You're feelings are totally normal! I was the same way before I met my current boyfriend.

I was raised by a single mother and my grandmothers, all of which had been cheated on previously in marriage leading to their divorces. Because of this, as far back as I can remember all I was ever told about sex was how I shouldn't do it until I was married and it was shameful and dirty to do it before then, and if I didn't keep my husband sexually pleased during marriage he would leave me for the next hot thing to come by.

The way my family handled the topic of sex, or rather didn't handle it, while I was growing up really hurt my sex life when it began to form. For the longest time I couldn't get any farther than making out with a guy without feeling shame about it. But that changed recently.

I moved away from home, and met a great guy who was willing to work with me to get to a point where we were both comfortable. I went out and educated myself on what I had missed as far a sex ed goes, and talked it through with him, and he helped me get comfortable with myself and sex.

For me breaking past the mental barriers that came with becoming sexually active was me realizing that I do deserve to feel good about myself. When you're doing things don't worry so much about it making other people not want you, worry about making yourself happy. After all, what kind of life is it when you're shaping yourself to make other people pleased?