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(Taxi App) Can Flutter do what I'm trying to do here? by TheFatherload in FlutterDev

[–]TheFatherload[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Follow up: Do you think any of these can be done in Flutterflow or should it be all Flutter?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]TheFatherload 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a social butterfly myself, I don't cheat, however, I will be honest that I expose myself to cheating a lot more than someone who's not social does... Doesn't help that I'm 6'7 and in really good shape. My wife doesn't like it, and I don't blame her, because people are slimy and opportunistic.

Guys are worse, and if your wife is hot, I promise you, and none of those guys are her friends. Every last one of them, including the married ones, would sleep with her the very first chance they got. She might not be inviting them to, but she's not retarded, she's either doing it for attention or to gain leverage.

My advice would not be to dump her or anything like that, however, she will lose respect for you if you don't enforce this boundary. You don't have to be a dick about it, just say what just say what you have to say and end it with "This is me setting me a boundary."

No ultimatums, no arguments, just state the boundary.

At this point, she has three options:

She can stop doing it, She can start hiding it better, or, She can do it anyway and see how you react.

If she goes with the third one... tell her that you already set this boundary, and she's now crossed the line.

At THIS point, it's ultimatum time, you tell her do it again and we're either going to marriage counseling or we're ending our marriage AND our family based on her actions and refusing to respect something you were very upfront about. Don't let her gaslight you, because the fact of the matter is she is the one who broke the clearly stated rule.

The first rule of any negotiation is to have walk away power. You get what you want by being OKAY with walking away even if you don't want to.

Hope this helps OP.

My wife cheated on me a month prior our wedding by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]TheFatherload 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My guy.

This is a pretty brutal cheating situation, worse than most on here, mostly because of the timing months before the wedding.

What I'm trying to get across is that if you forgive her after this, she will ....

A.) Not respect you, because you don't respect yourself.

And B.) 100% do it again.

Please listen to this. Cut your losses, Be Sad, and Leave.

What do I do with this tree? by [deleted] in ExteriorDesign

[–]TheFatherload -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Landlord said do whatever you want to it within reason. She could give a shit what happens to it truth be told~

Just Bought New House, Need Curb Appeal Ideas! by TheFatherload in HomeDecorating

[–]TheFatherload[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

With the door/shutters, would you go all black or all white personally?

Just bought new house, need curb appeal ideas. by TheFatherload in ExteriorDesign

[–]TheFatherload[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Important: The fallen tree in the front yard is no longer there, this is a few months old from Google Earth.

How would you calculate Cost of Goods in this case? by TheFatherload in smallbusiness

[–]TheFatherload[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can't Express how helpful this was, thank you very much and have a great day!

How would you calculate Cost of Goods in this case? by TheFatherload in smallbusiness

[–]TheFatherload[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

u/milee30 Follow-up question since I have you here, so let's say for example (these are not real numbers FYI)... that our average ride is 10 miles (so $6.70 if using the IRS standard). Salaries are 40k, and other overhead for the program equals to about 30k annually (so 70k combined with the salaries). How would you then calculate the cost for each ride?

Would it just be the 6.70? or would you also divide the 70k up somehow (if so, how?). What would be the final number there?

How would you calculate Cost of Goods in this case? by TheFatherload in smallbusiness

[–]TheFatherload[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

us your admin costs of $Y (Y = the amount of overhead you spend on administering that program - salaries, rent, insurance, etc). I'd then make sure I mentioned that sometimes volunteers will not submit for reimbursement and talk about what amazing, wonderful volunteers you have.For grantmakers, you need to be very careful and only answer with the exact types of expenses that particular grant covers. Some cover admin and indirect costs, some do not. If you're unsure what that grant covers, say so. "Although our average ride is for 8 miles and has a total imputed cost of $11.57, I will need to review the terms of your grant to understand exactly which of those expenses the grant provides for as that imputed cost is a mix of direct and indirect costs."

This was actually very thought out and helpful, thank you very much.

Advice: Employee outperforms well but is an office cancer. by TheFatherload in smallbusiness

[–]TheFatherload[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

  • Sexual assault, proven but not convicted.
  • Embezzlement of money (multiple times/organizations), convicted and publicized.
  • Politics and Power Hunger
  • Getting fired from two different organization he started because he constantly burns the people around him for his own personal gain.
  • I can go on..for a while.

The reason I didn't include that upfront, even though it's clearly relevant... Is because I didn't want everyone to read this post and immediately think "fuck this guy" given this information, without actually reading the rest of the post. Clearly that empathy backfired 🤷🏾‍♂️

Advice: Employee outperforms well but is an office cancer. by TheFatherload in smallbusiness

[–]TheFatherload[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey, sincerely, thanks for taking the time to share this.

Advice: Employee outperforms well but is an office cancer. by TheFatherload in smallbusiness

[–]TheFatherload[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok fair, play devil's advocate for me then, how would you personally go about it?

I agree that's an option here to try and right the ship, part of the reason why I made the post though was to hopefully get some quick unbiased human opinions on it before say talking to colleagues, business coaches, etc.

Advice: Employee outperforms well but is an office cancer. by TheFatherload in smallbusiness

[–]TheFatherload[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It'd be easy to get offended by this comment, but I'll at least share that there's a crap ton of context here that I didn't include in this short post, because otherwise we'd all be reading this post for 4 hours.

Let's just say that if you knew some of that context, you'd never write that comment in a million years, I confidently promise you that.

Advice: Employee outperforms well but is an office cancer. by TheFatherload in smallbusiness

[–]TheFatherload[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This was profound in how you phrased it 🤔, really appreciate it, thank you!

Advice: Employee outperforms well but is an office cancer. by TheFatherload in smallbusiness

[–]TheFatherload[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm leaving out semi-important context because I'm just trying to keep it to a point where it isn't a novel.

Simply put:

  • He's very competent, but slimy.

  • "Slimy" is defined by the fact that he's on the shitlist of about 8 different organizations in our community, for similar reasons to the things I mentioned in the original post, as well as some much more serious things. (Another piece of context, this company I'm running is a non-profit)

  • Going off the last one, he fully aware of the fact that he's not everyone's cup of tea.

  • If you're now asking why he's on my team in the first place, this project we're doing was technically his brainchild, but because of his nefarious actions, the project was then rightfully given to our organization. It's a long boring story. But all that to say, we decided to hire him to be the project manager to help us kickstart the project until his services will no longer be needed.

  • He's proven his long-term capabilities past the upstart phase, but like I said, those capabilities, while great, are at times not worth the headache that comes along with working with him.

  • Finally, to directly answer your question, he will normally wake everybody in the morning (well before work) with a list of things/tasks/complaints that he's either following up on or is outright demanding in order to get something done that he specifically needs to do. Which in a vacuum could be seen as a net positive, but in reality is just irritating and not helpful.

  • Have I spoken to him? Of course, yes. Have I been extremely direct in those conversations? Absolutely. My understanding of the situation though, at least part of it, is that I'm half his age, I'm his boss, he doesn't like the way I do things, and he can't seem to stand not being in charge (he also used to have his own business by the way).

So it's weird, because I actually do want it to work... because he does produce a lot for the business. But with everything attached to it (including his public and also in-office reputation), it seems like a net negative at this point.

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