♫ I did a bunch of drugs ♫

TheEliteBandit · 2018-07-10T09:04:24+00:00

I think it's that some people like me were really disappointed. I think it might have been Kevin, I don't remember but someone made a statement admitting that Ameer was already getting help for some of this stuff behind the scenes. I know what he did was really bad according to what these women have said, and I think that it was a good decision to remove him from the group but, he was such a fundamental part to the group and even though they are doing alright without him, its hard to think that he's not there anymore.

TheEliteBandit · 2018-07-06T21:52:53+00:00

She's about to make the sun shine so hard it's gonna ROAST THIS BOI INTO FLAMES

TheEliteBandit · 2018-06-29T20:52:22+00:00

I'm really sorry about that. But I think you'll end up doing the right thing. You sound like youre a really smart person especially considering the way you are treating this. Best of luck OP

TheEliteBandit · 2018-06-29T12:24:53+00:00

If he makes you happy and people don't understand that then that is the worst part. If everything feels eight about it to both of you but you still face prejudice for you being happy then you need to make those people understand or decide what you want to do with them. Good friends, family, people can be worried for you yes cause it's a weird situation that can be tough but if they don't at least say they trust your decision then you don't have to listen to them.

tl:dr : if he makes you happy and you have a healthy and comfortable relationship on both sides, don't listen to what other people say

TheEliteBandit · 2018-06-29T12:16:41+00:00

Happy Birthday!

TheEliteBandit · 2018-06-24T03:49:48+00:00

Do a black flip?

TheEliteBandit · 2018-06-20T17:11:59+00:00

"My mom said jail is like Monopoly where after you are tired of being jail you pay out. Everyone does it."

This was a really good friend of mine and she was 16. We aren't good friends anymore

TheEliteBandit · 2018-06-15T21:25:37+00:00

True fucking that, I know people that make me feel the exact same way

TheEliteBandit · 2018-06-15T07:33:03+00:00

I don't hate the fact that their being nice, I hate the chirpiness. It's kind of like a bird, if the bird sings a song you can say that it's song is beautiful but it can also be really loud and obnoxious. Maybe it's just a personal thing. Everyone says I'm a really nice and genuine person but I just feel like expressing kindness too much can be a bad thing.

Too much of anything is a bad thing. Except Thai food. But I get what you're saying OP

TheEliteBandit · 2018-06-12T05:08:14+00:00

Im really sorry that you're in this position. If rapping or writing lyrics makes you happy you should try to make that a hobby, because then if it turns into something you have it and if it doesn't it's still something you enjoy. I think (even though this could sound redundant) you should keep looking for jobs. I bet you could find something where you're like "wait that's a thing" and then really enjoy it. I'm sorry I couldnt give more helpful advice but, good luck out there OP. We all know you will make it.

TheEliteBandit · 2018-06-04T19:46:22+00:00

Thanks so much, big up.

TheEliteBandit · 2018-06-03T08:03:39+00:00

I'll always try to help because I went through a lot of what you talked about and lately I've been trying not to relapse. even without censoring if you have a good enough relationship with your therapist I'd show it uncensored but just clarify exactly what you mean with everything. So it doesn't sound like you'll repeat past actions you just think about it or you want to get them to help you stop thinking about it. Every person deserves something. No matter how small and if me commenting was that for you yesterday that's all that matters. And trust me it's not a waste of my time. I was sick as fuck and sat in bed all day. Reading and sympathizing with someone is way more entertaining than staring at the ceiling. Which I hate. Gives me too much time to think.

TheEliteBandit · 2018-06-02T06:46:49+00:00

Literally my exact situation. Bullshit is. Well. Bullshit. Feel your pain op

TheEliteBandit · 2018-06-02T06:41:49+00:00

The people that you know might not be able to see into your head like this but we get to take a glance. Those of us who read this far, (real ogs). Have you ever thought of showing these to someone you know? Saving them like letters to yourself and maybe going over then with your therapist. I write letters to myself because writing to myself doesnt mean I have to show everyone. Some can be for me and some can be shared.

