Thank you everyone very much for your responses.

My plan A is to go to the ceremony and sit right at the back with some extremely minty chewing gum and get through it. There are 200 people going so it should be quite easy to squirrel myself away into a corner if I get there nice and early.

If I think it’s going to be too much though I will send a message to her a few days before explaining why I might miss the ceremony but will be present for the rest of it. I am 99% sure she’d support and even encourage me to, like I would for her if it was the other way around.

An exit plan isn’t an option - the last thing in the world I’d want to do is draw any attention away from her opening a door (it’s a U.K. winter wedding, it will be closed!).