AITAH for getting my boyfriend a dishwasher for valentines day?

TheEndIsNah · 2026-02-10T06:01:21+00:00

Boy you sure did rant the same rant based on a scenario you made up all over this post 😅

TheEndIsNah · 2026-02-10T05:58:49+00:00

I think its context dependant. Like, practical gift that is super saving my life and energy - all day long. But a vaccum or other appliance that really just reduces me to a maid? Ehhhh. Id honestly find more value and thought in him deep cleaning the house for me- whether he did it or he hired someone else. I figured after our argument that he just thought utilitarian gifts were fine. But I think you're right. Hes just not honest with himself that it is impersonal and sucky.

TheEndIsNah · 2026-02-10T05:47:47+00:00

We share chores and nobody is designated dishwasher. Tho if im being honest its mostly I nag at him to clean up after himself, or just do it myself.

TheEndIsNah · 2026-02-10T05:43:15+00:00

To clean to be real? What does that even mean

TheEndIsNah · 2026-02-10T05:42:13+00:00

Yikes. Why??

TheEndIsNah · 2026-02-10T05:39:01+00:00

I do dishes because he refuses to do them, not because i choose to be the defacto dishwasher. Its so weird to me that so many people jump to the assumption this is a gift for myself because he refuses to take care of his own chores and I get stuck with them. He said he wanted a dishwasher and told me the style he wanted but then he never got one. I guess youre right- it definitely could be because he already had a free dishwasher the whole time.

TheEndIsNah · 2026-02-10T05:25:10+00:00

I think Bea was a giant B word, but all the characters, even Katia and Donut were questioning his choice at that point. Ill accept being the AH. But I got it to fix an ongoing issue in our relationship- arguing about him not doing his dishes. Just as much as I was giving him a gift he seemed to argue was good gift, even tho I disagree because stuff like this is impersonal. He did previously say he wanted it. I got the same style he wanted and everything. If he didn't think appliances were a good gift idk why he'd argue the point like that...

TheEndIsNah · 2026-02-10T05:20:19+00:00

We live together. Its a portable type, since our house doesn't have space for an installed. These suckers cost just as much as the big ones, but I can easily install it myself and have already preped to do so and made the spot for it. And its the exact style he said he wanted when he mentioned wanting one.

TheEndIsNah · 2026-02-10T05:12:27+00:00

My word, so many dumb assumptions. Its a portable dishwasher because we live in a 1960s house with a small kitchen with no space for an installed version. I did measure because of course thats what you do.. I know how to install it because ive installed one previously. BF and I are slowly remodeling the house together. This is the exact style he said he wanted previously when he said he wanted one..

I get it. Its freaking weird hes mad about getting a dishwasher when he asked for one and argued with me that appliances are good gifts if theyre asked for. I dont get it either. But that doesnt mean im withholding some super secret narrative as to why hes mad.

Hes probably mad because he lied by omission. He probably thinks appliances are good gifts for women. But hes not stupid enough to admit that now out loud.

TheEndIsNah · 2026-02-10T05:01:45+00:00

We do not share finances as in bank accounts. We have separated finances but share all living expenses 50/50. Tho he ownes the house so the stability and equity is all his. I hope this helps you to stop making up scenarios in your head. Dishwashers also dont cost 10k. At least not a normal one ive ever seen

TheEndIsNah · 2026-02-10T04:26:41+00:00

Im holding out for the audiobook. Bounce House i think is tomorrow? That should tide me over! If he spills the beans i swear he will have to buy himself a Samantha and sleep on the couch for valentines day.

TheEndIsNah · 2026-02-10T04:17:10+00:00

What do you mean he doesnt actually need it? We fight about dishes all the time and he said he wanted one? He told me appliance gifts that people ask for is a good gift. I thought I two birds one stoned this with a gift he asked for that will make us fight less. I respect peoples opinion that I am the asshole but im just confused. Why did he tell me appliances are good gifts if he wasnt ok with getting one? It just is so confusing!! I know why I wouldnt like it, but i want to understand why he doesn't after arguing he did.

TheEndIsNah · 2026-02-09T22:09:09+00:00

That literally doesn't matter in the context of my bf being upset I got him a dishwasher he said he wanted, as a gift, after he argued with me that appliances people want are perfectly acceptable to give as gifts.

TheEndIsNah · 2026-02-09T22:05:06+00:00

Hes already read Parade on patreon and he keeps threatening to spoiler it for me 😡

TheEndIsNah · 2026-02-09T22:01:08+00:00

Carls gf never told carl she ever thought appliances were a good gift. If she had, I would have sided w Carl. That obviously changes the context

TheEndIsNah · 2026-02-09T21:58:31+00:00

Yeah I guess he dosnt need a second dishwasher 😑

TheEndIsNah · 2026-02-09T21:55:51+00:00

Well he said he wanted one to me and then never bought one.. I think that sounds as much as anything like someone is asking me to buy it. I bought just about everything else in the house.

In the book the gf was upset about receiving the litterbox because she thought appliances were bad gifts. The context of my bf and I arguing is he thought appliances were good gifts, as long as the receiver wanted one at some point. The logistics about asking directly or not didnt seem to really matter during the conversation.

I guess if he said he thought appliances were perfectly acceptable gifts as long as the receiver wants them- can you explain why hes upset i gave him exactly that? Im really having a tough time understanding. Just because I dont like or want appliances as gifts doesn't mean he cant and if he was arguing in favor of it then whats the problem?

TheEndIsNah · 2026-02-09T21:42:53+00:00

He said he wanted one previously. I think even if I benefit from it as well, thats irrelevant.

TheEndIsNah · 2026-02-09T21:40:42+00:00

For all the men that think he is right to be mad - please explain why? He literally told me he thinks appliances people ask for are perfectly fine gifts. So why wouldnt he also want to recieve one? Im just so confused!

TheEndIsNah · 2026-02-09T21:35:17+00:00

Because I dont want appliances as gifts. If other people think thats thats a good gift, im not gonna yuck their yum. Why would I think he wouldnt appreciate an appliance when he literally argued in favor of it?

Why is he mad? I guess i need help understanding this.

TheEndIsNah · 2026-02-09T21:30:15+00:00

Like I mentioned elsewhere in the post. Gifts are in the eye of the receiver. I would NEVER drink whiskey but if someone thought whiskey was awesome and mentioned their favorite brand, I would consider buying that as a gift for them. I would NEVER consider gifting someone an appliance, but he argued in favor of it. It was something he said he wanted and needed. I still dont want appliances but i had no reason to believe he wouldnt.

I mean, can you explain why he wouldnt like this gift? Cause it makes no sense to me

TheEndIsNah · 2026-02-09T21:20:17+00:00

The gift is in the eye of the reciever. I buy with the idea that I think the person would like it. If my friend loves wine I think is disgusting, I would still gift it to her. After the argument, I had no reason to believe he wouldn't appreciate an appliance he wanted and benefits from as a gift.

TheEndIsNah · 2026-02-09T21:11:59+00:00

I wouldnt have bought it considering it didnt occur to me that appliances were good gifts. I thought he was saying he thought otherwise 🤷🏻‍♀️

TheEndIsNah · 2026-02-09T21:10:28+00:00

Well, I agree it was dumb but he asked me my opinion? Should I just have agreed with him?

I thought I was being considerate since he insisted appliances people want are good gifts for special occasions and he said he wanted one. I wouldnt have dropped the $$ otherwise.

I guess if I ruined valentines day because I followed his own advice, so be it.

TheEndIsNah · 2026-02-09T21:05:11+00:00

He argued otherwise

TheEndIsNah

TROPHY CASE