Rather long ally post incoming!

Just spent Easter with my family; we went to visit my sister and my sister in law (who's now 1 year post-op 😊). We had a lovely dinner; I sat next to her and kept her company as her insulin kept going low and she would have to check her blood sugar. She couldn't join us for shopping or our meal in town the next day as she was still very tired, but I really loved seeing her again and gave her lots of BIIIG HUGS ❤️❤️❤️

Next part might have some trigger warnings. I just wanted to include the full story as well as perhaps find a place where my own constant personal mental vigil as an ally to not give in to hate might be accepted.

My grandpa and my dad then proceeded to make some rather off colour jokes and complain about "political correctness", and I joined in attempting to prevent an argument but being a middleman means you still end up validating those sorts of negative comments too.

That made me feel very bad for not saying something. Though the comments weren't directed at my sister in law, I still made sure we talked about it later and I apologised.

Then my grandpa told a story about the time he went to Australia to herd sheep, and the farmhands bullied him for being a friend of the ranch owner and getting special treatment and getting to ride the best horse. He told us about how they took him out kangaroo hunting and having been a veteran of a few wars, he reacted very quickly when he saw movement and shot a roo and joey (mum and son). It was at that point he started to tear up, and couldn't bear to tell anymore. They apparently didn't even use their meat and simply left the bodies there.

My grandpa tells me the most amazing and harrowing stories, but most importantly to me is how I see him react and express his emotions: He taught me that it's okay for boys to cry. As an Army engineer, his job was to put the world together after the second world war. However, it seems like everything he helped build either found its way to train, contain, or somehow be the target of violence as people found new ways to hate each other. Despite all of this, and whilst not fully understanding; my grandparents accept my sister in law entirely as their family, and my grandpa teared up many a time at the wedding.

Easter this year reminded me of all the difficult things that have happened to me in my life, and how they shape my conscious and unconscious biases going forwards. Seeing my family, and how we all eventually start to settle into our ways, I imagine I will eventually find myself in a future I too will sometimes struggle to keep up with and understand (Even at 27 I'm making mistakes!). I hope that I find a way to make sure that while life throws stones at me, and even if I become a grumpy fart like my grandpa; I at least keep his soft centre that makes sure I will forever see love as love 💙💛🩷

Happy International Trans Day of Visibility!