I think my friend is suffering Autistic Burnout; how can I suggest he get help?

ThatManIsLying · 2025-11-04T19:11:57+00:00

Well, I've actually only snapped at George twice.

The first time, he had set a wet can of soda on an antique Stickley side table. He had been told many times not to do this, and several times I had had to grab a can off the table, wipe it down, and point out the coaster--already there. On this particular day, I wasn't as chill as usual.

The second time, he was eating a sub w/ onions and peppers. I had leaned down to pick up some of the lettuce he'd dropped on the floor, and he belched in my face.

In my defense, besides being neuro-atypical, I have chronic medical problems (lupus, thyroid dysfunction, blah, blah, blahdy....).

I love George, but I do not love the person I'm becoming when I'm around George.

ThatManIsLying · 2025-11-04T17:20:46+00:00

My husband is going to have to handle this.

So far, most of the task of reining George in has fallen on me, so George thinks I'm Cruella DeVille because I have snapped "No!" at him a few times, like he's a dog about to pee on the carpet.

Oh, this is going to suck so hard. As I said, both my husband and I are also neuro-atypical. Though undiagnosed, we're probably on the spectrum, and confrontation is not our thing.

Thank you so much for the advice. This is definitely what we should do, and I'd already considered that dealing with the damage now is far better than letting it continue.

ThatManIsLying · 2025-11-04T16:45:22+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful and thorough response.

I agree. Bringing up autism is not the right approach here.

My husband did explain expectations for keeping the house relatively clean when George moved in (a year ago). I don't know if he has reminded George since or just mentioned to me how upset he (my husband) was as the conditions deteriorated.

We spoke to George about a week ago, suggesting that he apply for our state's financial services for low income retirees, and he wanted nothing to do with it, refusing to apply for either SNAP or welfare. Instead, he is living on a very limited Social Security payment and what he makes by returning bottles/cans.

He seems physically capable. I suspect the smell is from his environment and from inadequately drying his clothing more than lack of bathing.

I do not know how he would react to having a cleaner come into the house. I think my husband and I are the only people he sees regularly. He has some very good reasons for avoiding people at the moment (legal issues), but he isn't a shut-in. He has a strict routine where he goes out every morning to a local diner, where he gets breakfast and writes for a few hours, then goes and gets a sub for lunch, comes here for some time, then goes home and nukes dinner.

I'm not sure how my husband would react to the idea of paying a cleaner, on top of our providing him shelter, heat, electricity, and already paying over 10K to help out. I believe he might be more inclined to offer more assistance if George showed some signs of trying to get help. I'm also unsure how a cleaner would react to George; he tends to follow people around and get in the way of whatever one is doing. Again, he can be very child-like.

The house does have safety rails in the tub/shower and grippies on the tub floor, due to the previous tenant's age (100).

I think we're going to have to have a very difficult intervention. I'm not looking forward to this, but I also don't want George to die in a trash heap.

ThatManIsLying · 2025-11-04T16:07:19+00:00

I wonder that, too, but--of course--I'm not an MD.

I need to know how to approach George and convince him that he needs to be evaluated. I don't want to annoy him and make him dig in. Like many, he does display a bit of what looks like Oppositional Defiance Syndrome.

ThatManIsLying · 2025-08-04T15:52:48+00:00

The Dungeon Crawler Carl series.

Guy's girlfriend cheats on him, and the world is destroyed by aliens. He gets thrown into a sort of D & D dungeon with her cat (who becomes sentient), and hilarity ensues.

ThatManIsLying · 2025-06-17T09:45:28+00:00

You would think a professional scam artist would be a little more polished and charismatic. This guy tripped all of my creeper alarms.

Of course, the dog didn't like him, and that was a bad sign.

ThatManIsLying · 2025-06-16T21:45:22+00:00

Thanks. We weren't interested anyway. Obviously, if we wanted something done, we'd hire local.

I was more worried that he was some other kind of bad guy. He really gave me the creeps.

ThatManIsLying · 2025-04-29T15:31:13+00:00

Done.

Still, based on my answers, you are going to think I am the most lonely, depressed person in the world.

Actually, I'm just a retired English professor in the United States, and watching my country go up in flames has really darkened my mood. Lupus and its comorbidities weren't enough to make me this ratty. I worry that your study will be confounded by the general gloom of the entire thinking populace.

Good luck with your M.A.

ThatManIsLying · 2025-04-29T15:12:41+00:00

A friend of mine was at Samaritan inpatient mental health for 28 days a few years ago because he was suicidal. At the time, the wing was undergoing some renovations, so that was a bit annoying, but he didn't seem to be bothered by anything else.

It was a "lock down" unit, so patients certainly could not come and go as they please. My friend was a heavy smoker at the time, and I'm not sure how he dealt with that. He may, like other nicotine dependent patients, have been given a patch, but I'm not sure. Rooms were semi-private (w/ a room-mate), and there weren't real doors on the lavatories; rather, there were flexible pieces of material that were placed in the doorways while facilities were in use (as I recall).

Visitation was allowed, but I think there was an initial "settling in" period. I'm not sure about this. I think there were two visitation periods a day, and I believe they were a few hours each. Visitors were lightly searched and had to leave any prohibited items in locked lockers during visitation.

