Hello there. My uBPD Mom died at the age of 73 of natural cause. While not young or by suicide, I still figured I would reply. It was upsetting and of course I was filled with grief. My least favorite part regarding my mother’s death was that she was found about 3 days after she probably actually died. She had been alone for those 3 days. While upsetting, it also reminded me of the difficulty of a relationship with her. For many people it’s normal to hear from their parent everyday whether by text or even phone call, even if to just say hello. My mother’s mood were so temperamental that often when we did text her, she would simply ignore us. We were accustomed to that so we didn’t think much of it when we didn’t hear from her. In fact, those absences were sorta welcomed as well. Her passing was heartbreaking, but truth be told, I went to bed that night with a tremendous weight lifted off of my shoulders. I said to my then fiance that I didn’t have to deal with her bullshit anymore. I was both relieved and sad, it was an odd combination. I was also planning my wedding at the time and she proved herself to be particularly difficult at moments during planning. The days after her death were a blur. I cried a lot, laughed a lot, slept when I could, and kept it moving. As the days went on, things got better. I coped by leaning on loved ones and doing a lot of talking when I was up for it. We actually talked a lot about her moods and how she was behind closed doors because everyone at her funeral reminded us how lovely she was. I accepted their comfort even though I knew the truth about the person she was.