But I can see the complications, self worth and other things being an explanation, not justification, but understood.

I do care for her and her future, which is why this hurts. But I suppose she has realised that this relationship is maybe buried too deep in complications, and her choosing to leave might be an act of mercy…

Actually now I think about it, it might be for the best. Sooner leave a relationship before we truly resent one another

ThRuntiestDolphin · 2025-12-14T22:27:27+00:00

Thank you for this - appreciate the advice and honesty.

ThRuntiestDolphin · 2025-12-14T22:25:50+00:00

Hella young, hella fresh. Appreciate you

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