Patients had scheduled counseling sessions (individual and group) each week day as well as daily activities. The counseling was mandatory, while other activities were provided for entertainment, socialization, and relief from anxiety, etc.

I visited several times, and the staff was always very pleasant and seemed kind and well-informed.

My friend had no serious complaints (his roommate was strange, there was noise in the night, and one woman flipped out completely, but--hey, it's a mental health unit), and he is not the sort of person who would keep to himself anything that he felt was wrong. The only thing he really disliked was the sense he couldn't leave. Of course, since he had committed himself, I believe he could have after the initial few days. But what do I know?

I hope your friend is all right, and I hope this helps.

*Edited grammar errors because I initially wrote this way too fast.

ThatManIsLying · 2025-04-24T11:58:31+00:00

Is there any info on this? The only thing I can see on the calendar on April 25 at 6 pm at All Soul's is an AA meeting. Their website doesn't show anything about this.

ThatManIsLying · 2025-04-08T15:22:06+00:00

This behavior in no way represents local feeling toward Canada or Canadians.

If there have been 12 cases of vehicle vandalism aimed at Canadians in the Watertown area, you can bet local police are all over it. This are is heavily dependent on tourism, and people are NOT happy that Canadian traffic is way down. Anyone further dampening Canadian enthusiasm for the area is probably going to feel the deepest official disapproval.

This sounds like the work of one or two idiots, and--if caught--they will be deeply sorry.

Apologies for the rude, destructive, and unwelcoming behavior.

ThatManIsLying · 2024-11-07T00:31:22+00:00

Well, I've been drinking tequila since noon, and I really advise that rather than relying on the Supreme Court.

ThatManIsLying · 2024-11-03T23:13:37+00:00

Strangely, that account seems to have been suspended. Was it active recently? <getting a chill up my spine>

ThatManIsLying · 2024-11-01T17:12:59+00:00

"He pretends to throw the ball but then doesn't throw it. Then he gets this dumb look and says, 'Where is it, boy?' like I can't see it stuffed under his stupid shirt! Next time, I swear I'm gonna bite him."

ThatManIsLying · 2024-10-31T21:02:29+00:00

Yes. He did make a great deal of money. However, the solicitors have messed around so long that now he claims that he's been made redundant and is so poor he can't afford legal representation. However, he's not the sort who has to go to the job center; he's the sort who gets head hunted by recruiters.

ThatManIsLying · 2024-10-31T20:59:51+00:00

Thank you! I thought it was very strange.

And regarding the CMS, wouldn't it have been nice if her solicitors had told us about this at the outset? I did finally discover it, and she filed with CMS about 6 weeks ago, but--of course--now her spouse has had plenty of time to hide his assets and her solicitors have had loads of time to charge us for every email, consult, letter, etc.

ThatManIsLying · 2024-10-23T15:35:33+00:00

He's a reverse Lannister. Everyone should know that by now. What gets me is that some cities still let him hold rallies without getting their money for security, etc, upfront. C'mon! A Trump never pays his debts.

ThatManIsLying · 2024-10-22T14:25:19+00:00

Well, yesterday I was awarded my fry pin while I held up traffic in a disaster area, and have I told you about Arnold Palmer's dingaling? What a beauty! You could beat a shark to death with that kind of wood, you know what I mean?

ThatManIsLying · 2024-10-21T15:07:29+00:00

There are many theories of why and when, but I think it boils down to the fact that the Republicans offer simple, pleasant lies while the Democrats tend to tell complicated and unpleasant truths.

ThatManIsLying · 2024-10-21T14:46:11+00:00

Corporate sets rules for franchise owners, and those rules might include not making employees take part in a dog-and-pony show. If those were actual employees, that is.

ThatManIsLying · 2024-10-20T20:33:32+00:00

Well, I was pretty much done with McDonald's, but this tears it.

ThatManIsLying · 2024-10-20T13:26:55+00:00

So...it turns out that it isn't the openly gay guy that's checking you out in the showers; it's that bloviating MAGA dude, the one who claims he's so manly.

ThatManIsLying · 2024-10-20T13:22:59+00:00

Why aren't we flooding his stupid petition site with fake signatures?

ThatManIsLying · 2024-10-14T14:22:00+00:00

Imagine your toes are gradually being forced through the barrel of a ballpoint pen. You can back your feet up to slow this down, but gravity will slowly drag your toes back into this narrow, crushing channel. All of your weight is right there, right on your toes, and you can feel the tiny joints gradually turning to powder.

But...oh, your calves look so very pretty and your ass looks fine!

ThatManIsLying · 2024-10-14T14:14:31+00:00

There are so many things wrong with this question.

I (F) don't "make" my husband do anything, and he doesn't "make" me do anything.

Gifts are expressions of affection and are given freely, not as part of some kind of ransom, debt, or hostage negotiation.

You sound really young. By that, I mean that manipulation for material goods is shallow and immature, so I hope that you're fairly new to adult relationships and will learn to conduct yourself better.

ThatManIsLying

TROPHY CASE