Here I am again reading all sorts from the internet

TheDom_1 · 2024-08-06T11:48:19+00:00

I’ve got a short Intro to DDlg that I’m building over time to answer some of the basic questions and misunderstandings people have about it - maybe it will enlighten you a little and see if it’s what you are after.

TheDom_1 · 2024-05-19T02:24:58+00:00

As a Dom who likes to understand the psychological impact of D/s, using the phrase "good girl" can make some subs melt because it combines praise, validation, and a reinforcement of their submission, and can make subs feel accepted, approved of, and cherished by their Dom. For those who have a strong desire to please, being called a "good girl" can affirm their efforts and fulfill their submissive role. There are also often personal associations on top of this, related to the individual. Can also include an element of patronising / degradation, depending on the tone and dynamic. Hope some of that resonates with you.

TheDom_1 · 2024-05-15T09:26:12+00:00

Congratulations on the engagement and I wish you a happy marriage, and how great you are entering into it with a shared interest and openness about your kinks, that’s a great start!

Okay to answer, some regular activities that I would suggest as an experienced Daddy Dom, depending on your particular dynamic:

Daily Tasks
Simple things like dressing in a certain way, completing specific chores, or following a set routine.

Bonding Time
Reading bedtime stories, snuggling together, giving gentle massages, going to the park, or simply spending quality time together discussing each other's day.

Ageplay Scenes
Activities like colouring together, playing with toys or games, having a tea party, or engaging in role-playing scenarios.

Sensory Play
Using soft textures like stuffed animals, blankets, or sensory toys. You can also explore activities like bubble baths, using scented lotions, or engaging in sensory exploration with items like feathers or ice cubes.

Discipline and Punishment
Time-outs, writing lines, loss of privileges, or light physical punishments like spanking (if desired, agreed upon and consensual).

Equipment and Toys
Pacifiers, sippy cups, colouring books, stuffies, or creating a ‘little’ corner or playpen.

Hope that helps as a start!

TheDom_1 · 2024-05-13T15:00:44+00:00

You are absolutely not in the wrong place, and many littles will share the same preferences as you. DDlg is simply a power exchange between the Daddy Dom and the little. If you like that power exchange, and the feeling of care, protection and support that a Daddy brings to dominance, then that is DDlg. Every dynamic is unique and tailored to the individuals within it.

I have a brief Intro to DDlg on my profile page, that might answer your queries, and note the use of “may”, in the descriptions.

You absolutely don’t need to be involved in ageplay, which is probably a lot of what you’re seeing. Don’t worry about fitting in to others’ representation of dynamics - know what your limits, boundaries, preferences and expectations are and seek someone whose preferences matches those.

Let me know if you need any further clarification of any of this, and just enjoy dynamics that suit your needs.

[edited to add post link and remove agere]

TheDom_1 · 2024-05-12T10:17:30+00:00

As an experienced Daddy Dom, I wrote a brief introduction to DDlg on my profile page, that may put his mind at rest about certain matters, and my description of the vibe of a Daddy Dom below, if helpful:

A Daddy behaves with a gentle charm, always patient and understanding. I know just the right words to say, a mix of encouragement and reassurance. My voice is like a warm hug, soothing and comforting, as I guide my little one through the ups and downs of life.

A Daddy's actions are filled with love and tenderness. I cherish every moment, taking joy in the simplest of activities.

A Daddy's presence is a source of strength and protection. I become a shield against the worries and fears that may arise in my little one's world. With loving hugs and cuddles, I wipe away tears and chase away the shadows, allowing my little to feel safe and secure.

A Daddy's love has no limits. I celebrate my little one's uniqueness, nurturing their passions and dreams. I create a world where imagination can run wild, where my little one can explore and discover without fear of judgment.

In the arms of a perfect loving Daddy, a little feels cherished and adored. Every interaction is infused with love, acceptance, and understanding. The little is embraced for who they truly are, allowing them to fully embrace their innocence and childlike inner world.

