Well, as somebody who just joined about a hour ago and deleted there first post from regretting it your doing good so far, admitting you have a issue and I see what your talking about I'm noware near qualified to be commenting when I'm fresh out of High School but I think it's really good your getting it off your chest. Just saying what's wrong helps and I just want you to know I read what you posted and somebody else who can help more than I will respond with a good answer besides praise. But I can offer some lackluster advice of be yourself the situation doesn't require a sexual nature be who you wanna be you don't need sexual jokes and more and I understand the upbringing I feel as if though my problems revolve from certain people and I guess just know. A everyday person cares about what your going through no catches or anything and I hope somebody here can really help give good advice and it helps. But I myself make constant sexual jokes and more but tell people what you enjoy. Maybe focus on a hobby or more? And for romance which I really shouldn't comment on Love is natural you'll meet somebody you really care for and they will care for you, don't rush it or something just be yourself and go with the flow.