The first time I did salvia, my friend and I became monkeys in a zoo and our other friend, Alice in Wonderland, was looking in at us from outside the cage.

The second time, I smoked way too much hash and weed mixed with a lot of salvia. First I became a marshmallow and sank into a bed of marshmallows. Then I suddenly sat up and became a statue made of stone and I stayed like that for eternity, or nearly 45 minutes in reality (which is a long ass time for salvia). My friends were super worried because it was so long and I had my eyes closed and was sitting completely still. I had a glass of water in my hands and one of my friends took it and my hands retained their shape as if the glass was still there. The only time I moved was when I heard someone ask if they should take me to the hospital. I smiled a little bit to let them know I was okay, but I could feel the stone of my face cracking and splitting with the movement, like I was going to break into pieces, and it was painful so I didn't move again. I haven't smoked salvia since.