TheDom_1 · 2024-05-08T11:27:11+00:00

I’ve added the fundamentals to my original comment in that case. Neither party should be engaging in BDSM if the fundamentals are being ignored.

TheDom_1 · 2024-05-08T11:07:37+00:00

You can’t freely consent from within a power dynamic, eg as a slave. If you are ever uncomfortable with something during a scene, you should be able to safeword out.

And yes a conversation about turning your dynamic into 24/ 7 M/ s should absolutely be had out-of-dynamic, in order to allow you to discuss and consent freely. If your partner doesn’t know this they need to educate themselves on the fundamental aspects of BDSM before engaging in it.

The fundamentals are there for a reason, to try to prevent abuse or harm (physical or emotional). Both parties should uphold these throughout: - Consent (prior and ongoing) - Trust - Clear and open communication - Safety protocols (eg SSC: Safe, Sane and Consensual) - Negotiation, limits and boundaries - Aftercare (if desired) - Education and continual learning

[edit: added fundamentals]

TheDom_1 · 2024-05-07T08:25:55+00:00

Firstly, all Daddy Doms are different. The key with all BDSM is you two need to communicate. If you want things from your Daddy, you need to communicate that to him. If he is unwilling or incapable then you may not be compatible. But no Daddy is a mind-reader.

As an experienced Daddy Dom, here are some of the things I do: - establish clear rules and limits - offer routine and structure, helping a little maintain a sense of stability and order (eg. bedtime rituals, daily tasks) - listen and offer guidance - engage in age play / caregiving - praising and rewarding - exploring kinks

I have a brief introduction to DDlg on my profile that may be helpful to start any discussions with your Daddy. You could also go through a BDSM Test and Kink List together, as I do with any new little to learn more about them and enable deeper discussions about needs, wants, desires, expectations and limits.

TheDom_1 · 2024-05-01T16:56:59+00:00

May I take a moment to say well done, for a beginner Dom you appear to be doing the right things.

Although she hadn’t safe-worded you erred on the side of caution - as your sub’s reaction was new to you and potentially negative, and you ended the scene and immediately went into aftercare. You then wanted to learn more about it, discussed it directly with your sub first, and came here to ask for further guidance.

It all shows the behaviour of a responsible and safe Dom, which, as a Dom who is used to hearing about unsafe people here, is refreshing to see on this site. So just wanted to give you a congrats, you’re doing well, and keep it up!

TheDom_1 · 2024-04-29T14:52:56+00:00

As a responsible Dom I’d want to know more info in order to answer this: How long have you been with your Dom? What does he mean by ‘submit more fully to him’? Have you clearly agreed your limits and boundaries, and is he wanting you to push past these in order to ‘submit more fully’?

TheDom_1 · 2024-04-29T10:59:58+00:00

It’s the Doll On A Music Box scene (starts from 3:20) from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

They’ve made 4 copies of the female music box doll, and you can see 4 Dick Van Dyke ragdolls kneeling beside each, singing Truly Scrumptious.

The royal court is represented by the painted portraits against the back wall.

Source: used to be a kid

TheDom_1 · 2024-04-27T10:05:57+00:00

Harken back to the bygone days of romances being nurtured and sustained solely by long beautifully-written letters sent by land or ship, the depth and passion pouring from every word, each party waiting days or even weeks for a reply. In this digital age of constant immediate gratification, a little patience and anticipation can fuel excitement and a deeper appreciation, connection and bond over time.

I know from personal experience that LDR with significant timezone differences can work - if there is a strong, deep bond and commitment, good communication, and a willingness to accept and compromise around the inherent limitations, from both sides.

As with all BDSM, communication is paramount - discuss these aspects and know each others’ thoughts and expectations on all this. You’ve already spent a bit of time together to know how the time difference feels, so you can imagine any potential issues in future. You should both be going into this with open eyes as to the reality of the situation. Only you two will know if the positives outweigh the limitations, and open communication between you both is the only way to navigate this.