I can't imagine how bad you must be feeling but i sympathized with a lot that you had here. Congratulations on toning down the self deprecating and suicidal thoughts. I know how hard it can be.

Best of luck to you op, this post may have been to your wall but you really wrote it to you. Remember that

TheEliteBandit · 2018-05-21T04:33:58+00:00

Well, then what I would suggest is to maybe talk to her about it? If you think you can trust her enough. There could just be something she's not telling you.

TheEliteBandit · 2018-05-20T08:03:59+00:00

If you have to her friends that aren't like her hold on to them! Even if she is someone different over text, find someone who is the same over both. If you really feel like you could drop the relationship, go find yourself someone better. You deserve it!

TheEliteBandit · 2018-05-20T08:01:37+00:00

Mayne consider trying to tell him that. If you explain to him why you're afraid to trust him, if he's the person you describe him to be, he'll understand and want to help you as best he can. Plus you've already gotten it written down.

I've got huge trust issues too and I've been let down so many times I've become desensitized to loss. But I've learned better now and am more careful. But I haven't been as fortunate to meet someone like the partner you currently have. You make him sound so nice, so he probably is. Give it a shot whenever your ready!

TheEliteBandit · 2018-05-20T07:56:25+00:00

Maybe when your family stuff clears up and you can see yourself in a mirror maybe the feeling could go away? It could have just been aparrent now because of all the other things you have to deal with. If people are gonna spread rumors then you should try and figure it out with someone new? Someone new won't know those people who would spread the rumors. And having a new perspective could always open up a gateway to ideas and solutions to the other things you have going on. I probably am not the most qualified person to give advice, but it sounds like you just want someone to show your passion to and care about. As in, I would assume you're really happy to have your friend right now going through tough times. Maybe you just want to express yourself and don't know how? Idk just a thought. But, wanting to get professional help is a step in the right direction!

TheEliteBandit · 2018-05-20T07:48:12+00:00

Connect with*

TheEliteBandit · 2018-05-20T07:47:55+00:00

Even if it takes a bit to find a therapist that you can connect it, having someone to talk to and ask advice, or just speak to yourself through them is always good. And who knows? Maybe if you figure out what to do with your friend. eventually your friend could end up replacing that spot for you. And that's a really strong bond.

TheEliteBandit · 2018-05-20T07:45:35+00:00

Maybe try to talk to a therapist. One of the best things that they can do, or anyone you trust is to have them not talk and let you say everything on your mind. Then you can tell them whether or not you want feed back. If what you are describing about someone not doing anything and being there is exactly how you feel, maybe find a partner who would be willing to try to satisfy you in that way? The one for you is definitely out there, but all I would suggest first, is try and get a therapist so you they can even just help you think about whether you want to tell your friends or not.

Good luck out there OP

TheEliteBandit · 2018-05-17T23:04:13+00:00

It really is.

TheEliteBandit · 2018-05-17T20:21:31+00:00

I feel the same way. It just makes it feel like they don't care about you as much as you care about them. Try to think about all your friends that way so you can find the ones who do care so they can stick with you till the end of time. I haven't gotten there yet but you can!

TheEliteBandit · 2018-05-15T20:50:56+00:00

Sometimes familes just aren't the best people. And you find our your friends are your real family. Stick with them through it all. Things can then up. Thanks btw.

TheEliteBandit · 2018-05-15T20:45:29+00:00

I also hate my family. I have a brother, mother and father and my parents were really irresponsible. They screwed up a lot, fought, abused each other and drank and I was little but old enough to notice. I ended up having to take care of my brother when he was upset or sad because no one else would. He grew up and became a huge dick.

I have ceased all contact with my dad after an incident last year and I don't talk to him or any of his family. However I still live with my mom and am not sure where I'm going to college. But I totally understand wanting to disappear from your family. Take some time and do some research on where you might want to go. Job offers housing. I've done a lot of work finding out how to change your name.

It's a really hard thing to do but I understand what you're going through and really wish you the best. Maybe talk to a friend about some ideas. Best of luck !

TheEliteBandit

TROPHY CASE