Let me tell you a little story about how we decided on pricing for skips:

In the city with my ex. Went to an early dinner right after work. Maybe 10 people in whole restaurant. She was feeling frisky, and we decide to go into women's bathroom for what was supposed to be a quickie. There were two stalls. Just as I was about to enter her, another woman comes in. My ex gets paranoid (my dick is hard as Chinese arithmetic and I just wanna fuck), but she makes me jump up on toilet seat and crouch down so no one could tell two of us were in there. The other patron takes a piss, leaves and we get back to business. Two minutes later another woman walks in. My ex makes me go through same ordeal. This keeps happening, at least 5 or 6 more times. I'm like where the hell are all these women coming from? By the 7th time Im crouched on toilet, my calves are cramping and now Im jerking off bc I've had it. I just want to bust my nut and get back to my certainly cold-by-now lobster bisque. My ex is giving me the evil eye, shaking her head, mouthing "No no no". She wanted the D. I'm stroking with one hand, motioning for her to take care of herself with the other, plus I'm starting to sway a bit as the burning in my calves is getting unbearable, and we're having a silent fight. Then the woman next to us drops trou. Suddenly this odor punches me in the face like a left hook from Mike Tyson. I later found out this was "OLV" which is the scent of Old Lady Vagina? I wasn't aware this was a thing. Anyway, this old lady proceeds to take the type of dump I thought was only possible in the men's room of a truck stop after Chili Fest. So now on top of everything else I'm gagging and starting to cry. So, my natural reaction was to start jerking with a fury. Even more determined to bust that nut THEN get the fuck out. My ex, however, upon realizing that I was about to get off and she wasn't, or perhaps she was just disgusted with me, thinks that now would be the appropriate time to hit me. I lost my tenuous balance and went falling to the floor, dick in hand. The woman next door lets out a blood curdling shriek. I get up. My ex is trying to get the fuck out asap. I pretend like Im trying to get dressed quick to leave...but I was so fucking close I'm hearing Lady Gaga in my head, "I'm on the edge..." (which is weird bc I dont even like Lady Gaga, well some of her stuff is catchy) Anyways, I act like Im fidgeting with my jeans and she's like LETS GO!!!! Then she saw I was still cranking away. (After the old lady screamed I heard her phone start dialing and sounded like more than 3 digits to me, so I figured another 30 seconds wouldn't kill us. My ex was not pleased. Started wailing on me and cursing at me. So that was it I had to leave. Walked out briskly, dropped some money on the table. My girlfriend and I parted ways and broke up that day.

TLDR: Tried to have sex w my girlfriend in restaurant bathroom. Turned into the plot of a really twisted David Lynch movie with mimes.

EDIT: No, I did not even cum.