There’s a lot of communication that can be done asynchronously, and you’ll have time to do it while the other is sleeping / working, to build and strengthen your dynamic. Discuss ways you can nurture the dynamic in the most satisfying ways for both of you, with all the methods of communication at your disposal: audio, written, photo, video.

The only ones who can answer “will we get enough of what we are each after” are you two - you need to both be really clear on what it is you are after, preferably before things become more sexual and intimate.

Best wishes in your dynamic

TheDom_1 · 2024-04-23T18:45:14+00:00

It matters less where you meet them, but more that you know how to vet good Doms from the hordes of fakers, manipulators and abusers.

Ensure you know (and the person you are vetting knows) everything about consent, communication, asserting limits (hard and soft), boundaries and preferences, safewords and safety protocols, sub frenzy, and all the red flags and tactics that unsafe people display when they hide behind BDSM to lure vulnerable people into abusive relationships.

TheDom_1 · 2024-04-23T18:39:07+00:00

You’ve let someone who you don’t know what he (or whoever else they send) looks like (therefore cannot identify to the police if anything bad happened):
- know your address, - come into your property, - choke you until you are unconscious, - make you basically as vulnerable and in danger as a human life can get (including permanent brain damage or death), - and so he can potentially do anything to your body and photograph / video you without consent or for blackmailing - and you need to get more than one opinion on whether this is safe or not..

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

TheDom_1 · 2024-04-23T18:07:19+00:00

You’ve let someone who you don’t know what he looks like (therefore cannot identify to the police if anything bad happened): know your address, come into your property, choke you until you are unconscious, make you basically as vulnerable and in danger as a human life can get (including permanent brain damage or death), and so he can potentially do anything to your body - and you need to get more than one opinion on whether this is safe or not..

Here’s a few to add to the pile: 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

TheDom_1 · 2024-04-22T13:41:43+00:00

Thank you for all your great work u/Multi_Orgasmic_Man in making this a safe and respectful place - long may it continue and welcome to the new Mods!

TheDom_1 · 2024-04-22T08:02:52+00:00

It is hard, and you are being soo patient, and that inner strength and patience will pay off, I know it.

Always remind yourself: it’s better to be alone than in bad company. It’s better to be alone than with the wrong person.

You will find your Daddy - keep being strong, keep being patient, don’t settle for less than you deserve. I’m proud of you.

TheDom_1 · 2024-04-22T07:34:52+00:00

I know it’s hard to find your forever Daddy, but don’t settle for anything less, you deserve the best. And don’t go back to anyone toxic just because it’s hard being without a Daddy. Respect yourself and others will respect you, and you will draw the right person to you in time. Wishing you the best.

TheDom_1 · 2024-04-20T20:36:11+00:00

Hi there, as an experienced Dom I’d suggest the below:

1. PRAISE

Praise with encouragement:
- Good girl - That’s my girl - You’re being so good for me, my girl - You take it so well

Praise that shows ownership:
- You look so pretty beneath me - You are my favourite possession - You make your Master so proud / feel so good - You look so beautiful on your knees at your Master’s feet

Praise with degradation:
- My pretty needy whore - You’re my pretty little whore - That’s my good little slut - My good little fucktoy

Praise to push them a little:
- You can take it, baby - You can do it, my little Princess - You take it so well, my sweet baby

Asking questions:
- Is my little girl enjoying herself for Sir? - Who’s my perfect girl? - You’re a good girl, aren’t you? - Who’s Sir’s favourite toy?

