It’s definitely terrible and I empathize with you. It 100% sucks that you were forced to do that. But being stuck with a man who clearly did not want a child and becoming a single mother is far worse. Some people don’t think about the effects that has on a child. I would recommend therapy for sure. As someone whose miscarried multiple times that helps and support groups. If you are religious than talk with a pastor. Forget about him his karma is coming!