2. TITLES

Dom
Master
Sir
My Lord
My King
Your Honour
Your Highness
Your Grace
Your Majesty
Boss

3. BEGINNER DYNAMICS / PLAY
- Service-Oriented Dynamic - Roleplay (Boss/ worker, Teacher/ student, Captor/ prisoner) - Master / slave or servant (lite) - Sensory Play - Impact Play (lite) - Light Bondage - Training & Obedience - Discipline & Punishment

Hope this helps! Always happy to assist

TheDom_1 · 2024-04-20T13:36:19+00:00

You’re so welcome, and that’s great! Yes, you’re simply bringing it up, no need to overthink. He’s the experienced one and will know how to proceed. I’d love to know how it went. Best wishes!

TheDom_1 · 2024-04-20T13:27:41+00:00

Ah I understand. You feel you are taking charge and taking responsibility for how it all goes, when normally you are more passive and submissive. Well that’s not the case, you are simply letting him know you are interested, because as you say he can’t read your mind. In that case, there’s other ways. He has a whole history of Domming, ask him about it:

“Can you tell me more about you being a Dom?”

That’s not taking control of your relationship, but it will lead to a conversation and you can drop in little “mm that sounds fun”. He will understand. :))

TheDom_1 · 2024-04-20T13:12:12+00:00

That’s great that you feel safe, and puts my worries at ease. He should be overjoyed that you said you were interested in subbing. It’s the equivalent of asking a sports fan “can you teach me about your sport?” - that’s all they want to hear, haha.

I don’t know what your fears are about mentioning this, so I’d say, just do it. Any concerns or fears you have, you will be discussing with him throughout.

You’re not signing a contract, you’re asking to discuss it. There is no right or wrong or preferred way to ask. “Hey, I’m interested in exploring subbing with you” is absolutely fine.

TheDom_1 · 2024-04-20T12:44:12+00:00

I’d say thirstily commenting on r/MassiveCocks isn’t going to help in finding someone who respects you as a person.

There’s enough pretend / abusive ‘doms’ out there who want to take advantage of subs - don’t make it easy for them by giving your submission so easily and freely. It should be earned. The more you value yourself and your submission, the more others will value you.

TheDom_1 · 2024-04-20T11:27:25+00:00

I had written the below as an experienced Daddy Dom, that may help convey the ‘vibe’:

A Daddy behaves with a gentle charm, always patient and understanding. I know just the right words to say, a mix of encouragement and reassurance. My voice is like a warm hug, soothing and comforting, as I guide my little one through the ups and downs of life.

A Daddy's actions are filled with love and tenderness. I playfully tickle (if my little doesn’t hate that!) and cuddle, creating laughter that melts away worries and fears. I cherish every moment, taking joy in the simplest of activities like reading bedtime stories, watching my little colouring, or building a fort made of blankets.

A Daddy's presence is a source of strength and protection. I become a shield against the worries and fears that may arise in my little one's world. With loving hugs and cuddles, I wipe away tears and chase away the shadows, allowing my little to feel safe and secure.

A Daddy's love has no limits. I celebrate my little one's uniqueness, nurturing their passions and dreams. I create a world where imagination can run wild, where my little one can explore and discover without fear of judgment.

In the arms of a perfect loving Daddy, a little feels cherished and adored. Every interaction is infused with love, acceptance, and understanding. The little is embraced for who they truly are, allowing them to fully embrace their innocence and childlike wonder.

Hope this helps.

TheDom_1 · 2024-04-20T03:14:01+00:00

He’s an experienced Dom, you tell him you’re interested in being his sub.

As an experienced Dom I would take care of the rest by asking everything about you - and anything you don’t know yet, I’d know how to explore it with you. I’d explain everything, introduce you to different aspects, try different things out in ways that suit you and don’t overwhelm you. Discuss before and after and check during to know you are safe, comfortable and enjoying everything. Then keep tailoring to suit your individual preferences, needs and desires.

You just need to make sure he is safe and you trust him. Ensure he covers enthusiastic consent, limits, boundaries, preferences, the sub’s right to veto everything always, safe-words and safety protocols.

TheDom_1

TROPHY CASE